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Blustery Days

Sometimes, like tonight, I have trouble expressing myself.

I’ll call it “writer’s block”, or “extreme mind fog”, or simply being tired.

But that’s crap.

It’s depression.

And I’m calling myself out on it.

Part of it is that the weather does affect me.  We had some really nice days, where things started to melt.  I was up, I was happy, Spring was on its way.

And then….. it got cold again.

And my mood has spiraled with it.

Also, there’ve been some things going on at home, that I don’t talk about.

Here, or anywhere else.

Needless to say, Oz isn’t perfect, the wizard isn’t behind the curtain anymore, Toto has fleas, and the Wicked Witch is really just a woman with issues.

The natural state of life is chaos.

And if I pass it off with a joke, or a snarky remark, well, that’s a mask I’m used to wearing.  It fits well, and I know just where it hangs in my closet when I need it.

Don’t panic.

This too shall pass.

Just not today.

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11 thoughts on “Blustery Days

  1. I love that you wrote, “The wicked witch is really a woman with issues…” so befitting. I have been where you’re at, I have even called myself out on it. It will get better. Anything, and everything, that is happening behind the curtain is workable… one bloody impatient step at a time.

    You have good people here. You have a good, supportive following. I know there are any number of us you can lean on. It’s healthier to purge, than it is to hold it in.

    • Thanks, Regan, seriously. The friends that I’ve made through blogging are amazing people, yourself included, and I know that I can count on you guys to prop me up, make me laugh, and get me thinking – all at the same time.

  2. It will pass. Huge cyber hug to you! You could always try blogging out all your thoughts and then just delete them without publishing them. Maybe just pounding them out on the keyboard might help. Just a thought. Let me know if there is anything idiotic I can do for you. 🙂

    • Usually, when I have something that inflammatory, I shift it over to my fire blog, and make it either password-protected, or private. It does help to pound them out. I just have kind of a loss for words on this yet. And Mark? You always make me 🙂 Even though sometimes it’s through the tears. Thanks!

  3. As a person with chronic, severe depression, I like to find blogs where someone is admitting to this state, even if it’s less severe. I get so tired of the societal attitude that goes… “Okay, you were depressed YESTERDAY. I’m not interested anymore. Get over it.”

    • I hear you there. I vacillate between the ups and downs, only sometimes hitting the real lows. My life is mostly a struggle to find that temporary balance in between. But, it’s a work in progress.

      Thanks for the visit, and the nice words.

  4. OK Brea dear…It’s a new day…..has it passed? Do I need to come up and sweep it out the door for ya? Let me know….. I need time to order snowshoes and hire a dog sled team……. That is the only way to get to Minot this time of year isn’t it? 🙂

    • I had a GREAT day, today! I got to road trip, hang with my daughters, and have dinner with one of my oldest, dearest friends – and laughed so hard I almost choked on my fries!

      Honestly? Things are starting to look up. Still a lot of the fog, but… a work in progress, nonetheless.

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