I’ve started to understand my last BadBoss a lot more, recently.
This prospect scares me, as I can’t imagine becoming that kind of person, and don’t want to. Not even a little bit. She was a bitter, hurtful person, and it frightens me to think that I could ever be like that.
I wished my neighbors to go up in a fiery ball of misery last night.
I wanted to take the tree out to the boulevard for the trash to pick up today.
I wanted out.
I’ve begun to hate the holidays with the fire of a thousand burning suns.
What happened? Well, yesterday morning, I was still kind of riding the anniversary high, and on my break, posted a couple of replies to friends, cheerful and upbeat. Then I got a phone call on my cell that changed everything.
*Please excuse me if I skip over some parts, if I don’t, this post will turn into a raging miserable rant, and I just don’t want to go back there*
The phone call was the police – animal control. My 2 German Shepherds (Jack & Jill) had gotten out of our fenced-in yard (by jumping over a low point due to built-up snow), and he had them penned in a neighbor’s yard. He needed to talk to me, and have me come home and get them. I went. Fast.
When I got there, I found out that supposedly, Jack (the guard dog) had charged at a neighbor. He didn’t actually attack, just charged, which is typical for him to do with strangers. When we have him out walking, he’s always on a leash, and has a muzzle on, because we know that he doesn’t like strangers. We didn’t socialize him on purpose, due to the fact that when we bought him, it was for protection.
Jill, on the other hand, loves everyone, and I’m not sure that she’d do anything to a stalker/burglar/trespasser but lick them, and pee on the floor in front of them when they looked at her.
The neighbor that got charged at by Jack, he and his wife have hated us for years. Their dog (a Sheltie) has gotten into our yard numerous times, every time we’ve simply sent a child over to get them to come claim their dog. They’ve also had loud parties until very late hours, where their guests have taunted my dogs, sending Jack into a frenzy, and almost causing him to jump fences to get at one man that was dangling himself over the fences, hollering obscenities. I had to bring the dogs in that night, and tie them up.
Granted, Jack did get into their yard once, when he was younger. My husband jumped the fence, grabbed the 150 lb. dog, and tossed him back over onto our side. No harm, no foul. There have been other incidences with these neighbors, not dog-related, but for whatever reason, they can’t stand us. And we can’t stand them. Their 12-year old son is not allowed to even speak to OnlySon over the fence, due to their hatred. I’ve told OnlySon that none of this is that boy’s fault. That he’s just a kid, so I don’t want him to blame the other boy for this.
These two boys could have been best friends. They live right behind us, their son is exactly the same age as OnlySon – they attend the same school. It’s sad.
Another neighbor, the one whose yard was used to corral the dogs, told the animal control officer that the dogs barked a lot. His 3 dogs are allowed to bark at all hours, and to howl, I guess, but he doesn’t like it when mine do. He also forgot about all the times that his largest dog has jumped out of their yard, charged our fence, and us, or has gotten hung up on their fence by his collar, almost strangling himself to death – and we saved him by telling the neighbors about it.
*sigh* So much for trying to get along with the neighbors.
So now, the dogs go out to the bathroom – one at a time – and muzzled – and they are watched, to make sure that they stay away from the fence.
So what does that have to do with the price of candy-canes at the North Pole?
Well, this is not the only issue. There are others, including more legal trouble for Eldest, that I just found out about yesterday. AND, I now have to go to court on the 29th because of this, to prove to the city why I should be allowed to keep my dogs.
My last BadBoss had a deep-seated loathing for the Christmas holiday. She hated it, because approximately 25 years ago, her husband passed away from cancer right around Christmas. It was all just painful memories for her, and it turned the holidays from a joyful time, to a time of excruciating loss and crushing miserable memories.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas – BadBoss style.I’m trying, I’m really trying, Goddess. Help me overcome this legacy of pain, of misery. I don’t want it. Not now, not ever. Help me to not be that, to find my joy again, and walk through this place.