Exit Strategy

Graduation approaches swiftly, & I’m heavily in planning mode.

OnlySon has his cap & gown, & is eagerly awaiting the day he can kick high school to the curb.

He has requested Texas chocolate cake (a much-beloved recipe of our family’s) for his graduation party, which will be held at my house after the ceremony.

And…it’s going to be a joint party for my son…with his father, my ex-husband.

I know the ex really only wants to do a joint party because he doesn’t want to be bothered with having to plan a party, buy the supplies, host the damned thing, clean up afterwards, yadda, yadda, yadda… It’s always been his MO, to make me do all the work when it came to this sort of thing, while taking a share of the credit. Asshat. 

He says he’s bringing a second cake (he works as a baker at a grocery store here in town, so OnlySon requesting a homemade scratch recipe has wounded his pride, I’m sure), but I know his family… I’m making 2 of my cakes, just to make sure there’s some left for my family.

All the while, my anxiety has me in heavy emergency exit-strategy mode.


How do you get away from someone when they’re at your home? And they bring their family with them? Their very loud, very confrontational, very Greek, family? (If you’re picturing My Big Fat Greek Wedding in your head…Yep, you’re seeing the right people).

If anyone gets up in my face, I’m going to have a tough time holding my cool.  I will try, for my son’s sake…

But, as I’m passing out pieces of cake, I might be tempted…

Guilty? Pleasure

Weekends are usually quiet for me, anymore. I don’t go out, unless it’s to Hellmart for groceries, & I don’t spend a lot of time on the phone. 

Well, not talking to others, anyway.

I did spend a lot of time with my phone this weekend…reading.

I’ve become quite addicted to my Kindle app.

*Gasp! Horror! Blasphemy!*

No, seriously.

I feel as though I’ve let my book-loving nerdy side down by reading books on my phone.

But I can’t stop. 

I think I burned up my battery 10 times this weekend, tearing through a whole series of digital books.

Yes, I still love read honest-to-goddess real paper books. 

But, I’m now paying for Kindle Unlimited….

And I’m not ashamed.

Well… Not really.

(For you, Youngerdaughter)

The Newest Little Monkey

Ok, so I’m a little behind with this post, but it’s not my fault.


I have a new grandson.

Everybody say hi to Maxwell!

His Mama (EldestDaughter) calls him “Monkey”, because she says he gets this little wrinkle in his forehead when he’s thinking really hard, or confused, or working on his next magnum opus, that makes him look like a baby monkey.

He was born 2/12/2017 in Washington state, where ED is now living with her SO & Schnicklefritz.

And I didn’t get to be there.


But, he’s healthy, happy, & adjusting to life on the outside, according to all accounts, which is all I can ask for.

I DO get to see them all when they’ll come home for OnlySon’s graduation in May.

*BIG YAY & high five!*

So, for now, I have to survive without baby snuggles & will live vicariously through texted pictures & a recently set up weekly Skype date.

And, I’ll have to revamp my ABCs I wrote when Schnicklefritz was born, & tailor some much-needed “Gramma wisdom” for this newest addition to the zoo.

*I feel a challenge coming on*

For now, here’s some pictures I’ve wheedled out of my daughter!

Who is this person holding me? A brother, you say? Ok, I’ll start working on my “little brother pestering” skill set now.

Here’s this “big brother” person again… Are you sure he needed to follow us home, Mom?  Well, at least he seems to like me somewhat, so maybe this could work.

You know, I’m not too sure about this whole “being outside” thing, Mom & Dad…couldn’t I have just stayed where I was? I was kinda comfy there.

No snark…just awwwwwwwwwe…


I wanna snuggle him!

Lunchtime Laughter

My Onlyson’s cat, Chloe, provided me with a much-welcomed dose of laughter today at lunch.

As I was preparing my lunch, our 2 cats came into the kitchen. They always seem to think that they have to eat when I do, so as I’m getting out my food & utensils, Chloe attempts to jump up on the counter where their food is. (Separate from my food counter, thanks)

I say “attempted”, because she failed, spectacularly. Here’s the set up:

Lidded garbage can sits in front of litter box, & both are next to the counter. Cat usually jumps from floor to garbage can, then to counter.

Cat fails to get all 4 paws on counter  at conclusion of second jump.

Cat scrabbles at counter, desperately holding on for feline life, even with front claws, cannot maintain grip.

Cat falls ass-first into litter box.

Human stands, watching, & general hilarity ensues.

The look of sheer horror on Chloe’s face as she slid closer & closer to falling completely was hilarious.

The face of utter disgust & humiliation on her face when her tush hit the litter (and the clumps kept within the box) was PRICELESS.

Immediate feline exit stage right.

Of course, a couple of minutes later, she thinks I’ve forgotten all about her debacle, so comes back to the kitchen to try again. This time she jumps directly from floor to counter, bypassing the offending garbage can she blames for her earlier failure.

I didn’t forget.  I just wanted a picture…

Now she hates me, too.

Witnesses die in their sleep all the time, right?

Anyone want a humiliated cat?

It’s That Time Again

The full moon is right around the corner.

Know how I know?

Stuff keeps going missing.

Little things, like my fingernail clipper, and my ear buds for my phone, a small ziploc baggie of hematite rings, & a stretchy headband I wear when I work out.

Now, I know I’ll find these things sooner or later, tucked under a chair, or peeking out from under one of the blankets on my bed, or maybe when I move the couch to mop this weekend.

And how do I know this?

Take a close look…

Those are teeth marks on that emery board.

Every month, right around the full moon, this happens.

The culprit?

Yes, Sally Jane. You. Don’t try to pawn me off with that “Who me?” look.


Dirty Fingernails

I…do not have a green thumb.

They’re more of a washed-out khaki color, with tiny, green, oddly-shaped spots. 

I’ve tried the houseplant route, but I have cats. Cats are jerks, especially when it comes to houseplants. At least mine are, when they dig in the pot’s dirt and scatter it over the countertops. And they’re murderous asshats when they take a perfectly good aloe vera & turn it into a multi-holed sprinkler hose. And don’t even think about having flowers for long, as they make a tasty treat that is also a handy place for that loose fur that brushes neatly off as the cats use the petals as their back brush.

I’ve had some small successes, however.

My pumpkins are blooming!

This is the first year I’m trying this variety, which is called “Pink Peanut”, and I planted them in a raised flowerbed in front of my house, so I’m surprised & pleased that they’re doing as well as they are.

I also have a flowerbed lining my driveway.

The “weedy” looking stuff to the left is actually wild flax, which blooms in the morning, & loses its petals in the afternoon. The purple stuff is echinacea, otherwise known as purple coneflower. There are tulips in there, too, but they bloom in late May, so are hidden again for the year.

But…sadly, my skills seem to be limited to gourds & wildflowers, as here’s my other flowerbed, in which I planted my Forever Susan lilies. They did great this year, but the rest of what I tried to grow…well… Take a look.

Mostly baby weeds, and 2 – mind you, 2 little lettuce plants. *sigh* I seeded the whole rest of the flowerbed with leaf lettuce, and – alas. Not a salad in sight.

So, maybe I should try seeding this flowerbed with dandelions & call it good.

After all, you can eat the leaves in salad. And I’ve already proven I can grow weeds!

Lovely Bloggers

Guess what?

VP over at Viper Pit Memoirs gave me an award! Wow! Thank you so much, it truly does mean a lot to me. Dear readers, if you’ve ever struggled with family, head over to the Viper Pit Memoirs. She writes about her own survival, & the difficulties of dealing with genetically-related bipeds who can’t seem to human.

I’ve received awards before, but it’s been a looong time, and I’d actually kind of forgotten I’d posted them on the side of the front page, because most of the blogging comes to you live from my phone, while I’m sitting in my easy chair, or on my front porch.

So, Ok, there are some rules, of course, to receiving awards, and here they are for this one:

Umm, facts… Oy vey… After blogging for over 6 years now, and quite in-depth, sometimes, I’m going to have to really dig for these!

1. I recently (within the last year) discovered that I love Bollywood movies. The music, the singing & dancing, a lot of up-beat stories, even if they have drama & sadness, they find a way to inject humor into almost everything. And, I’m slightly obsessed with Hrithik Roshan now… After all, who wouldn’t be? Look…

C’mon… Admit it. You just picked your jaw up and wiped the drool off. (Wanna see more? Check out “Bang Bang!” On Netflix. Just do it. It’s worth the subtitles. The man can dance -ohmahgawd can he dance.

2. I’ve been thinking about writing a book of flash fiction/short stories. Nothing super ambitious, mind you, because I know how flooded the market is with all the digital printing. I kind of just want to see if I could pull it off & actually finish the project. I’m good at starts, not so much at ends.

3. I like baking, but I don’t really like cooking all that much. I’d rather slap together an easy meal, & save my time in the kitchen for all the sweet stuff.  Not that I need it…danggit. Texas chocolate cake, soft Nestle’ Tollhouse cookies (the secret’s in how much flour!), snickerdoodles, pumpkin pie, chocolate pudding cake, these are my specialties, but I can bake just about anything.

4. I really miss having horses & being able to ride whenever I want. I grew up with them, & some of my favorite memories are with horses. 

I was really good at gaining the trust of horses who didn’t like anyone. I miss it. A lot.

5. I speed read books. No, really. I actually took a test, and I can read at 1,500/wpm and retain meaning. That’s a lot of words. Plus side? It really helps me at my job, which requires fast reading & typing. Drawbacks? Books don’t last me very long on the first read. Every book I own, I’ve read at least 3 times…some as many as a dozen times or more. There’s only 1 book I own that I haven’t read cover to cover, & that’s the one I had a photograph published in.

The book

The photograph.

(It’s a college-level architecture book, and I’m just not that into architecture)

6. I get “word vomit” when I get nervous. Which gets me into embarrassing situations. I really need to carry a roll of duct tape in my purse for these moments, & just slap some on when I feel it coming on. Seriously.
So many times.

7. My Etsy shop might not have a lot of sales under its belt, but it doesn’t matter to me. I make my crafts because they bring me happiness. And I focus totally on them while I’m doing it. It shuts my million-miles-a-minute, anxiety-ridden brain down for a little while, and the peace is totally worth the sticky hands & paint permanently stuck to my t-shirts.

Now, for the nominees…*drum roll*

(In no particular order)

The Other Side of Counting to Ten, make sure to read all the “Shoe” posts! I guarantee, they’re not what you’d think at first glance!

life vivified a relative newcomer to the blogging world, but heartfelt & funny.

*Sparrow’s Ramblings – a personal friend in real life, a great woman with scads of sarcastic & witty humor.

*la vie en rose – never afraid to tell the truth as she sees it, will smack you up side the head with sensibility

*Depression is the Enemy – working issues with positive energy, and helpful information about thriving while living with mental illnesses.

*How Many Masks – A survivor who understands about the safety of emotional masks, & how we can be healthier by taking them off sometimes.

There are so many more blogs I love visiting, but many I also know don’t “do awards”, or would prefer to not receive them for their own reasons. However, if you glance at the right side of my blog’s page from a laptop, you’ll see my blog roll there – a good list of some of the places I enjoy lurking. Check them out!

*caveat* this post took me quite a bit of  time to write… I never realized how long it takes to gather all the necessary links by using your phone to play hopscotch all over the internet! 

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming!