After all the times I’ve been left behind, it’s not that hard to walk away.
After all the times I’ve been lied to, it’s not hard to ignore the words.
I’m not quite sure when it happened; maybe when the promises were broken, over, and over, and over.
Maybe when the excuses piled up so high, I couldn’t see over them to the truth, anymore.
Maybe it was when I realized that, no matter what I said, or did, they were all going to walk out and never come back.
Maybe…it was when I realized I was losing a part of myself every time one of them walked out.
Maybe it was the self-blame I poured on myself, thinking that there must be something wrong with me, for them to all treat me as though I didn’t matter. As though my feelings were completely disposable.
Or the self-doubt that haunted me, when I was ghosted, and couldn’t get any answers to my questions as to why.
Maybe, it was when I realized that, if I kept going the way I had been…I was going to lose myself permanently.
So, I had to change a few things.
One of those things?
I can let go, now.
I can walk away, and it won’t hurt, this time.
Because I know it’ll never be what I truly need, what I’m really looking for.
You don’t love me, you never did.
You never will.
So, when the time comes…
I will let you go.
And not look back.