…Last Saturday, I attended a holistic healing & psychic fair with a coworker. I wrote about it in an earlier post to a certain degree, & told you that there was more to the story.
Well…one of the lecture sessions we attended was concerning Past lives & Karma, & how the two things can collide and coincide.
I do believe in reincarnation, let’s just get that out there.
One of the things that this woman spoke about was how… When you reincarnate, you carry over lessons you didn’t learn from previous lives, into the next one, & have to repeat them.
Like summer school.
Oh, I only wish the teacher could be so cool.
Well, I got to thinking about things.
I know that I have things in my life that I need to learn to let go of. There are things that I’ve held onto for so long…and I know, that if I don’t resolve them in this lifetime, I’ll be repeating these lessons in the next.
But, it’s really not going to be easy.
These are very triggering, emotional issues for me. And I don’t know how to just forgive the pain and trauma that was done to me.
One – I have to figure out how to forgive my brother for what he did to me those years ago, when he hurt me so badly. When he declared his little sister dead, & basically destroyed any relationship we had, or ever could have. I don’t know how to forgive that. I really don’t. I know that I can’t let him back into my life as though nothing happened…so how do I forgive?
Two- and this one is the worst…
I have to figure out how to forgive my molester.
I have to stop letting the trauma of that experience affect me, stop allowing him to have any power in my life, & forgive…..
How the fuck do I do that?
I know I have to do both of these things – for myself, not for anyone else. This is for my own spiritual health & emotional well-being…
But I know that I’m raking some hot-burning coals, here.
And it could all go up in flames within minutes.
Yeah, there are other things I also need to figure out – like how I keep going through the same relationship failures, no matter who I seem to be with – they bail on me. But that’s something I’ll either learn or I won’t, & may have to repeat. I’m not as fraught with anxiety right now over that.
The other two – however…those are going to put me under the tires of that Karma bus.
And that Karma bus just keeps right on Rollin….
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