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The Legacy

I’ve started to understand my last BadBoss a lot more, recently. 

This prospect scares me, as I can’t imagine becoming that kind of person, and don’t want to.  Not even a little bit.  She was a bitter, hurtful person, and it frightens me to think that I could ever be like that.

I wished my neighbors to go up in a fiery ball of misery last night.

I wanted to take the tree out to the boulevard for the trash to pick up today.

I wanted out.

I’ve begun to hate the holidays with the fire of a thousand burning suns.

What happened?  Well, yesterday morning, I was still kind of riding the anniversary high, and on my break, posted a couple of replies to friends, cheerful and upbeat.  Then I got a phone call on my cell that changed everything.

*Please excuse me if I skip over some parts, if I don’t, this post will turn into a raging miserable rant, and I just don’t want to go back there*

The phone call was the police – animal control.  My 2 German Shepherds (Jack & Jill) had gotten out of our fenced-in yard (by jumping over a low point due to built-up snow), and he had them penned in a neighbor’s yard.  He needed to talk to me, and have me come home and get them.  I went.  Fast.

When I got there, I found out that supposedly, Jack (the guard dog) had charged at a neighbor.  He didn’t actually attack, just charged, which is typical for him to do with strangers.  When we have him out walking, he’s always on a leash, and has a muzzle on, because we know that he doesn’t like strangers.  We didn’t socialize him on purpose, due to the fact that when we bought him, it was for protection

Jill, on the other hand, loves everyone, and I’m not sure that she’d do anything to a stalker/burglar/trespasser but lick them, and pee on the floor in front of them when they looked at her.

The neighbor that got charged at by Jack, he and his wife have hated us for years.  Their dog (a Sheltie) has gotten into our yard numerous times, every time we’ve simply sent a child over to get them to come claim their dog.  They’ve also had loud parties until very late hours, where their guests have taunted my dogs, sending Jack into a frenzy, and almost causing him to jump fences to get at one man that was dangling himself over the fences, hollering obscenities.  I had to bring the dogs in that night, and tie them up.

Granted, Jack did get into their yard once, when he was younger.  My husband jumped the fence, grabbed the 150 lb. dog, and tossed him back over onto our side.  No harm, no foul.  There have been other incidences with these neighbors, not dog-related, but for whatever reason, they can’t stand us.  And we can’t stand them.  Their 12-year old son is not allowed to even speak to OnlySon over the fence, due to their hatred.  I’ve told OnlySon that none of this is that boy’s fault.  That he’s just a kid, so I don’t want him to blame the other boy for this.

These two boys could have been best friends.  They live right behind us, their son is exactly the same age as OnlySon – they attend the same school.  It’s sad.

Another neighbor, the one whose yard was used to corral the dogs, told the animal control officer that the dogs barked a lot.  His 3 dogs are allowed to bark at all hours, and to howl, I guess, but he doesn’t like it when mine do.  He also forgot about all the times that his largest dog has jumped out of their yard, charged our fence, and us, or has gotten hung up on their fence by his collar, almost strangling himself to death – and we saved him by telling the neighbors about it.

*sigh*  So much for trying to get along with the neighbors.

So now, the dogs go out to the bathroom – one at a time – and muzzled – and they are watched, to make sure that they stay away from the fence. 

So what does that have to do with the price of candy-canes at the North Pole?

Well, this is not the only issue.  There are others, including more legal trouble for Eldest, that I just found out about yesterday.  AND, I now have to go to court on the 29th because of this, to prove to the city why I should be allowed to keep my dogs. 

My last BadBoss had a deep-seated loathing for the Christmas holiday.  She hated it, because approximately 25 years ago, her husband passed away from cancer right around Christmas.  It was all just painful memories for her, and it turned the holidays from a joyful time, to a time of excruciating loss and crushing miserable memories.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas – BadBoss style.

I’m trying, I’m really trying, Goddess.  Help me overcome this legacy of pain, of misery.  I don’t want it.  Not now, not ever.  Help me to not be that, to find my joy again, and walk through this place.
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25 thoughts on “The Legacy

  1. I am so sorry you are going through all this, especially right before Christmas. It is sad that your neighbors, who are also dog owners, do not take a moment to realize that ALL dogs bark and given a chance…ALL dogs will try to make a break for it. I pray the City realizes this and will use common sense and allow you to keep your cherished dogs. So sorry about the eldest. I hope everything comes out OK. You are in my thoughts dear friend. Try to hold your head up. Things WILL get better.

    • Thanks, Mark. I really appreciated the message you sent yesterday – I just wasn’t up to talking to anyone yet. Just one of my “mini-meltdown” volcanoes. It will get better, OtherHalf even told me last night that “Something always happens, whenever there’s something bad, something always seems to pull it out of the fire.” *said in a wondering voice*

      I just haven’t gotten him to come around to the realization that Tabitha is at work, and Brea has connections. And 3 witches in one head is… wow. Crowded. But at least, we all get along! 🙂

  2. What is it with people? Seriously. I want to know. Bosses who are jerks are just the tip of the iceberg. “I have power over you, therefore I must use it to hurt you.” I find that kind of behavior very hard to imagine. I try to treat people the way I’d like to be treated. I can’t understand people who don’t. I was a boss myself once, for five years, and I always treated the people I supervised the way I’d like to be treated if it was the other way around.

    Sadly, far too often, those of us who actually try don’t always get back what we try to give. That’s the story of my life.

    I’ve had bad neighbors. Those are bad scenes. Jobs and neighbors are especially hard because they are two situations where you have limited control. Yes, you can theoretically change both. But it’s just not that easy or feasible to change jobs or pack up and move. Worse, there is no guarantee that making such a change would actually improve anything. One bad neighbor pointed a loaded gun at my dad, threw cat poop at our house, and called my mom profane names when she went in our front yard. More recently, we lived next to flaming idiots who were annoying as hell. Thankfully they were kicked out by our landlord and replaced with nice, quiet people. For now, the storm has passed. I have a nice boss and no bad neighbors.

    Hopefully that will happen for you, too. What we have to endure is usually not permanent.

    I trust that the City will be reasonable, but I’m sorry you have to defend animals that you love.

    • Thanks, Tom. I was glad to get away from that BadBoss, she was stuck in the mindset of “I am the Boss, so I can dictate everything, and no one can say anything.” She was, is still, very bitter and hurtful, and can’t understand why people don’t want to work for her.

      The company that I left? Had a 105 yr. run, from one owner to the next, with a very good reputation up till the last couple of years. I was one of the last hold-out employees to jump ship. It stayed open for a few more months, and folded, closing its doors for good. I’m not saying I was the catalyst for it closing, far from it. I was just one of the last poor suckers to hang on without a lifeboat, until my mental health couldn’t take it anymore.

      As far as the neighbors are concerned? Well, next time they have one of their raucous parties, it WILL be me that calls the cops. And if the other neighbor’s dog gets out and charges our fence, or one of my kids again? I WILL call animal control, instead of walking next door to warn them that their dog is loose. I tried the “get along, just get along” route. Turning the other cheek just gets you slapped on both sides, it seems.

      Thanks for your kind words and concern.

  3. I’ve always found that things have a way of balancing themselves out. Good news is everything (so far) hasn’t risen above the level of annoynace. Your BadBoss is sending you message that sometimes, roll with it, she’s had a quarter century of bitterness for the holidays when she could have celebrated her husbands life and turned into something good.

    I predict their dogs will find themselves in your yard and they’ll have to come crawling.. kharma you know.
    Chin up, it’s just the holidays 🙂

    • Thanks, Sank! We have found their dog, at least the one, in our yard before. Luckily, our dogs were in the house at the time, or it could’ve been bad.

      That’s one of the things that really kills me about all this – the hipocrisy of these people to complain about our dogs, when their dogs have done the EXACT SAME THINGS, and we waved it off, because dogs do what dogs do.

  4. People can be so low and petty, Brea. I’m sorry to read this. It made me mad. I wish I could help you somehow. I don’t blame you one bit for being annoyed and angry. I think I’d probably loathe my neighbors after something like this, especially when they have dogs of their own. I hope venting this helped, even just a little, you.

    * HUGS *

    Kenz
    xoxo

    • Thanks, hon. It did help. Although I’ve learned not to blog angry. *sudden vision of Bill Murray in Groundhog Day* It’s always better for me to just let it go for at least a day, and step back from it, cool off a bit, THEN talk it out.

      This is going to be an ongoing theme for a while, as we have to go to court on the 29th for it, but I’m hanging on. And, working toward – maybe – letting go of some of the anger.

  5. Brea,
    Recently discovered your blog and have been following. This post rallied me to comment. Having a hateful boss (been there) and vicious neighbors (there too) is a serious drain, physically and mentally. The good news is, that if you keep on responding in a positive (non-retaliatory) way, you come out the winner. By all means, think and (talk here) about what you would LIKE to do to these people, but don’t do it. You don’t need the poison. My evil boss was fired. I was suddenly able to move away from the neighbors and got a much better house. Not saying those kind of outcomes are guaranteed, but I can guarantee that holding the hate won’t help you in the long run. Am I a cheek turning kind hearted person…nah, I always want to destroy my enemies..painfully. But I don’t because that let’s them have too much power.
    Keep strong. Keep writing.

    • Thank you. Normally, I do try to be non-retaliatory. I’m not much for conflict, unless there’s no other way to resolve it. I much prefer to try to talk things out, find a happy medium.

      But, when there’s been something this personal, this hypocritical (on the neighbor’s part), I can’t help but get a case of the Mean Reds. I’m not the type to “get vengeance”, but if one of their animals crosses our line, I will call animal control now. I’ve always let it slide in the past, trying to “get along” because we had to live in close proximity, but when you hurt one of mine, I no longer care about “getting along”. I care about getting justice. Not vengeance, not revenge, actual justice.

      We’ll see, if there’s a next time.

      Thank you for your kind and wise words. I appreciate it.

  6. Hey there,

    I was so glad to have the chance to visit with you at lunch, and to see that you’re feeling a little better. If you need any thing, don’t hesitate to let me know.

    HUGS!

    • Thank you, my friend and sister. Your friendship means more to me than you know, and I love that we’ve been able to get so much closer over the last few years. You truly are the sister I always wanted. Love you, Sparrow! (HUGS)

  7. I hope the morning brought you more cheer.

    In case I haven’t told you, I think your new header is perfectly fabulous. Or perfect AND fabulous. Whichever is more.

    • Thanks, Marylee! I appreciate the nice words, and I did appreciate the email. Things are improving, and hopefully will improve further before the year’s out. But my outlook isn’t as dark as it was that day, so, we’ll move forward and hope for the best.

  8. Praying for you, my dear. Not got a lot of energy but am sending a section of peace and good vibes your way. Not much else I am good for right now.
    xxx

    • HEY! You keep that! I’m bouncing it right frickin’ back where it came from! You need the healing and energy far more than I do right now, lady.
      🙂 thanks, tho, I ‘preciate it.

    • Thanks. One step at a time, hunh? *suddenly hearing the “Put one foot in front of the other” song from Santa Claus is Coming to Town*

    • Thanks. The thing that gets me the most is the hypocrisy. Every house on our block has at least one dog. When the sun starts to go down, you’d swear you were in 101 Dalmatians, because it IS the Twilight Bark. No lie. Every. Dog. Barks.

      And yet, mine are the ones being punished. *shrug*

  9. Pingback: Nerves | Brea's Air

  10. I’m sorry everything turned to crap right around the holiday. If it happened over the 4th of July you wouldn’t blame it on the holiday, but there’s something about Christmas that gets everyone on edge.

    I had a neighbour who’s pit bull killed my Pomeranian. I fought with him for months and when I got two bigger, meaner dogs he complained to the sherrif that they chased him and bit him. By the time the sherrif got to my house the dogs were inside and I told him they had been inside all day. I lied my ass off and when he left I gave each dog a cookie for biting the bad man.

    • *snicker* I would’ve done the same. When I was young we had a dachshund that was killed by a doberman that lived next door to my grandmother. I was maaayyybe 4, and I remember every second.

      And it’s not so much that this year’s crap happened around the holidays, but that I’ve had multiple years, in a row, where the holidays were the time when everything fell apart. I don’t blame the holiday. I blame the people. It’s the association, though, with the “joy” of the holidays, and the awfulness of the happenings, it all ends up in one big rabid hate spiral in my belly somewhere.

      I’m working on disassociating from it… maybe a x-mas in the Bahamas would help?

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