A Song, A Moment, A Card, and A Smile

Or otherwise known as Valentine’s Day – Perfect Day, Apocalypse, or both?

I had a pretty good start on yesterday.  I got surprise flowers from my OtherHalf, had a pretty good day at work, got flowers for my girls, and a gift of kisses (Hershey’s, since I’m no longer allowed to kiss him in public) for OnlySon. 

For some reason?  I didn’t eat supper.  Maybe that’s where I went wrong.  I’m hypoglycemic, so when my blood sugar drops, I get all shaky, weepy, and off-balance.  I’m not sure, but that could have been part of the problem of what came next.  Obviously, my brain was not working at full capacity.

YoungerDaughter worked after school today.  She works as a dietary aid at the local hospital, and I pick her up on school nights, as she doesn’t have a car.  So, when the time rolled around to go after her, I drove up and parked in the parking lot at the hospital and waited. 

My mp3 was playing, and I was fussing with my phone, when Linkin Park’s “Leave Out All the Rest” came on.  I’ve been obsessed with this band lately, and have almost all their songs on my mp3.  But I should have known better with this one song. 

This song is the strongest trigger for me as far as my friend Midnite is concerned.  It reminds me so strongly of things that she said to me over the years that I knew her, that it almost seems as though she’s saying them to my face whenever I hear it.  I thought I could make it through the song, now that it’s been almost 2 years since she passed away.

Well, I made it through the song, but not much further.  After it was over, I realized that I was sitting in the parking lot of the hospital where she passed away, and that was the pull on the trigger.  I had a moment.

A “Moment” is a code word that Midnite’s son, my nephew, and I use to signal that we’d been thinking about her, and were “temporarily emotionally indisposed” .

While this was going on, I was also talking with another friend, Sparrow, who had noticed a post I’d put up on FB about my moment, and how stupid I was to pull this emotional trigger on myself.  She’d immediately checked on me, making sure that I was alright.  She was one of the people that helped me make it through the aftermath of Midnite’s passing, and she’s always been just that thoughtful and amazing. 

Moving on.

YoungerDaughter finally finished work, and we drove home, where I found something lurking in my mailbox:

A lovely card from a lovely friend.

Just the sight of that bright pink envelope made me smile, before I even opened it, because I knew that whatever was contained within, it came from one of the kindest hearts I’ve had the pleasure to get to know in this last year.  And they would be good words.  Happy, heartfelt, make-you-smile words.

And I was right. 

Thanks, Lil k!  Just what I needed, just when I needed it most.

Seems like this is becoming quite the trend with my blogging family – Thanks, my friends, for turning the night back around to love.  Blog-family style.

True Confessions

So, I’m pretty much out of go-juice right now.  The snot monster has won, taken my brains hostage, and I am having trouble stringing useable sentences together.

Don’t ask me to comprehend….. please? 

So, it’s time to play True Confessions:

1.  I have never seen Rocky Horror Picture Show all the way through.  I get the campiness, I love Tim Curry, but every time it comes on, I start to fidget – and find something else to do to distract me.  Maybe it’s Meatloaf’s fault?

2.  I cry at stupid things – like songs.  Katy Perry’s “Firework” gets to me, almost every time.  As well as Linkin Park’s “Leave Out All The Rest”, and Queen’s “The Days of Our Lives”.  There are others, but those are the man ones.  Don’t ask why, didn’t I say I can’t brain today?  Obviously, since I’m spilling all my embarrassing secrets… 😦

3.  I hate doing things just because people all clamor to do them, or see them.  If there’s a meme out there going, and I see that everyone is doing it – I won’t.  I just won’t.  I’ve successfully avoided ever seeing the Old Spice dude in the shower.  I hate reposting those “If you have a husband/brother/sister/child that you absolutely love/hate/loathe/are proud of then REPOST THIS LIKE A MILLION FRICKIN TIMES, OR OBVIOUSLY YOU DON’T LOVE YOUR LOVED ONE.”

You want to bet?  I just don’t like following the herd, and I hate having people tell me what to do when, especially on social media networks.  If I feel like posting something, then I’ll damn well do it my own way – when I’m good and ready.

4.  I was a holy terror as a kid – or so I’m told.  I was a snot to my best friend’s cousin when I was little, growing up in Iowa.  I think it was mostly because I was jealous. *shrug*  I apologized when she told me about it years later – but to this day, I still don’t remember telling her that she couldn’t play Barbies with us.

And one more, just to round out the list for today: (and because I can’t think of anything else)

5.   I get really uncomfortable when people compliment me – for anything.  I don’t know why, not really.  Probably something to do with my childhood. *shrug*  I never really know what to say when someone says something nice to me.  I usually go for a “Thanks, but…” and say something self-deprecating to make myself feel better about the compliment. Ok, that didn’t come out right… but the truth is in there, somewhere.  So if my responses to anyone’s nice words came out sounding lame, I’m sorry, I just really have trouble taking compliments.  I love you for saying them, I just have self-esteem issues.  Please, don’t think I don’t mean the Thank you.  I sincerely do. 

Ok, so enough for the True Confessions!  Ack.  Time to take something for this fever and hallucination, and think about what I’m going to write for the blog tomorrow…..