Home » depression » Making the List

Making the List

It’s been a while since I’ve made the list.
The priority list.
As in, someone puts me near the top of theirs.

I don’t expect to be first in line in anyone’s life, that’s kind of selfish, I think. And, I know I don’t always make the top of my own list…
I’m a mom, sometimes I have to take the back seat.

Hell, I sit in the back seat so often, the cushion has a permanent imprint in it of my ass.

But, once in a while… I’d like to be someone’s priority.  That, when I am in need- they put me first.

Not sure if I’d know what that felt like, anymore.

I want someone to be willing to put my needs first, even if only for a moment.

I’m tired of being taken for granted. Tired of promises given, only to be broken in the next sentence.
Tired of being only good enough to be someone’s fuckbuddy, and not the other half of an honest-to-Goddess relationship. I want more than just a “sometimes we have sex” friendship.

Ha. I haven’t even had that in almost a year.

I’m tired of waiting to be considered important.

And, I’m almost tired enough to walk away.

If I start walking, I won’t even look back.

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