Home » anxiety » Straight From The Hip

Straight From The Hip

I know that normally Thursday is my day to post Flash Fiction, and if you’re in desperate need of some, you can click the link to my story page, and read some of the pieces I’ve posted in the past.

There will be no fiction here today.

Today, I’m going to talk about lies, innuendo, vague truths, and actual truth.

This picture?  Is a lie.

Why?  Because Calamity Jane was never a lovely, sweet, singing blonde.

She didn’t run through her life like a character in a musical, didn’t care much about “lookin’ purty”, and pouting when she didn’t get her way.

This lady… was of course, Doris Day, playing a made-up part, highly fictionalized, and made palatable for the masses.

Everybody loved it, because it was how they wanted things to be.

But it wasn’t true.

And in a way, this is my problem.

Because right now, there’s someone in my life who has the notion in their head that I want that “fancified story”.  To make me feel better, or to keep me from getting angry, or to “spare my feelings”.  They use hints, teases, innuendo, and vague, half-truths with me.  Never really letting me know what’s really going on, I end up spinning everything they say around in my head, over-analyzing every phrase, every comment, until I end up dizzy and confused.

I call bullsh!t on that.

I’d much rather have the truth.  The real truth.  I’ve always been someone who had to know what was going on around me, for real.  I didn’t like anybody sugarcoating the truth for me.  My teeth have enough cavities, thanks.  And the “little white lies” and innuendos only end up hurting me in the end, anyway, because I’ve also been the type of person to trust someone until they prove they can’t be trusted. 

And once that trust is broken, it’s gone forever.

There are things that I want for myself in my life now.  There are goals I’ve set, not with a definite “expiration date” on them, but still goals.  Things I want to do with my life, places I want to go, accomplishments I want to attain.

And the only way I can ever get there, is if I know where I stand – right this instant.  Because right this very minute, I’m on my way somewhere, and if I don’t know where I stand, I can’t plan my route to the next destination.  Not and hope to get there anytime in the near future… if at all.

When I go to the doctor, they have a tendency to look at me funny when I tell them to “Give me the facts”.  I guess most people want only the “good”, not the “bad”, or the “ugly”.  They want to believe that only the best can happen, and that everything will be just fine.  As one of my favorite authors, Laurell K. Hamilton, says in her books “It’s pretty to think so”.  But the truth isn’t always pretty.  Sometimes, it’s just necessary.

I want to believe too, but if I don’t have all the facts – in any given situation – I won’t be able to make any informed decisions, and have to just follow someone else’s plans for me.  And I’ve never really been that good of a follower. 

I like to plot my own course, with all the facts at hand, and some asked for advice from people I know I can trust, to help me make my own decisions.  I can’t just blindly follow the blind.

And even if the news isn’t exactly what I wanted to hear, even if it hurts, I still want to know.  Because then I can plan around it, plan through it, maybe even find a way to fix what went wrong in the first place.  But without that honesty, right from the start?  Everything goes sideways… all the way down the line.

So I’ll take my Calamity Jane the way she really was.

Straight shooter, honest, and true to herself.

All the way down to her boots.

Even if it wasn’t blonde, musical, and “purty”.

I like my truth.

Straight from the hip.

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3 thoughts on “Straight From The Hip

  1. Wow. You’re right, of course. Our propensity for fooling ourselves makes it hard to imagine why we haven’t had “Charles Manson – The Musical” yet. The lead character could be played by Brad Pitt as a slight eccentric who is also a good motivator and there would be lots of laughs and hilarity. 🙂

    I’m not sure what you’re going through but I wish you the best and good luck in finding the truth you need.

    • Thanks, Tom. I just get tired of getting vague statements from others. And when I try to ask what it’s supposed to mean, I’m expected to be some kind of mind-reader. “I’m a witch, Jim, not a psychic !” (Sorry, bad Star Trek reference)

      About the Charlie musical? I think it’s in the works… unfortunately.

  2. Honey I am so with you on this! It’s amazing how many people pull this crap. I’m so sick of people (including some in my family) telling me what they think I want to hear. Gaah! I swear that they area so used to fooling themselves that they feel compelled to do it to us too. sigh

    People frequently don’t like dealing with me (including those in medical fields) because I tend to “tell it like it is”. Yeah, I may soften the blow a tad (if they don’t deserve to be blasted) sometimes, but if you don’t want reality go ask someone else.

    I hope that whomever is messing with you realizes how lucky they are to have you in their life … or comes to that realization before you boot them out. *hugs*

    As an aside … and I swear this is true … I was giggling at your Star Trek reference, and not 5 seconds later on a rerun of Family Guy, there was “Dr McCoy” saying “I’m a doctor not a patsy!” Swear to god! 😀

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