What’s on Brea’s mind these days?
Be very afraid.
My head is often a jumbled land of the ridiculous and ranty, topped with a generous dollop of the truly weird.
This week has been no different.
* I had a dream last night about vampires. I know part of the reason I dreamt about this is because I’ve been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have all the seasons, and just started watching them from the beginning again over the weekend. The really strange thing, though? They were not in Sunnydale… they were in the little town I used to call home, when I was a single mom, and where I spent most of my time as a 19-20 yr. old… the town of my favorite time of life. Also? One of my friends, one that passed away a few years ago, was there, and was helping me to fight the vampires. I have no idea where he popped up from, but we were royally kicking vamp butt, and it was awesome! It was actually a pretty cool dream.
* I’m anxious about my divorce (naturally), but what I’m most anxious about right now is the fact that although my attorney told me that the papers have been signed, there’s still no word on when it’ll go to the judge. There was a small mixup on the visitation schedule that requires an affidavit to correct it, and my attorney is supposed to tell me when it’s ready to sign. I haven’t heard anything yet, and it’s driving me crazy. Did his attorney send the paperwork back to mine yet? Is there yet another hang-up to be dealt with? I hate the waiting. I really hate waiting without knowing what’s going on. I need to be able to get on with the next phase of my life.
* Speaking of the next phase… I was able to get back into my old bedroom this weekend. After painting it! After 10, almost 11 years, of the awful dirty pastel teal that was in the room, I chose a beautiful yellow called “cornmeal”, because it’s light, and soft, and relaxing, and warm. The old room was a lot like the bat-cave, because it was always dark. The windows were blocked off to allow my husband to sleep during the day, since he works nights as a baker. There was never any real light in the room. Now there is. I worked all Saturday on it, and only have a bit left, which can be done in small bites, as I feel like it and have the time. My nephew came over on Sunday and helped me move my bed upstairs into the room and I got it all set up. I slept like a rock that night.
I love my new yellow room.
* YoungerDaughter has such a gift for making me laugh! She came home from work tonight, and after her shower, popped a huge chunk of chocolate in her mouth. I looked at her in dismay, and she said, mouth working hard to contain all the chocolatey goodness, was: “Awwa Wabbid’s foo… IS’ wuucky.”
All a Rabbit’s foot. It’s lucky.
That kid kills me! All she has to do is smile or giggle, and I’m overcome with joy. Truly, a gift and talent that will be invaluable to her throughout her life. She’s amazing.
* OnlySon has been quaking in his sneakers since he came home on Monday. I told him that we’re cleaning and reorganizing his room this weekend. Tremble in fear, boy. Mama’s bringing the YARD BAGS.
* I’ve been really thinking hard about the book lately. I want to get back to work on it, but by the time I get home at night, lately, I’m exhausted. My friend, Sparrow, told me that this is normal at this stage of the divorce process. Emotionally? I’m spent at about 10 pm. And… this leads to some rather odd texting late at night. Sorry, B. I mean it when I say I’m going to start keeping my phone in another room. Everyone’s safer that way!
* As tired as I’ve been, though? I’ve been picking and poking at small bits of Spring house-cleaning. I want to do a thorough, top-to-bottom, deep house cleaning this Spring, really get everything organized and ship-shape.
Then I’m going to do a total magickal house-cleansing and re-blessing. I want this house to lose that “bad ju-ju, emotional sinkhole” feeling that it’s had for so long.
I may just have a grand re-opening house party when I’m done, and fill the house with light, laughter, music, and good friends. Kick this thing off right!
* I’m so glad that the weather is starting to turn the corner here. It’s been cold for so long, and even though we’ve got a lot of flooding here, due to the fast snow-melt and winter clingage, there have been a couple of really nice, sunny days. I want so badly to get outside and walk in the park, instead of just sitting in my vehicle, watching the geese from my heated seat. I want to walk. Smell the fresh air, face the breeze, and let it blow through and around me, taking away all the anxiety and anger I’ve been hanging on to. I’m ready.
Now, how does this all coalesce to a cohesive and comprehensible whole – namely, my brain? Well, it doesn’t.
That’s half the fun of the game!
Uhhh…. ok! They don’t call ’em sliders fer nuthin’, I guess!