My life is full of things that are new. I work in an industry that has to keep up-to-date with what’s going on in the real estate world, and technology. It’s a fast-paced world, that is coming to rely, as so many industries are these days, on computers and the internet. And my company is always looking for new ways to connect with our customers, to give them the best service we possibly can, which requires that we keep our wits about us, and our fingers on the pulse of new technological ways to get the work done quicker, more efficiently.
In my personal life, as well, a lot revolves around the internet. Obviously, my blogs wouldn’t, couldn’t, exist without it. Many of the friends I have, I’ve found through the internet, either by blogging, or from facebook, or through pagan sites that I have joined in the past that bring new friends through their emailing system.
And, of course, there’s the online dating. That wouldn’t have been possible without all the new technology that exists today.
But, even with all the new-fangled toys, the bells and whistles of the universal internet…
I’m still an old-fashioned kind of girl, I guess.
You see, there’s a gentleman that I’ve been talking to. One that I met through this online dating site, and I really kind of like him. We haven’t met in person, though – because he lives 400 miles away.
And really, it’s almost been a blessing at the beginning, here. Because we’ve been talking – a lot. Getting to know each other slowly, learning about each other’s little quirks, habits, likes and dislikes, histories, and hopes for the future.
I feel rather like I imagine that my grandmother felt, way back in the days when she and my grandfather were first married, and he went off to service. That the distance was a hardship, sure, but that it didn’t stop the relationship, simply because there was extra geography separating them. Because, back then, there was no such thing as the “instant gratification internet”.
There were hand-written letters.
Long conversations, carefully thought out, pondered on, and re-thought, before they were ever committed to paper. You had to really weigh the words you spoke to another, think about them, and how they would sound to the other person, when they were read off the page. There was no “instant messaging”, no “text-speak”, no cell phones that you could use to call anyone, anywhere, anytime, and be guaranteed of reaching them almost the instant you decided to.
Now, K, the gentleman in question, isn’t really an “internet guy”. He’s a self-proclaimed “two-fingered typist”, and doesn’t email, or text. He prefers to speak on the phone, because it’s easier to get someone’s mood, someone’s intent, when you can actually hear their voice.
And while we’ve been working on a plan to actually meet, sometime in the hopefully near future, it hasn’t been workable just yet.
So, while we wait, we talk. Usually at least 2 times a week, and for about 2 hours at a time, we tell each other about how our week’s been going, how our kids are doing, what’s going on in the next few days. And we also ask each other questions, silly little “conversation starters” for the most part, that give us insights into the other person.
And through this, I’ve discovered something about myself.
That while I love new technology, and am a total internet-research geek… I want an old-fashioned kind of relationship. Not as in the “June Cleaver” or “Stepford Wife” kind of old-fashioned. Nah, no heels and pearls for this tomboy!
But I’m looking for someone that I can simply spend time talking to, really getting to know him, and letting him get to know me. I want that patient kind of relationship, that builds over time, not blows in like a tornado and throws everything up in the air. Someone that is willing to wait for it to be right, not just rush into something – and regret diving head-first afterwards.
I want… the friendship, the affection, and the romance, of that old-fashioned kind.
All brought right to my very fingertips by the high-tech world of online dating.
Ironic – but true.