I feel pulled in about a million different directions lately.
There are a lot of things going on, but it’s hard to pin just one of them down long enough to finish what needs to be done.
So I’m slicing and dicing this week. A little here, a little there, and hope I end up with something that resembles a cohesive whole instead of something that ends up being fed to the dog.
I'll take the mess - no problem!
Here’s a little bit of what’s been going on:
*I’m trying to get the house ready for when the grand-baby gets here. We have to clean the basement (which is difficult with Future-Son-In-Law leaving his stuff all over the floor, chairs, tv, tables, couch, etc.) I also need to clean up the spare bedroom down there so we can get EldestDaughter’s and FSIL’s stuff in there. Is it too late to call the reality show that helps people organize their homes and lives? Yeah… I thought so. They’d call it a “fail” anyway, I think.
*Went out with some co-workers on Friday night. It was fun – but I felt too old for the crowd. I think I’m supposed to be having some kind of “mid-life crisis” over this? Well, I’m not. I like hanging out and laughing occasionally, but the party-girl era has passed. I’d rather sit in a quieter restaraunt or bar and be able to actually have a chat with someone than be in a place that’s so crowded that taking a deep breath causes you to get accused of sexual harassment. I no longer remember where the fun is in attempting to stand still in a room jam-packed full of sweaty, drunken people who think screaming at the top of your lungs to be heard is the sign of a “good time”.
*And on that same tangent… I’m tired of people who think I should be on one side of the fence or the other when it comes to being friendly with others.
I can get along with a lot of different types of people, and I don’t have to bad-mouth either side to do it. If others want to play the “my side/their side” game, count me out. I had a friend who was extremely jealous of anyone I spent time with outside of that friendship. Just because I talk to other people and can get along, doesn’t mean I’m any less of a friend. I’m just not getting in the middle of the dispute.
*I want ED home. She’s been away for almost a whole month, and I’m worried that she’s all alone at the end of her pregnancy. There’s supposedly a winter storm coming on the day I’m supposed to be bringing her home, and she’s 2 hours away. I’m praying as hard as I can that the weather holds out until we get her through my front door. Then we can all relax a bit.
*OnlySon and I need to do something together again. I feel like I’ve been neglecting him, even though he’s with his father a lot, and isn’t even home most weekends. We need to do something – baking, book-shopping, something fun. He has been getting along really well with A lately, though. They’ve been talking “dude-stuff”, and OnlySon has been having a blast, giggling so hard he almost has a seizure. I’m so glad they’re getting along – and fear that I’ve created a testosterone monster dynamic in which I end up out-numbered and getting the “It’s a guy thing” speech, complete with the rolling eyes and conspiratorial glances at each other.
*YoungerDaughter is having a rough time with her crush. I’m trying to be as understanding as I can, but I’m truly not comfortable with her contemplating dating this guy. He’s a decade older than her, they’re in completely different stages of their lives, and… did I mention he’s a decade older than her? I know I can’t be hypocritical about this, because my brother and sister-in-law are 12 years apart, but at least they were both adults when they met. YD is still just a teenager. It does make a difference now, even if it won’t in a few years.
*I’m working on trying to get things ready for YD’s graduation in May. There’s so much that has to be done, it’s a daunting task. And, since the divorce, I have to organize it by myself, plus still keep the household running – with the addition of 2 more people (ED and FSIL), and the promise of another one (grand-baby) on the way next month. Daunting, indeed. May is a lot closer than it appears at first glance. I’m feeling a little like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, and wondering what I did with my pocketwatch – and my sanity?
But… as a wise man once said…
Well said, Mr. Bueller… well said.