Home » anxiety » Why I Hate Insomnia

Why I Hate Insomnia

I broke my phone on Thursday.
Dropped it into the sink (no, not full of water), & gave the damn thing an aneurysm.  If I had the headphones plugged in, I could answer calls, but the screen was stone dead.

No making calls, no social media, no blog, no pictures, no texting.

Oh sure, I was able to log into my social media & blog on my laptop, once I got home…

But any texts I had on my phone are looong gone.  None of that saves to the cloud.

So, yesterday, I filed an insurance claim, & my new phone was delivered today.

A trip to the anxiety – ridden & claustrophobically populated mall later, & said replacement was up & running.

3 hours of updating & re-downloading all the apps I had before (nope, still don’t have it all back the way it was), & I’m once more feeling marginally more in control of my life again.

Fast forward to now…why aren’t I sleeping?

Fucked if I know.

All I know, is that my nerves feel scraped raw, I’m on the verge of tears, & I’m pretty sure at least part of this is from having gone more than 24 hours without my phone.

Yes, I have no trouble admitting it.  I depend on my phone.  I don’t have a landline in my house.  I actually thought about everything this little box does for me, & it’s awe-inspiring.

It’s a clock, alarm, phone (derp), address book, calender, shopping list, magazine, television, news source, encyclopedia,  dictionary  (for those spelling emergencies), timer, level (yes, I have a bubble level on my phone, & yes, I’ve used it), flashlight, house alarm system, bank,  radio, diary (like, right now), camera, photo album, instant messenger, TEXTS, blah, blah, blah… in short,  as I told my supervisor on Friday “it is the sum of human knowledge. ..and I DON’T HAVE IT!”

I felt like Gollum wringing his hands & crying about tricksy hobbitses & his precious.

And now, I have my replacement phone.

I should be sleeping.
But anxiety doesn’t work like that.

So, I’m up, & over thinking Every. Damn. Thing.

Aaagh.

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