Home » anxiety » It Could Be Sooner

It Could Be Sooner

I wish I were going in for surgery tomorrow.

Really & truly.

I have only a week left before the “big slice”, but my anxiety is already ramping up, & I can feel a panic attack coming.  I’m working on calming techniques, but, sometimes, they just don’t cut it.

The pain has gotten worse, as well. It’s driving me nuts. I have only had one day this week that I’ve been able to put in a full 8 hours at work, & it’s pissing me off.   As a single mom, it’s my job to keep the roof over our heads, pay the bills, shop the groceries.  And how do you do that, when you can’t put in a full week’s work? 

Blah, blah, blah, whine, mope.

FUCK it.

This surgery could be sooner.  It could be tomorrow, then I’d be getting it behind me that much quicker.

I’m not sure how much fight I have left.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “It Could Be Sooner

  1. You CAN do this! I’d never been in hospital til 4 years ago and was scared shitless and had 13 back discs fused. 3 more ops last year. It helped me so much. Try to look at it as every moment from this moment on is a day towards healing. ❤️ you. Sending you all good energy.

    • Thanks, ld. I know that the surgery will be ok, & that things will get better afterwards. But, of course, my logic & my anxiety have different opinions. I really need to just get this surgery behind me, so I can focus on getting better.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s