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Just a Touch

This might be a little TMI for some, but I’ve always been able to be open and vulnerable here.  It’s easier to say things from “behind the wizard’s curtain”, than it often is to say these things in real life for me.  A little anonymity goes a long way, I guess.  Things that I stutter and blushingly can’t spit out face-to-face, you’ll often find here, bold and in large print… I’m just a little weird that way. 


My friend, adopted sister, and fellow blogger, Sparrow, wrote the other day about the importance of human touch.

Not necessarily the mind-in-the-gutter, adult-R-rated meaning, just the simple act of touch.

And how important it is to a person’s well-being emotionally and physically.

I’d forgotten how necessary it was until I started dating A.

My ex wasn’t big on PDA.  Having been abused at a young age by babysitters, daycare workers, and growing up the way he did, he really didn’t want people to touch him much at all.  And so he didn’t touch others much, either.  Except for OnlySon, who was almost smothered sometimes, in hugs, hair-rufflings, etc.

And me?  Well, I was never really into the full-blown, get-a-room-wouldja! type of PDA, but I do like need a certain amount of human touch.  Or at least, that’s what I’m re-discovering.

I didn’t realize what I had been missing, how touch-starved I’d been, until A and I really started going out, and suddenly – someone was touching me.  Not because I asked him to, but because he simply wanted to. 

Taking my hand while we watched tv.

Brushing my hair from my face, and tucking it behind my ear.

Tucking my arm in his as we walked from the car to a restaurant.

Plopping his feet up in my lap as we snuggled on the couch, and I rubbed his feet, or me turning him to face away from me, so I can rub his neck and shoulders. (I know you’re laughing, but I like giving massages – so there!  :p) 

Rubbing the back of my neck as we drive from one place to another, or when we’re snuggled on the couch.

Holding my face in his hand.

Just a touch.

It’s a scientifically proven fact that monkeys will die when deprived of touch from a young age, or they’ll go insane.  It’s the same with humans, and babies have suffered from “failure to thrive” because of neglect.

And it’s something that’s totally preventable.  Cured through touch.

Something that simple, and yet, so many people are deprived of it – every day.  It’s no wonder the world’s gone a little insane. 

Luckily, I’m not one of them, not anymore. 


3 thoughts on “Just a Touch

  1. Yes! Isn’t it lovely to have someone reach out and touch you, just because they want to? That small gesture seems insignificant to anyone on the outside, but has such a large impact internally.

  2. My daughter doesn’t like to be touched. I have no idea why. There was no abuse, no smothering, nothing. Almost from the moment she was born, after she finished eating, she wanted to be un-touched. She wanted her chair or a blanket on the floor. As an adult, she cringes and squirms when people touch her. She has a steady boyfriend and I’m guessing he gets to touch her, but no one else does. She’s odd. Then there’s my son…if he could live under my skin he’d be one happy boy.

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