Thoughtful moment of the day: Seeing my ex’s facial expressions showing on my son’s face is not what I want to see first thing in the morning. Or at all, really. But I’m going to have to deal with it as it happens, and remember that OnlySon is not the ex. OnlySon can learn.
A friend of mine told me a while back about seeing her ex’s facial expressions and mannerisms showing up in her boys’ faces occasionally, and how badly that upset her. She had to take a step back, remember that her boys were not her ex, and try to figure out how to keep the ex’s old habits and inherited mannerisms from pushing her buttons through her sons.
And now I’m faced with that as well.
I had a date last night with… (I need to come up with a nickname here for him) the man I’ve been seeing. Dinner and a movie, with some snuggling on the couch thrown in. Got me out of the house, I got to some of that “me time” I talked about yesterday, and I got to spend it with someone who makes me feel good, both about myself and the world in general. Very relaxing, a lot of laughter, and no stress.
OnlySon took offense.
By the time I got home last night, he was in bed, sleeping, so I got to hear all about his feelings on the matter from ED. She hadn’t realized that OnlySon had called me after she sent him to bed.
This morning, I decided he and I needed to have a little “discussion” about who’s the grown-up here.
Watching my ex’s facial expressions slide across his face as he tried to tell me that I “have to check in with him”…. and I told him in no uncertain terms that he had been informed where I was, but that he was in no way going to be the “date monitor”….
Yeah, it pushed buttons for me, and yeah I wanted to tell him to wipe that look off his face – but he can’t help it. He does have some of the same facial expressions as his father. He does look like him, to a certain extent, so he doesn’t have a choice in how his face shapes itself.
He will not be dictating to me when, where, who, how and why. That was something his father tried to do, to control. And I’m not letting a 13 year old boy run the house.
I mean, it’s not like I ran away for the weekend, leaving him home alone with no one but the dog and cats, with no food in the house.
I went on a freaking date, and was home before midnight.