There are a lot of things about me that people know. I’m pretty open on this blog, and have talked ad nauseum about my childhood and growing up.
But there are also a lot of things people don’t know.
Here’s just a few.
1. I have a fascination with tar. My dad has always hated when people snap and pop gum, and when my brother and I were little, he brought home some fresh tar and let us chew it like gum. I actually got to the point where I liked the taste and feel of it in my teeth. And now, even after all these years, when I smell fresh tar, it takes me back to my childhood, and my dad’s strangeness.
2. I used to pretend all the time. When I had to clean my room or wash dishes, I was Cinderella, when I was up in my favorite tree, I was a bird or fairie, waiting to take flight, when I was on my horse, I was on some long adventure, riding over undiscovered ground. I had a million imaginary friends over the years, and I can still remember them coming over for tea parties, helping me clean, and seeking to rescue me from my tower (at the top floor of our house).
3. I also used to pretend that I was adopted. Not that that’s a strange thing for a lot of kids. I’m sure most kids that had a sibling growing up used to wish at times that they were adopted, or that the other one was, just so they could say “ha! You’re not really my brother, anyway, so there!” I know, of course, that I am my parents’ child, though, in so many ways. It’s frightening, sometimes!
4. I’ve never tried illegal drugs in my life. Not just because they’re illegal, but mainly because I could never let go of enough control of my life, my body, to risk it. I was always afraid I’d be that one case, where I’d freak out, or die from a heart attack the instant I consumed something illicit. But I used to hang out with the kids that did do drugs. And maybe that was one of the reasons why I didn’t. Watching them… wow. Life lesson definitely learned.
5. Continuing on the serious note… there are times when I’m terrified that I’ll never find someone to grow old with. Someone who’ll send me flowers for no reason at all, or who’ll light up just because they see me. I’ve told friends that I know how to be happy alone, but that I don’t want to be alone forever. It’s true. I’m still looking. But there is someone who could be… maybe… possibly… and it’s probably not the one who those of you who know me, think it is. If that convoluted sentence makes any sense, whatsoever.
6. I suck at goodbyes. All types. It’s hard to explain, so I’m not going to. Not today.
7. I have a “blood spot” on my right iris. This is from my brother shoving a rake handle in my eye when I was just a kid, by accident. He cried harder than I did when we went into the house to get Mom’s help.
8. I am still ticklish, but I lie about it to keep people from tickling me all the time. I used to be extremely ticklish, but worked hard on training myself not to react. So now, most people think there’s only one place where I’m ticklish. But that’s just the one spot I can’t help but react to. And no, I’m not going to tell you where, except to say it’s on my back.
9. There are a lot of times where the strange twists of my mind even baffle me. So I simply chuckle to myself, and don’t say what I’m thinking out loud. It’s just too weird.
10. I honestly believe that my grandfather, Merle, is my guardian. I am so utterly entranced by any information I can get about him. Even though I never knew him, my mom barely even knew him, because he died when she was so little, I’m still gripped by an unknown feeling that he’s with me, all the time. I wish I’d known him. But then again, I feel like I do. Somewhere in my heart, I know him very well.
Ok, so enough about me for now. Maybe I’ll do this again, later. We’ll see.
What are some things about you that I don’t know?