I know I’ve been talking a lot about being depressed, lately. I know it can get to be repetitive, but… That’s what happens with depression cycles.
You cycle, and cycle, and cycle…until something finally brings you out of it.
I’m not there yet.
laughing softly and ironically under my breath…
I just seem to keep getting pulled in by new cycles of dark.
*I recently realized that when my old phone had its “stroke” & I had to get my new one, I lost a good portion of the phone numbers in my address book. One of the numbers was my ex-husband, which I find ironic, but now, if my son is in trouble, I can’t get ahold of the ex to reach him. I don’t really want to ask my son for his number…but I probably should. Fuck.
I didn’t realize I’d lost these numbers until just recently…because I’d isolated myself so well, I don’t receive calls or texts from anyone but family anymore, really. Chosen family counts here.
*I was going to go to a drag show this last weekend, but my mom called with bad family news.
Her baby brother, my Uncle J, has had throat cancer for a while. He went through chemo & radiation, & they thought he’d gone into remission.
Well, it’s now back, and is in another place. He’s back in chemo, but is not doing as well this time around.
On top of that, his son, my cousin C, also has cancer. He has a very rare, and virulent, form of lung cancer.
They live in Iowa, and are treating in Rochester, which is an exemplary facility…
But, according to Mom, C has ONE CHANCE at treatment. If this treatment doesn’t work…
Folks…he’s only 31.
My uncle and my cousin.
Father and son…both dealing with life-threatening diseases.
Where is the fucking sunshine again?