I – have gone a little bug-nuts.
Ok, so I’m already a little nuts. I’ve just amped up the speed of spin a little, lately, I guess.
I had a good bit of luck this year, in that I got a decent refund from my taxes. And it’s going to enable me to take care of a few things that have been on hold for a long time. My ex was awful at saving money, and in fact used to have the refund already spent long before we ever got it. And it was never on the practical things, like a new window to replace the living room one that had been cracked almost since the year we moved in (2000). Or to repaint, which the house has desperately needed. Or to get new eaves troughs, again, kinda desperately required. Instead, the money was always spent on “toys”. Things he wanted, or thought we “needed”, which ended up being things he would then expect me to figure out and run, and take care of, because he was about as handy as a sack full of broken hammers.
(Gah, I’ve gotta stop talking about the ex, I’m getting tired of re-hashing all that old crap, and need to stop carrying his weight on my back)
I’ve been going a little mad, with some of the extra spending money lying around. I’m still taking care of the bills and everything, so I’ve been indulging in a little bit of long-needed refurbishing.
I got myself a new TV, since the old one was about 40 million pounds of Martian TV, always green, all the time.
I was able to get a second-hand couch in really great shape, to replace one of the old, crappy ones, and got the old one out of the house.
I bought some new large area rugs to cover the floor in the basement bedroom that ED and FSIL are going to be taking over for their own when they move in, since the floor down there is cement. I don’t want to carpet, just in case we end up with ground water seeping in again.
And last night – I bought myself a new rocker-recliner. Brand new, chocolate brown suede. Plush and comfy, it’s yet another symbol to me that I’m regaining my independence and self-confidence. I took YD with me to look and compare, but when it came down to the choice of chairs, it was all me. There was no “discussion” to be had with someone who negatively shot down every reason why I should get what I wanted. There was no mocking of my decision-making process, which basically amounts to “sit in ALL the chairs twice, and pick one” (rather Goldilocks of me, I know, but hey, it’s the only way to get the one that I’m comfortable in!). And once I made my choice, I paid, picked it up, and brought it home.
After a lovely dinner with A, YoungerDaughter and OnlySon, we went back to the house, where A helped get the chair set up just where I wanted it. And, after everybody had a chance to check out the cushyness of the new throne, A bogartted the chair for most of the rest of the night! (It’s alright, if I’d sat in the chair… I’d have been snoring in about 5 minutes – I was ti-red. Better to remain upright on the couch and stay awake!)
So, there have been a few “big-ticket” items, couch, chair, area rugs (more medium-ticket there)… but for the most part, the purchases have been small. Touches and flourishes here and there, to subtly change the feel and “Zen” of the house. Maybe it’s not so “spend-crazy” as I think, when I contemplate the changes. It’s not so much about the Must-to-get-ALL-the-things, but it is more about FINALLY, I get to get the things I want.
I’m taking back my space – by inches, maybe, but each one is mine when I’m done.