No Lightning…But Kinda Pissed

First off – let me say that most of today was just fine. That’s why I’m only kinda pissed.

I went to my hometown during the all-school reunion festivities today, & made my first stop my parent’s house. Because, of course, I did! I’m a good daughter!

Dad was out of town, so it was just Mom and me, & we ended up wandering the town to look for Dwight Knuth, the gentleman who wrote his autobiography, & featured one of my blog posts in it. We met up with him at the school, & talked to him for a bit. It was really, very nice & he had to have a hug from us both when we parted.

Then.

We went in search of the shadow box my dad built for the school which holds my sculpture of Horton & the book, Horton Hatches an Egg, which I mentioned features my hometown in it.

See the teeny little plaque at the bottom?

Know what it says?

“Donated by the Class of 2015”.

#&#%@$@%$+$+%((#!@!!?#-#-@!

WHAT!?!

Nothing, and I repeat…Nothing about how my DAD built that wooden box FROM SCRATCH… Nothing about how a member of the Class of 1988 created the sculpture.

Nothing about the hours of time it took my dad to handcraft each piece of this shadow box. The measuring, sanding, staining -painstaking work that he put into this piece, making sure that each shelf fit perfectly into the enclosure, and would hold up over the years. 

This is not a “company-made” piece…this is a hand made, one-of-a-kind piece of artwork. 

But no one knows that, because my dad is too humble to ever push himself forward in that manner. He’ll never tell anyone about the work he put into it.

Just that the Class of 2015 Donated it.

Ungrateful little shits.

Pisses me right the hell off.

Did I get a thank you?

From my Dad, yes.

From the Class of 2015? I got fuck all.

Anyway…

After that, Mom & I blew that popsicle stand & went downtown to have lunch, retreating back to their place afterwards.

I did stick around long enough to hit the “street dance” too… (Nobody was really dancing, more like milling around the street, drinking & listening to a band play really loudly)

I did end up running into some classmates, & had fun talking to them, catching up with where they are, what they’ve been doing, how old we’re all feeling anymore…

And before I knew it, it was almost 11pm, & I had to get the hell out of Dodge. I hate driving the highways so late at night, after hitting a deer a few years back – it makes you a bit jumpy & skittish while driving alone.

So, I’m home, safe. I didn’t smite the town with lightning…although I’d like to smack some little ungrateful wretches from the Class of 2015…

And I scored some homemade strawberry jam out of Mom’s freezer…so…definite win.

So, no lightning, but still kinda pissed.

Going Back…

This weekend I’m taking a little trip down memory lane. Just a small jaunt, mind you.

You see…

My high school is having their 100-year anniversary this weekend, so it’s supposed to be some kind of big blowout weekend all-school reunion.

(Blink too long driving down the highway, and you’ve missed it…I don’t think it’s a whole lot bigger than this photo above suggests)

I’m not going to make a weekend out of it, but I am going to stop in and take a gander at a couple of things that interest me.

First and foremost… There is going to be a gentleman there who wrote an autobiography about his life, part of which took place in my hometown, so he’s going to be signing books at the city hall for part of the time. He used my blog post about Dr. Hordinsky in his book, so I’d like to meet him, face to face, and shake his hand. Talk to him a little & let him know that I did actually read his book and enjoyed it, even the stuff I didn’t write!

I’d also like to stop in at the school & see the shadow box my dad built that now houses one of my sculptures. He asked me to make him a sculpture of Horton the Elephant to go with a copy of the Dr. Seuss book, Horton Hatches an Egg, which has the name of my hometown in it. 

Here’s the sculpture, but I’d like a picture of the finished product!

So, this shindig kicks off on Friday…but, that’s the busiest day of the month for my business, & we’re going to swamped that day, so there’s zero chance of getting that day off. Plus, by the time I get off work…I’m going to be completely brain-fried…

So, I’m going down on Saturday. I figure that’ll give me time to see what I want to see, do what I want to do, and skedaddle out of there before any shenanigans get too crazy. 

…I…don’t have a lot of really fond memories from high school. It was pretty much hell for me there, and I escaped to other towns as often as possible…so, it’s not like this is abnormal behavior to me.

I’ll be in and out like lightning…maybe a couple small scorch marks left behind…no big…

So if Sunday’s paper reads “Lightning Strikes Small Town North Dakota”… 

It wasn’t me…I was home all night…I swear…just ask the cat…

Really.

Really.
In the middle of May.
FU, North Dakota.

Nineteen

Yeah, I know there was no post for “Eighteen”.  I’m skipping that because of the blackout for opposition to SOPA/PIPA.

Straight to today.

Life has changed so much in the past year, it’s barely comprehensible to me that I could have had so much occur in so short a period of time.

I mean – really.

The beginning of the year of 2011 saw me in a failing marriage, struggling to figure out where I was going, if it was going to be salvageable.  With 2 kids still at home, and 1 semi-grown up, having issues and troubles of her own, it was a festival of drama, trauma, stress and pain.

A couple of months later, saw me divorced, living as a single mom again, and dealing with my EldestDaughter telling me she was pregnant at 20…. just like I had gotten pregnant for the first time at 20…. just like my mother had gotten pregnant for the first time – at 20.  History really does repeat itself, hunh?

The summer saw a multitude of things happen, as my city flooded for months on end, many lives were irrevocably changed forever.  My own life was changed already by the divorce, but I also started dating again.  Friends, family, co-workers, all have at some point come up to me and told me that I’ve changed immensely.  I’ve lost weight, starting to feel healthier again; I smile much more often, and I generally just seem “lighter” emotionally, physically, all around, really.

And the end of the year saw changes as well, as I started getting some of my own independence back.  Regaining a portion of who I was “before” I let myself get swept away by my ex’s overwhelming attitudes and personality.

And the beginning of 2012 has seen a continuance of that.  Little by little, I’m feeling stronger, more sure of myself and the solidity of the footing underneath me.  I have started putting my foot down more and more in my own, and my family’s, defense.  I’m figuring out more of What I want, Where I want to go with my life, and Who I choose to have surrounding me as I travel this path.

My children are, right now, all back in the roost.  And while it’s nice having them all close, I know too, that I’m going to have to schedule times where I get to be alone.  I still need that “me time” that so many people talk about.  Time to decompress and recharge my emotional batteries.  It may be that I actually go off somewhere, by myself, or I may choose to spend it with someone special.  Me time doesn’t always have to be “Me Have To Be All Alone” time.  It’s just a chosen escape from the constant flow of emotional demands…

My thoughtful moment of the day:  You can cram a lot of life into 12 short months.  After all, it only takes 9 months to make a new one.

Five

Thaw~

This winter has been unexpectedly warm, so far.  We’ve had temps in the 30s and 40s the last couple of days, with nothing really getting too far down below the zero mark.

The kids were bummed that we had a mostly-brown Christmas.

I’ve been ecstatic.

Warmer weather means smaller electricity and heat bills.

It means spending less on gas for my vehicle and worrying less about getting places on time due to bad roads and awful traffic.

It means I haven’t had to worry – yet – about getting a new winter coat… which I really need, but hate shopping for.  Also new winter boots.

This warmer weather has been a blessing for me.  With a smaller income after the divorce, it’s nice to catch a break, even if I do know it’s short-term and won’t last.  I’ll take the blessings where they fall, thanks!

I know the colder weather is coming… this is North Dakota, after all. 

But I’ll smile and enjoy the sunshine and warm weather while I can get it!

Oh, Snap!

I like taking pictures.

I’ve been taking the kids’ school pictures for years, and I’m always looking for interesting things to catch and keep digitally, either with my phone (which, of course, is much easier to carry around), or with my simple digital camera.

I’ve also taken pictures in the last couple of years for friends, and their kids, for senior pictures and invitation/announcements for graduations.

I never planned on “going pro”, or having any kind of business built around it. 

For me, it’s an enjoyable hobby.

But last week, I was stunned – when I received an email from an Assistant Editor at Oxford University Press… asking if they could get permission to publish a picture that I took and posted on this blog!

The gentleman asked me what I thought it would cost them to get the permission and the high resolution photo original for a book that they’re going to be putting together by an author that publishes books on architecture. 

uh……….. ?

That night, I came home, looked up the Oxford University Press, did my research on the author and the books that he creates.

I was dumbfounded.

I was flummoxed.

I was a little sick to my stomach.

What if this was just a hoax?

And why did they want my picture, and how did they find this simple little picture I took to test the light quality while I was taking pictures of my kids???

Well, after checking out everything I could….

I decided to take a chance.

After all, it’s not like they were asking to use a picture that was really personal. 

This was a simple “one-off” picture, that I happened to like because of the way the light fell.

So I wrote back to him, telling him that “honestly, I was stunned”. 

That he could have my permission to use the photo, and did he want anymore of that particular location, as it’s right here, in my city?  And as far as payment was concerned… put my name as the contributor of the photo, and… send me a copy of the published book?

Well, today, I got an email back from the same gentleman.

They’re going to publish my photo, and they’d be happy to send me a copy of the book! 

I think that he was surprised that I didn’t actually ask for any money.

Others that I told about this opportunity, asked me the same thing.

And I told them – I’m not concerned about any money I might get from one little picture.

This is my hobby, not my profession, and if I start telling people they can’t use my pictures unless they pay me?  It won’t be fun for me anymore.  It’ll be work. 

And I like this hobby.  I don’t want it to not be fun anymore.

So, I’ll not be asking for anything more than the recognition that I took the picture, and a copy of the book, so I can show my friends and family.

And I’ll be happy.  Because of a picture I took for the light…..

 

Saving The Sanctuary

I’ve written before about my sanctuary – the place I retreat when I need peace and quiet, or to escape from the chaos.  Oak Park.

A beautiful haven, stuffed down in the middle of my city, and one of my all-time favorite places to be.

Unfortunately, being in the middle of the city also means being in the middle of the valley.

The valley that flooded this summer.

And all the green, the quiet, the peace, was drowned under tons of gallons of flood waters.

But, even as the muddy water recedes, leaving behind dying foliage, and wrecked buildings and shelters, there is hope.

I’m not sure how it all began, but a link was posted about a week ago that Coca-Cola was giving away thousands to America’s favorite national parks on their website, and Oak Park, my beloved retreat, was in the running for one of their grants!

There are 3 top positions in this contest – 1st place wins $100,000.00; 2nd place wins $50,000.00, and 3rd place wins $25,000.00 to restore, rebuild, and enhance their park.

And as of today, Oak Park, Minot, North Dakota – is in 1st place!  The people of my community, along with many others from around the world, have been voting to keep our park in the top spot of the competition. 

With almost 700,000 votes as I write this post, Oak Park has a very good chance right now of being able to recover from this devastating flood, and become once more the beautiful place I love and remember. 

And you can help.  Click on the link, and it’ll take you to the Coca-Cola website where the voting is taking place.  If you search for Oak Park, Minot, North Dakota, zip code 58701, you will find the page dedicated to it, and can vote as often as you like. 

The contest ends on Sept. 6, and the winners will be notified sometime in mid-September.  I’m crossing fingers, eyes, toes, and everything else crossable that Oak Park is able to win the grant. 

And there are others out there praying for a win, too.

Help them find their way home?

Philosophical Sunday

I’m feeling rather introspective today.

In the last few days, I’ve had occasion to take a long look at who I was, who I am, who I’m becoming.  I’ve thought a lot about what it was that I used to want, what I need to get where I want to go, and whether the “needs” and the “wants” really match up, or whether they’re incompatible.

And I wish I could tell you that I have any answers to the questions I’ve been posing to myself.

But *sigh* I don’t.

The questions are still all there, swirling around in my head, spinning me in a million different directions, and never letting me stand still long enough to grab a point of reference to hold onto.

But, funny thing?  Even with all the chaos inside my brain, all the questions and frustrations of the past few days – I’m oddly calm.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m ultimately happier when life is in a constant state of flux.  When changes happen one after another, I don’t have to sit and worry; I have to act – react – and adapt. 

Yeah, I like the quiet times too.  I love being able to sit, just in one moment and be.  I like the calm of a still afternoon, spent relaxing, listening to music, or my children’s laughter, or just the play of the wind through the trees. 

But, those moments aren’t meant to last.  Those perfect spaces of stillness and balance are transitory, finite.  It is their temporary nature that makes them so wonderful, because you know that they don’t last.  That forces you to stop, “smell the roses”, and enjoy it, because you know that it’s not permanent.  The winds die down, the flowers wilt, the sun sets, and the moment is over.

Things change.

Things stay the same.

Both statements are true.

I am in the middle of changing my life.  I’ve already made a few of the changes – and whether they’ll be positive ones or not, will remain to be seen.  There are more changes coming, I can see them working their way toward me from down the road.  Some decisions are going to be harder than others, and I don’t know yet how I’ll react to the situations.  Some of the decisions have me really frustrated, because of the variables that refuse to sit still and behave in predictable ways.  The logic circuits are not functioning at full charge all the time, which leaves me confused and exhausted.  And there are times when I think about just chucking those issues out the window, “turtling up” and hibernating while the storms pass overhead. 

But something keeps me moving forward. 

Maybe it’s the idea that there’s a better moment up ahead. 

Yes.  A better moment.  With wind in the trees overhead, flowers in bloom, the sun dancing through the leaves….. and a second of balance – before the next change.

I’ll be ready.  I’ll be waiting. 

 

The Rockets Red…

I hadn’t planned on posting anything today, simply because I’ve been really lacking for postable materials going on in my life.  Or at least, anything I felt was “post-worthy”.

But, I received an email at work today, that shook me up.

I haven’t really cried over the awfulness of the flood since this whole mess started 2 months ago.  I guess I hadn’t had anything that had really affected me, personally, to the point where my stronger emotions were hit. 

Until today.

This, is a slideshow of OnlySon’s school, taken yesterday.  All 3 of my children attended this school, home of the Ramstad Rockets, and… well… I guess it was just that last drop of water that overflowed my cup.

***(the link has been removed, as it’s broken)***

There have been a lot of awful stories, as well as a lot of hopeful ones, here in my city.  The stories run the gamut between folks who’ve lost everything, like my boss; and people who are finally able to move back into homes that only sustained minimal damage; to the really fortunate ones, like myself, who only had a little ground water seep in, or didn’t get affected at all.

I’ve been listening to the stories, watching the news, viewing their personal pictures that they post on facebook and that they send through emails.  But watching the slideshow of my son’s school… somehow, for me, that tipped the scales. 

And so, for today, I’m pretty much done.  I’ll be back when the sun shines in my head again.

Just Another Day In The Life

I know it’s been a while since I posted, and the few I’ve put up have been farther between than normal.  But life’s been rather hectic here this summer, and I’ve been either too down, or too busy to really keep up here.  Hence, a small blog-cation.

And boy, has there been a lot going on!

Of course, the longest-lasting story, is, of course, the flooding in my city.  It’s still going on, but the water levels have begun to drop slightly.  People are being allowed back in their homes, to assess damage, try to begin cleanups, or… salvage anything they can before the demolition begins.  There are a lot of homes here that will have to be torn down, as the local government is going to have to “mitigate” a portion of the lands in town to offset the possibility of future flooding, and build new, or larger dikes.  I’m lucky in that my house is on top of one of the 2 hills of Minot, so my house is safe.  OnlySon will be attending next year’s school at the local auditorium, as his school was completely inundated, but he still has his home.  YoungerDaughter’s school is up high enough on the southern hill that it wasn’t affected, so she will graduate next spring from her own school.  We are blessed.

I’ve been… *gasp*… dating someone for a little over a month now.  I’m taking my time.  He’s funny, sarcastic, and makes me feel good about myself.   I’m not sure, though, if we’re really right together, so I’m keeping my options open.  Time will tell.

BUT, the biggest news of the summer…… is concerning EldestDaughter.

Yep.

Due in March, EldestDaughter is now baking up my first GRANDCHILD.

Ack.

Eek.

This means I’m gonna be a…..

*GASP*

 

Wow.  I’m still rather processing this fact.

EldestDaughter is also going to be getting MARRIED next summer, and she and her fiance’ have started telling everyone their news.  I had to wait till now to be able to share our news, since she wanted to tell all the family members in our area herself.  It almost killed me to keep my mouth shut about this, but I did it.  Phew.

I’ll be blogging more about this later, but I wanted to fill everyone in out there in the blogosphere on the major news of the summer so far.  It’s been pretty wild!

Hopefully, this will be the last of the major life-changing events for a while, and I can get back to just laughing about some of the little things.  Like OnlySon’s and my conversation about monkeys, kittens, and opposable thumbs.

But that’s a story for another day.