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Tabletop Gods

​”This was a lot easier when we could actually do real shit, you know,”

“Yeah, yeah, I know… quit bitching and get over here.”

“Fine. I’m just saying,”

“Well, quit ‘just saying’ and start doing,”

“God, you can’t catch a break anywhere, anymore,”

“Stop with the flattery, neither of us fits that moniker anymore, Zeus, and we need to remember that.”

“Hmpfh, whatever. So, Minnie? What’s the job today?”

“Call me Minnie again, Thunder Jaws, and I’ll have you busted down to de-staticking the cat. My name’s still Minerva. Use it.”

The statuesque brunette glared at Zeus over the top of her clipboard and pointed to the next item on the checklist.

“WHAT? NO! You’ve got to be kidding, right?”

“Nope. It’s your turn, Lightning Boy. Now get to work.”

“Ah, shit. I wish I’d gone fishing with Poseidon and Loki today. At least they can take a joke. But noooo… I’m on ‘Birthday Party Magician’ duty… dammit. What I wouldn’t give for a good old-fashioned virgin sacrifice right about now.” Zeus snapped his fingers and vanished in a flash of static displacement.

Disgusted and fed up with self-important, devolved deities, Minerva, former goddess of wisdom… now approximately 5 inches tall, and still smarter than the rest of those idiots in the display cabinet… whistled the triple-tone signal and waited for Pegasus to pick her up for her lift back to the counter over the kitchen window.

The boss would be home for lunch, soon, and it wouldn’t do to be out of place when she got there

-Jan. 12, 2014

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