Opening that Can
I’ve talked before about how I feel like I’m getting old. I have big plans for when that happens, and I’m looking forward to the day when I can officially take up my “crone stick” and start whooping some @ss that deserves it.
And there are a few. I’m going to make a list of some of the types of people that deserve a little karmic justice delivered fresh to their door.
1. People that forget that sports are supposed to be about the kids HAVING FUN. If it isn’t fun….. what’s the point? Why do you yell at these kids and call them names, screaming when they make an honest mistake, or, for pete’ssake, TRIP on the basketball court? IT’S A GAME, PEOPLE! And they’re KIDS. Learn some sportsmanship, or stay home. Especially the coaches. If you can’t teach the kids on your team good sportsmanship, WTH are you doing leading them?
Brea’s Philosophy: For these jerks, I’d like to see them get reamed out by their mothers for being bullies. And dragged off by their ears to sit in a corner till they can “play nice”.
2. People that expect their children to act like adults. They grow up fast enough as it is, folks. Give them the chance to actually act their age. I’m not saying that bad behavior is ok, but fer cryin’ out unprintably! You can’t expect a 2-yr. old to understand the same abstract concepts as a 25-year old, or a 40-year old. Give it a rest.
Brea’s Philosophy: Overstuffed parental units need to be deflated. Hand them a MENSA test, and see how smart they are, when they don’t pass, point and laugh. Then post their results on Fbook for everyone to point and laugh.
3. People that say that their way is the only way. Just where did you get those blinders? I thought they stopped issuing them around the time that free will came into fashion. I’ll hang on to my free will, thanks. You can just keep the blinders. They chafe.
Brea’s Philosophy: People that only see their own road, should be allowed to follow it. Attach a life-like bobblehead doll to the front of their blinders – they’ll think someone’s agreeing with everything they say, and they’ll walk off happily talking to their new friend.
4. People that think it’s ok to bully anyone, anywhere, at any time. They say that the bullies are just people with low self-esteem. I DON’T CARE. Bullies should NOT be tolerated in any form. When you see someone bullying, STEP UP and SAY SOMETHING. Silence is a form of acceptance.
Brea’s Philosophy: The only way to stop bullies is to back them down. It doesn’t have to get violent, just get smart. Bullies are usually not very smart. If they were, they wouldn’t be acting this way, because they wouldn’t feel the need to. They need to be brought low by the proper placement of shame. If you can make them feel ashamed of their bullying behavior, they’ll stop. Maybe even apolog— well, you can hope.
If the bully is being physically violent? Call the cops. 9-1-1.
And the last can of Old Lady Whoop @ s s I would like to open?
5. People that call me old, even if I am. Knuckle sammich.
Happy Friday, children! Keep it clean, and play nice!