I am so clueless when it comes to dating, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.
Having been out of the loop for 14 years, I’ve forgotten how to be “coy” and “play the game”.
Instead, I’ve been discovering that I’m skeptical and cautious of showing too much that’s real, for fear of rejection.
Why would anyone want to take on a single mom, 40, almost 41 years old, with all the baggage that comes with a past and 2 kids still at home – one of whom is a teenager, and the other rapidly approaching teenager-hood?
I said in the other day’s post that I’d met someone.
That’s true, as far as it goes. I have met someone.
The problem is? Well, I’m not really sure what the problem is. At least not all of it. Because I’m so afraid of getting burned again, that I’m holding back. And I’m not sure that I’m really ready for the dating scene again.
Here’s what I do know, though…
*I don’t want to just “hook up” with someone. I’m so not into that. And I know that there are a lot of guys out there just looking for that. How do you weed them out? Why do I want to even bother meeting that kind of person? How do you meet real people looking for a real relationship?
*The bar-scene is not conducive to meeting real people. Everyone there is either half-lit, or totally bombed, and I’m over that whole thing. I like to have a beer once in a while, but I don’t want to make it my place to hang out. I’m not in my 20’s anymore, thanks.
*I would really like to find someone that would be able to just accept my faith, without taking it apart into little pieces. That’s kind of hard to find in this rural, mostly Christian culture. There aren’t a whole lot of pagans in my area, and most of the ones that are here, I already know. They’re not dating possibilities for me, for whatever reason.
*I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. Maybe I should just give up on this prospect, and call it a day. Go back to just being a mom and employee, and write the whole “relationship” thing off as a bad joke.
*I really like this guy. He’s funny, and he’s smart too. But, do I really want to crank up this whole “other person in my life” thing again?
*One step forward, two steps back… when did I start dancing? With my two left feet, this could be dangerous.