End of the year.
I hate goodbyes. I don’t like the way they make me feel, cut loose like a rowboat without oars, drifting off into the fog. And some goodbyes are harder than others.
But I’ll be glad to say goodbye to 2010.
I’ve already talked about the lessons I’ve learned in this past year. Some of them I already knew in my head, but they really came home to roost in my heart this year. Some of the others… well, they were hard-learned. But then you don’t really learn the important stuff when you’re happy and skipping down the street, do you?
You learn the hard, important stuff most often, on your knees, in the dirt, crying and wiping snot from your face. The lessons have a tendency to stick a little longer when you have that kind of memory backing it up.
But now, as I step into 2011, and enter into what, for me, is a very introspective portion of the year, I seek to define my goals and hopes for the upcoming 12 months. And I also count the blessings that I received this year. There were blessings.
Blessings: (Not in any order of importance, but in order of memory)
1. I not only participated in, but won NaNoWriMo. I actually can do it. I earned the blessing of self-confidence in my own writing.
2. My best friend from high school followed my Facebook page here, and contacted me again after many years. I re-gained the gift and blessing of a very dear friend.
3. I started my blog in December of 2009, but really, the meat of the beast didn’t fall into place until this year. This blog has been a HUGE blessing in my life this year, in more ways than I can enumerate.
4. Through the blogging world, I’ve met and gotten to know some very amazing people, many of whom have wormed their way into my heart, and are now lodged there as members of my chosen family. There is no greater blessing than adding loved ones to your life. I am extremely well blessed with this chosen family, as they are all made of awesome.
5. I was offered a chance to get published, through one of my other blogs. It’s for my poetry, which I never really thought seriously about getting published. This is the surprise blessing of the year, I think. Out of the blue, for something I’d never thought about, and the thrill still gives me the butterflies.
And now, the goals I want to work on, accomplish, or start this year:
1. FINISH the novel’s first draft. I am determined on this, and I won’t stop. I need to reorient my evenings to make room for this.
2. Get the Wicca 101 class set up, and then run it. I need to write the curriculum and prepare whatever class-scheduling I need to. Plus, I need to finalize the plans for where the class will happen during the cold months. Nice weather calls for lessons in the park.
3. Work on getting back into shape. Right now the shape is round. Weebles wobble…
4. Get some of the home projects finished this year. New windows, privacy fence, new trees in the backyard, some plaster work and some work in the bathroom. Lots of projects. But you gotta start somewhere, hunh?
5. Get my mental health back on a more positive track. Depression sucks. Anxiety bites. And I want to get my joy back again on a more permanent basis.
So, blessings and goals in place, I’ll stride forward into 2011, head up, eyes on the road ahead. I’ll kiss 2010 goodbye, the good – the bad – the indifferent. And this time, the goodbye doesn’t leave me feeling so lost. Just because the oars might not be in the boat, doesn’t mean I’m stranded.
I know how to swim.