Punday Funnies

This email I received yesterday was simply too good to pass up on sharing, so…

Enjoy!  And THANKS, SARAH!!

PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS [No Groaning]
 
 
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.  He
acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to
be an optical Aleutian

3. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.

4. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

5. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

6. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

7. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

8. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.

10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization

11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
     One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”

14. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.

15. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.

16. A backward poet writes inverse.

17. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

17A.  When cannibals ate a doctor, they got a taste of their own medicine.

18. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Happy Friday!