D.F.W.M.

I’m usually a pretty easy going person.

I try to get along, not cause drama, and if there is drama, not make it worse.

Of course, I have drama in my life sometimes, you can’t totally get away from it.  And when this happens, I normally will hole up till it’s over, or try to work around it, mediate it, or….

I simply put on my alter-ego… Tawanda…

And shut it the hell down.

I had a moment like that yesterday.  And Tawanda was only too happy to make an appearance.

You see, a few years ago, a friend (name withheld because of privacy) and I started a group.  It was a Pagan group, designed to allow people in my area to have a place to meet, greet and get together, without being afraid to talk about things that many non-Pagans wouldn’t necessarily understand, or would think were just downright “weird”.  It wasn’t meant to be a “coven” of any sort, no real structure, and no real rules other than “Play nice”. 

The word “Independent” is stated very clearly, right in the middle of the group’s name, to let people know that this wasn’t just for people looking to belong to a coven, but to those who choose to also celebrate, practice, and simply live, in their own particular way.  No obligations to attend any meetings or functions, no dues, no feelings of guilt if you couldn’t make it, or just plain didn’t want to.  It was meant to be friendly get-togethers and sharing things that  we have in common.  Or learning about how people do things differently.  Whatever.

Just this last year, when Facebook introduced the idea of “Groups” on their site, I figured that this was a good way to allow our bunch of rebels and rabble-rousers a place on the social network to meet and hang out.  So I set one up for this particular and peculiar band of “Independent Pagans”.

Basically meant to be an internet “cork board”, I wanted to give the community a place to hang their conical hats, meet others who hadn’t been able to come to the picnics and get-togethers we’d had in the past, post new get-togethers for all to see, and just generally hang out with like-minded people.  It was never intended to be anything more than that.

Until yesterday, when someone decided that the group needed a “mission statement”.

Well, I thought I’d spelled it out pretty clearly, right in the description of the group:

“A place for pagans in the area to network, post events, chat with other pagans, and have fun!”

Simple, to the point.  Just the way I wanted to get started.  Then, this person decided that they were going to not only put forth this mission statement… they were going to tack the name of MY group on it.  Rather like ripping my baby from my arms and calling it theirs, telling everyone that it was going to grow up to be just like them.

Ahem.

Remember me?

The person who created the group in the first place?

Yeah. 

When I read the initial posting, I had to hold myself back from immediately ripping this person a new orifice.  I was on my lunch break, and knew that, for as mad as I was at the time, it wouldn’t be pretty, or polite.  It would be downright nasty.

So I kept mum until after work.  In the meantime, the friend who helped me start this group went on and posted a query as to the other person’s intent.  And got a snarky remark back.

Game on.

I was polite.

I was tactful.

And I was also very, very…. honest.

Some might call it  – blunt.

I saved the actually angry stuff for my own personal page.  Basically saying “Don’t F*** With Me”.  I have a reputation, you see, that when someone pushes me?  I push back.  And I don’t back down.

A brief apologetic post followed a couple of hours later from this person.

Nuff said.

Play nice, kiddies…

Tawanda out.

A Moment of Time- the ‘Versary

A little over a year ago, I posted a philosophical question on Facebook, and a possible answer that I’d found.  It was a late-night meandering of my brain, and I was thinking out loud – or at least, virtually.

A little over a year ago, I received a private message via FB that changed the way I live my life.  A family member took offense at my musings on my own FB page, and wrote me a scathing e-mail, basically ruining any future chance we had or have for any kind of familial relationship.

So, a little over a year ago, I started a “web journal” for my thoughts.  It started out just for me, over on another blogging site.  I wasn’t happy with the mechanics of their web tools, though.  So, when I discovered that one of my favorite authors, Kim Harrison, uses WordPress, I flipped my blog over here.

And exactly one year ago today, I posted my first post.  Basically the same thing that I’d posted to Facebook that cold November night, but expanded slightly, just because I could.

Here, I found that I could say whatever I liked, and not have to deal with hatemail.  It was the wonder of not just anonymity, but of feeling like the people that were out here, in this vast place known as the “blogosphere” with me, were doing the same thing.  Live and let live is, for the most part, the motto here.  You do you, I’ll do me, and we’ll all get along just fine.  If  you liked it, post a reply, send a smiley – and if you didn’t?  Well, click away, and there were a million more blogs to read that had nothing whatsoever to do with me. 

Shouting into the darkness, I found that there were people out there that not only shouted back, but that actually stuck around to read more.  I found people that, while they had their own things going on, were willing to help me get through what I had to say.  And I was able to help them, as well, sometimes. 

In this last year, I’ve laughed more, cried more, made so many new wonderful friends, and reconnected with old friends I thought possibly lost to time.  I’ve been able to drag my memories up out of the darkness, and wipe the dust from them, seeing them clearer than I have in a long time, helping me to deal with some of the darker ones, and laugh or cry again at the good ones.

I can never really express the depth of what I’ve gained from this experience.  It has been an amazing year, and I’m still stunned by it.  I went from being giddy that 1 person had checked into my page in a week, to constant amazement at the numbers of people that stop by, on a regular basis, and have simply fit themselves into my day. 

There are people now, that I’ve never met face to face, but I hate the thought of not checking in with them – every day.  I read about their lives, they read about mine.  We laugh and cry together.  We get angry and promise to back one another up in a fight.  We have mutual admiration societies, and flash mobs when one of our group goes to a new place, posts a guest post on someone’s blog, or needs people to click somewhere to help them out.  We all rush in droves to click happily away, supporting each other, standing by one another.

Chosen family. 

Those 2 words have popped up a lot in the last year, and will continue to be a part of my life now.  There are no ties of blood, no obligation to do these things, or help one another.  Nothing that binds us, but our own desire to be there for them.

And, going back to my original post on faith vs. logic?  There’s no logic I can point to, no concrete evidence I can dig up, that tells me why this has worked, and done so well for me.  But I have Faith that it is what was meant.  I needed this, one year ago.  I had no idea how it would turn out when I clicked that button telling me to “Get your own blog!”, but I needed it.  And I have Faith that I did the right thing that day, 1 year ago.

I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.  Thank you WordPress, for an amazing year.

Brightest blessings~ Brea

P.S.  I had to add, just as I was finishing this post, and publishing it, a friend RebelRegan popped in and dropped a gorgeous new header in my lap for the blog!  The serendipity and synchronicity of this is wonderful!  Thanks, my friend!