Dream Interpretation – The Marten

Most of the time, I don’t remember much about my dreams. Flashes, impressions, feelings, maybe a short “flash fiction” style scene, is usually all I carry into my waking day.

But, once in a while, I’ll have a dream so vivid, so full of senses, that I not only remember it when I wake up, I carry it around in my head for days, until I figure out what it means for me.

(This happened shortly before Xmas, too, & the dream then led me to email the Dragon, which is another story entirely)

Anyway, the dream I had just a couple nights ago, was just as vivid & full of sensory detail, & I’ve been mulling it over inside my head ever since.

In the dream, I was told by someone that “the marten you saved is inside the barn, you should check on it”.

Which to me was a confusing statement in & of itself, because I don’t think about martens much, & haven’t ever seen one, except in pictures. What is a Marten, you ask?

Not something that would have registered in my waking mind as something important, as they aren’t native to ND, where I live, so I wasn’t sure, in the dream, why the person who told me this was so specific as to the kind of creature.

So, I went into the barn, & to the stall where this little critter was curled in a great pile of fresh straw, almost sleeping, & seemingly, very relaxed.

But, as soon as I crouched down near it, it jumped up, very excited, & rushed over to me, crawling up into my arms, nuzzling me, & chittering at me quite animatedly.

I just sat there, holding this warm, vibrating furry creature, & felt totally at peace, as though it were perfectly natural to have a wild animal, related to wolverines, badgers & weasels, snuggled in my arms like a house cat.

And then I woke up.

I did some research on martens, just to satisfy my curiosity about this unexpected dream, & in reading about martens as a totem animal, came upon some surprising information that sounded completely familiar & made me laugh at myself.

Taken quotes from Spirit Animal Personalities on blogspot

SOCIAL OVERVIEW:

♦ Introverted, independent
♦ Not manipulative of people
♦ Reputation as a bit of a quiet hermit
♦ Don’t make new friends easily or often
♦ Social activity can be stressful, awkward
♦ Reserved and reclusive, but playful around friends
♦ Uninterested in people and in opening up to people
♦ Do not recognise or place themselves within social hierarchies
♦ Make for non-commital but non-judgemental and truthful friends

INTELLECTUAL OVERVIEW

♦ Very inquisitive
♦ Not perfectionists
♦ Tend to procrastinate
♦ Likes to keep options open
♦ Healthy amount of cautious
♦ Always prefer to work alone
♦ Seem disorganised and easy-going
♦ Do not function well under a spotlight

EMOTIONAL OVERVIEW:

♦ Conflict avoidant
♦ Emotionally guarded
♦ Clear comfort zones
♦ Sometimes insensitive
♦ Capable of being vicious
♦ Often passive-aggrepeople

PERSONAL OVERVIEW:

♦ Adaptable
♦ Terrtorial and private
♦ Protective of things and ideas, not people

And while I agree completely with most of these traits, & see them very clearly inside myself, I don’t agree with the part about me being non-commital towards people, & not being protective of friends.

I am fiercely devoted to the people I care about, & will defend &/or protect them with all I have in me. This includes blood family And Chosen Family. 

I’m actually better at protecting & defending others than myself. Just ask my kids, or even better, my Nephew – he who knows all the nitty gritty.  I suck at backing myself up, & will usually be the first to take blame or lay guilt on myself in any situation.

So! *briskly rubbing my hands together*

What does this dream mean for me? Well, I’ve taken it to mean that I have a new totem animal, the marten, & I need to explore this some more. I’ve already been exploring my introvert nature, & I’ve been working on accepting it, instead of treating it as though it was a problem or deficit of character.

I think this is the next logical step, really, & look forward to learning more. 

I already feel there is another Goddess/God calling me as well.  Kwan Yin will always be my Boddhisatva, but she knows I have more room in my heart for love & devotion. Love multiplies itself & expands the boundaries of the heart to encompass all. That’s the main lesson She taught me.

I’m ready to learn more.

Bring on the Dreams.

Friday Filosophy.2 10/29/10

So in my own “Gemini-split-personality” way, I’ve split this holiday into two distinct and separate things.

Halloween, as I’ve already explained is more about the kids, the costumes, the candy.

Samhain, however, is more about the unseen, the unexplained.

I was asked this year if I was going to be doing a public ritual to celebrate the holiday.  I told the ones asking that I keep Samhain as a “family” night, and that it is a private celebration.  I normally do the “kids, kandy and kostume” thing early on in the evening, but once that is over, and the kids are all tucked safely in their beds, this is when the real Spirit of Samhain takes over for me.

Samhain is, for me, a quiet celebration.  It’s a night when the veil between the worlds is so thin, that you can almost, but not quite, see through to the other side.  Spirits of loved ones passed over can cross back and share space with you, sometimes talking, sometimes simply being together again. 

It’s a time to sit in the dark, in the quiet stillness, and gaze into the flickering candlelight, letting yourself go, stretching your spirit out, communing with the Goddess and God.  It’s a turning point on the Wheel of the Year, signaling a return to darkness and introspection.

It’s a night to take stock of what you’ve accomplished over the year, “count the harvest”, so to speak, and prepare for the winter to come.  Time to plan, to accomplish that which can be accomplished, to set aside that which must wait, and to dream of what can be.

And it’s a time to be silent.  As though Nature holds its breath, just for a moment, and all is suspended, poised for the Wheel to begin turning again, when dawn breaks.

Paranormal Activities – Act 2

So, we had a resident ghost when we moved in.  I told OtherHalf about what had happened, and he was skeptical.  This didn’t bother me at all, as he and I have agreed to disagree on many subjects, not just the paranormal.  He has had his own inexplicable experiences, but chooses not to pursue explanations for them.  His choice. 

I choose to believe. 

I don’t scare easily, either.  Sure, the suddenness of the experience startled me, but it didn’t put me off in the slightest.  On the contrary, I was intrigued.  I set out to make contact, figure out why D had decided to speak to me, what was keeping him here, as much information as I could get.

I read as much as I could (which was actually very little), mostly just the obituaries that had been posted in the local newspaper.  I also talked to the one neighbor that had quite a lot to say about the couple that had lived in the house.  They were a very loving couple, the neighbor told me.  Very devoted to one another, and when D had passed, his wife had gone into a severe decline.  This caused the one daughter to check in with her every couple of days, even though she lived out of state at the time.  When she hadn’t heard from her mother for a few days, and couldn’t get an answer from the phone, she’d called the local emergency services, who had battered the door down, only to find the lady in question on the living room floor, passed on.  From what the neighbor told me, she had simply given up. 

All this led me to believe that D had “stayed on” in the house, watching over his love.  Everything I’d learned about hauntings up to this point told me that when there’s a spirit in a house, it’s usually because there’s something holding them there.  Someone that doesn’t want to let go, can’t let go, of the person that has passed.  It “binds” the spirit of that person to the place, and only by letting them go, by giving them “permission” to leave, do they actually move on.

I didn’t think D knew that his love had also passed over, so he saw us as interlopers.  Trespassers that didn’t belong.

Over the next few weeks, I did have those feelings like someone was watching us, and I decided that it wasn’t fair that he felt he had to stay on this side of the veil.  He belonged with his love, and should be “allowed” to go.  I chose a night to talk to him. 

There were no special trappings, no candles or incense.  It was just me, talking softly.  I sat down in the basement, (his chosen space, as he had a “workroom” set up down there for tools and such) and told him calmly this:

“D, first, you are welcome to stay if you really feel like it.  I know that you don’t mean anyone here any harm.  But, your wife has passed over to your side.  She is not here any longer.  I appreciate that this was your home.  You raised your children here, and you and your wife spent many happy years here.  We are going to take good care of the house, and we are going to raise our children here as well.  If you want to stay, or just to check in once in a while, you are welcome to.  But you really should look on your side for your love.  She’s there now.”

There were nights after that when I would be sitting on the computer in the basement, and I’d suddenly feel hands on my shoulders.  I’d turn, expecting my OtherHalf, but there was no one there.  I’d hear someone speak softly and low, “How’s it going?”  And I’d know it was him.  I’d tell him everything was fine, and it would be quiet again.  I’d see a tall, thin shadow of a person on the far wall, or walking down the upstairs hall, and know that he was “checking in”. 

And, about a year after we moved in, almost exactly on the anniversary date when we first moved in, it all stopped. 

We’ve had other occurrences in the house, small things, and the girls will tell me “We have a visitor”, but nothing like that first year.  And every year, I tell the spirits “You’re welcome to check in, as long as you play nice.  You mess with anyone here, though?  You’ve got to deal with me.”

‘Cause you don’t mess with the head witch.