Yeah, I know there was no post for “Eighteen”. I’m skipping that because of the blackout for opposition to SOPA/PIPA.
Straight to today.
I mean – really.
The beginning of the year of 2011 saw me in a failing marriage, struggling to figure out where I was going, if it was going to be salvageable. With 2 kids still at home, and 1 semi-grown up, having issues and troubles of her own, it was a festival of drama, trauma, stress and pain.
A couple of months later, saw me divorced, living as a single mom again, and dealing with my EldestDaughter telling me she was pregnant at 20…. just like I had gotten pregnant for the first time at 20…. just like my mother had gotten pregnant for the first time – at 20. History really does repeat itself, hunh?
The summer saw a multitude of things happen, as my city flooded for months on end, many lives were irrevocably changed forever. My own life was changed already by the divorce, but I also started dating again. Friends, family, co-workers, all have at some point come up to me and told me that I’ve changed immensely. I’ve lost weight, starting to feel healthier again; I smile much more often, and I generally just seem “lighter” emotionally, physically, all around, really.
And the end of the year saw changes as well, as I started getting some of my own independence back. Regaining a portion of who I was “before” I let myself get swept away by my ex’s overwhelming attitudes and personality.
And the beginning of 2012 has seen a continuance of that. Little by little, I’m feeling stronger, more sure of myself and the solidity of the footing underneath me. I have started putting my foot down more and more in my own, and my family’s, defense. I’m figuring out more of What I want, Where I want to go with my life, and Who I choose to have surrounding me as I travel this path.
My children are, right now, all back in the roost. And while it’s nice having them all close, I know too, that I’m going to have to schedule times where I get to be alone. I still need that “me time” that so many people talk about. Time to decompress and recharge my emotional batteries. It may be that I actually go off somewhere, by myself, or I may choose to spend it with someone special. Me time doesn’t always have to be “Me Have To Be All Alone” time. It’s just a chosen escape from the constant flow of emotional demands…
My thoughtful moment of the day: You can cram a lot of life into 12 short months. After all, it only takes 9 months to make a new one.