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Punday Funnies

This email I received yesterday was simply too good to pass up on sharing, so…

Enjoy!  And THANKS, SARAH!!

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.  He
acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian

3. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.

4. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

5. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

6. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum

7. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

8. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.

10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization

11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
     One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”

14. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at

15. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned

16. A backward poet writes inverse.

17. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

17A.  When cannibals ate a doctor, they got a taste of their own medicine.

18. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Happy Friday!

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