The Vortex

So, a couple of friends suggested to me that I set up a magickal “sink hole” or “vortex of doom” to help keep negativity out of my house during the baby shower I’ll be throwing for EldestDaughter in a couple of weeks.

I’ve actually done this before, for a friend who had someone negative coming to their house on a regular basis.  It worked, sometimes a little too well, so I’ve decided to post the process I used here, for those of you who are of a mind to try something like this!

First, clean the area that you are going to be using to set this up.  A dirty space doesn’t work well for magick.  You have to do the physical work, to help the visualisation manifest in reality.

I’ll use my front door as the example, since that’s where this is going.

Step 1:  Sweep, clean up underneath the step too, if you can get to that area.

Step 2:  Center yourself.  Place your feet about shoulder-width apart, and close your eyes.  Hold your hands out, palms down over the area (you don’t have to put your hands on it, just hold them above the space), and visualise a white light/water/wind/etc. (whatever you use for cleansing) cleansing the area.  You can also use salt water, incense, a candle flame, or a stone, if you prefer.  It’s up to you how you get rid of any “leftover static”.

Step 3:  With eyes closed, visualise a pentagram, made out of your favorite element (earth, wind, fire, water), and see it right where you want the sink hole/drain/vortex to be.  Once you have the pentagram clear in your mind, see it begin to spin, slowly, counterclockwise.  You can, if you so choose, have a chant you speak at this point, such as “No negativity shall enter here,” or “No harm brought in, let happiness win”.  Again, your choice.

Imagine that this spinning pentagram will pull any negative energy from anyone who steps on or over it.  It will drain the negativity out of them, and send it into the ground, where it can be changed to natural, non-specific, energy again.  Neither negative nor positive, simply neutral. 

Just remember, you want to have your intent clear when you set this up.  There can’t be any harmful thoughts going into the setup, or you risk having it backfire on you.  Karma will get her way.

I’ve got some work to do before I can set this up at my house.  My intentions, right now?  Not so pure.  But I’ll get there.

D.F.W.M.

I’m usually a pretty easy going person.

I try to get along, not cause drama, and if there is drama, not make it worse.

Of course, I have drama in my life sometimes, you can’t totally get away from it.  And when this happens, I normally will hole up till it’s over, or try to work around it, mediate it, or….

I simply put on my alter-ego… Tawanda…

And shut it the hell down.

I had a moment like that yesterday.  And Tawanda was only too happy to make an appearance.

You see, a few years ago, a friend (name withheld because of privacy) and I started a group.  It was a Pagan group, designed to allow people in my area to have a place to meet, greet and get together, without being afraid to talk about things that many non-Pagans wouldn’t necessarily understand, or would think were just downright “weird”.  It wasn’t meant to be a “coven” of any sort, no real structure, and no real rules other than “Play nice”. 

The word “Independent” is stated very clearly, right in the middle of the group’s name, to let people know that this wasn’t just for people looking to belong to a coven, but to those who choose to also celebrate, practice, and simply live, in their own particular way.  No obligations to attend any meetings or functions, no dues, no feelings of guilt if you couldn’t make it, or just plain didn’t want to.  It was meant to be friendly get-togethers and sharing things that  we have in common.  Or learning about how people do things differently.  Whatever.

Just this last year, when Facebook introduced the idea of “Groups” on their site, I figured that this was a good way to allow our bunch of rebels and rabble-rousers a place on the social network to meet and hang out.  So I set one up for this particular and peculiar band of “Independent Pagans”.

Basically meant to be an internet “cork board”, I wanted to give the community a place to hang their conical hats, meet others who hadn’t been able to come to the picnics and get-togethers we’d had in the past, post new get-togethers for all to see, and just generally hang out with like-minded people.  It was never intended to be anything more than that.

Until yesterday, when someone decided that the group needed a “mission statement”.

Well, I thought I’d spelled it out pretty clearly, right in the description of the group:

“A place for pagans in the area to network, post events, chat with other pagans, and have fun!”

Simple, to the point.  Just the way I wanted to get started.  Then, this person decided that they were going to not only put forth this mission statement… they were going to tack the name of MY group on it.  Rather like ripping my baby from my arms and calling it theirs, telling everyone that it was going to grow up to be just like them.

Ahem.

Remember me?

The person who created the group in the first place?

Yeah. 

When I read the initial posting, I had to hold myself back from immediately ripping this person a new orifice.  I was on my lunch break, and knew that, for as mad as I was at the time, it wouldn’t be pretty, or polite.  It would be downright nasty.

So I kept mum until after work.  In the meantime, the friend who helped me start this group went on and posted a query as to the other person’s intent.  And got a snarky remark back.

Game on.

I was polite.

I was tactful.

And I was also very, very…. honest.

Some might call it  – blunt.

I saved the actually angry stuff for my own personal page.  Basically saying “Don’t F*** With Me”.  I have a reputation, you see, that when someone pushes me?  I push back.  And I don’t back down.

A brief apologetic post followed a couple of hours later from this person.

Nuff said.

Play nice, kiddies…

Tawanda out.

The Reason for the Season

Samhain.  All Hallow’s Eve.  Halloween.

Each of these names mean something different to everyone you speak to.  And the legends, stories, and mythology come from many different sources and histories.

Some you talk to, will say it’s all about the costumes and the candy.  Some will say that it’s about decorating your house with ghoulish images, and about setting up scary scenes for people that come calling.  Others will say it’s all about spooky movies, and hiding behind corners to pop out and frighten your friends. 

There are a lot of different ideas about the holiday found at the end of October.

And so, I’m here to tell you about my reason for the season.

Yes, I love the costumes, the candy, the decorations filled with spiders, bats, ghosts, skeletons, and other creepy things.  I love the spooky, scary movies and the rest of it.

But, when you get right down to the whole feel of the month of October, and the actual night of Samhain… something changes for me.

In the Wiccan faith, and in fact, over many of the Pagan beliefs, there is a consensus that the veil between the living and the dead is thin at this time of year.  That those on the other side of this barrier have the opportunity during this season to come to our side a little more freely, with a stronger sense of purpose and energy.  They have greater access to the living, and can speak to us, bringing us signs of their presence.

More magickal spells are done at this time of the year, I believe, than any other.  Partly, I think, because of the heightened awareness people have of the possibilities of what magick can do, with all the attention that paganism get.  Witches play such a huge role at this time of year, due to the media hype, that they get asked at this time of year more than any other for spells. 

But the strongest magicks are those that deal with honoring those who have passed before us.  Seances, which I personally will not do, just for personal reasons, are popular during this season.  I don’t believe that the spirits need a seance to manifest during this time, and to hold one… well, I feel that it’s disrespectful to those spirits who wish to remain at rest, as it more or less pulls them from the other realm to speak to and interact with this one.  Leave those at peace, in their peace.  And those that wish to cross over, temporarily, will do so in their own time and manner, without our interference.

Divination, the use of tarot cards, pendulums, runes, palm reading, etc., is done more at this time of year, as well.  The reason for this is that many people believe that it is spirits from the other side that bring these messages of the future for the person getting the reading.  I, personally, believe that the messages come from within the person being read, not from an outside source, but their own belief that Halloween allows this to be a stronger, clearer reading, opens them up more to this form of fortune telling, so it works better, because they believe it will.

In essence, the outward trappings of Halloween are fun.  I’ll be the first to throw on a creepy costume and traipse around behind my children for trick-or-treating, or simply to get into the spirit of the season for those that come knocking at my door.

But the reason for the season… for me… is to honor those who went before.

 And that, I do privately.  Quietly.  With dignity, respect, and love.

May Spirit light your way, and guide you home through the darkness.

Tuesday Theology – Beltane

May 1st is Beltane.  It’s a joyous celebration of Spring, complete with flowers, ribbons and fire.

And yes, it’s a fertility holiday, too. 

BUT.

It’s not just about that.

Beltane is a fire holiday that celebrates not only the creation of new life, but the creation of prosperity.  In the old days, people would light the Beltane bonfires in celebration of the sun returning in full force to help everything grow.  Couples would hold hands and jump the flames to show their commitment to one another, with those that jumped the flames at their highest, without letting go of each other’s hands, bringing good luck to their relationship for the years to come.  Usually, the eldest couple in the village would wait till the end of the night, when the fire had dimmed to just coals, and holding hands, they’d step over the remaining fire calmly.  This was the culmination of the night, and afterwards, everyone would take some of the leftover coals home to light their hearthfires, knowing that they contained all that hope and love that had been infused into it by the people that leapt the flames.

The villagers would also bring their cattle, and drive them past the bonfires, to bring fertility to their herds, and luck to their farms.

Beltane is about the earth breaking open, to release the magick of the seeds that had lain just under the surface, and growing into the crops, flowers and grass that was necessary for life.

It’s about the breaking open of all sorts of magick, that’s lain fallow over the winter, waiting for its moment to come forth and spill good luck and prosperity over those that wish for it.  It’s about the fulfillment of hopes and dreams, and seeing the beginning of new and wonderful things in your life, after waiting through the darker times, and working for this new start.

And then, there’s the maypole.

Young maidens and young men were typically chosen to dance around the maypole, weaving the ribbons round it in a certain pattern.

It was designed to bring the young people together, allowing them to meet one another in a supervised setting, giving the parents a chance to find “good matches” for their children in the future.  It was also about “weaving the magick” to the earth, through the wooden pole stuck into the ground, making it stay in one place, to “hold” the magick and good luck in one place, ensuring the prosperity of the villagers for the whole year.

This Beltane, some friends and I are finishing a ritual that we began at Ostara.  Eggs were cleaned out, decorated, and a slip of paper containing our hopes and wishes were placed inside of them, and sealed with tissue and wax.  In this way, we were “planting” our dreams, giving the magick time to grow within.  At Beltane, we will crush the eggs in our ritual, releasing the magick into reality, and burning the slips of paper to deliver our dreams to the God and Goddess, in the hopes that they will be received and fulfilled for us.

No one speaks about their wishes that were written, safeguarding the magick with silence.  I know, though, that the magick has already begun.  Speaking with one of the others, as well as my own experiences, tells me that this is so.

And on Sunday….. everything will become the reality that I’ve been wishing for.

So Mote It Be.

Good Night Moon

The full moon occurred on Friday night, and was carried over through the weekend, into the Spring Equinox, or as we Pagans call it, Ostara.

I captured this picture from my driveway on Friday evening.

I love the moon.

When I was a kid, I was frightened of the dark.  Terribly, awfully afraid – almost to the point of phobia.

It wasn’t until after I finally started learning about Wicca, that I stopped fearing the dark, and learned that it could be a comfort, too.  The moon is now, to me, the Mother’s face, watching, protecting, empowering me.

She hangs up there, throughout the night, my favorite time, and even when her face is not full, there is a special magick that follows her, and makes me smile when I see her.  It’s always been said that there’s a “man in the moon”, but they lie. 

It’s the Goddess’ face I see there.

This second picture was sent to me via text, the same night, from someone very dear to me, who knows about my fascination with the moon.

I love the fact that the camera on this phone turned the moon blue.  Beautiful, absolutely stunning.

It was a thoughtful, sweet gesture, and it was the perfect gift.

The next night, EldestDaughter came into town, as she had agreed to go to prom with a friend here in our town.  She stopped by the house, just so I could take pictures of her in her dress, as I didn’t get any when she actually went to her senior prom (a tale for another day), and so I FINALLY got my prom pictures of her…. 2 years late.

I told her about the “supermoon”, and later that same evening, I received this:

EldestDaughter also knows about my absolute love of the moon – and that she was thinking about me while at a dance with friends?  Priceless.

Also, one of EldestDaughter’s favorite books is “Goodnight Moon” by Margaret Wise Brown.

It was one of my favorites to read to the kids when they were little, and I think we have 3 copies of this book floating around the house. 

My favorite part?  The ending.

Goodnight stars

Goodnight air

Goodnight noises, everywhere.

(Goodnight, Moon, I love you)

Tuesday Theology – SPRING!

March 20th signals the Spring Equinox, and I am SO READY!

Spring Equinox is one of 2 days of the year when the light and the dark are nearly identical in length.  This is when we in North Dakota generally truly begin to feel the warmth of the returning sun, and the signs that life is returning to us once again.

I, myself, begin to start getting horrible cabin-fever about this time of year, after hibernating for the last few months.

Wiccan theology paints the Goddess, at this time, as the Maiden Spring – Persephone returned from the depths of Hades, and once again reunited with her mother, Demeter.  Persephone is gowned in flowers, and is followed by rabbits, ducklings, lambs, and all manner of baby animals.  She is the first blush of Spring, the mist of green that adorns the trees and carpets the ground, telling us that the grass will be returning shortly.  She is the joy of sunlight and music, after the long cold silence of winter.

And to celebrate this, we paint eggs and we plant seeds, infusing them with magickal wishes for the upcoming growing season.  We plant our hopes and dreams in the fertile soil of the world, nurturing and watering them carefully, providing them with the warmth of our hearts and protecting them from harm by keeping quiet about them.  Like making a wish on a birthday candle, you don’t speak about it, allowing them to sprout in their own way, with the consent and aid of the Goddess and God.   Knowing that, if they come to fruition, then they were meant to be beneficial to us.  And, that if they do not grow, that it was not the right wish, or maybe, not the right time for it.

And so, this Spring, I plant the seeds I wish to come to fruition.  I will nurture them, care for them, and nourish them with my hopes and love.  If it is meant to be, the Goddess will allow them to grow.  I have faith that what is meant, will happen. 

And, I have already had my sign that Spring is coming.  The geese are back in the park.

Wish #1 – fulfilled!

Sanctuaries in Time

I have always been a person that loves nature.  Throughout my life, I’ve found great joy and peace through climbing trees, walking through the woods, and crawling my way down a cliff that we had behind our house in Iowa.

And there were certain places, special places, that I always fled to, when I was really down, or simply needed the peace and serenity that these places held for me. 

The first such place, was at the bottom of that cliff I mentioned, in my hometown of Nora Springs, Iowa.  The Shell Rock River ran behind my house, and at the bottom of the cliff, there was  a small path, which ended at a large rock situated on the edge of the river.  Whenever I was needing time and space to myself, or fleeing troubles, I would go to this place, tucked away at what, for me, was the back of beyond, and outside of reach of others.

I could lay in the sunshine, with the rush of the water flowing past, and simply disappear in time.

Or I would make small leaf boats, and set them sailing down the river, imagining that they would make their way all the way to the ocean before stopping.

I went back a few years ago, and walked all the way down the hidden path to that same rock.  It’s smaller now, having worn a bit, and the waters having risen, but it’s still just as magickal to me as it always was.  A place tucked out of sight, out of mind, and out of time.

Today, I have another special sanctuary.  A place that I retreat to when things get tough, or I simply need a moment, a breath, of silence and serenity.

A public park in my city.  This place is not large, but even though it’s in the center of the city, it’s almost eerily silent inside the park.  Roads run all the way around it, with a small river winding through it, and I spend a lot of time there during the nice months, walking through the small paths, sitting in the grass, and simply soaking up the peace.

Walking along the paths, you get to see the Canadian geese that fill the park from spring to fall, and you get to feed the little goslings, who are totally adorable, as long as you keep your distance, as the parents are pretty protective and very hissy.

There are also a multitude of red and black squirrels in the park, who are very bold, often to taking food right from your fingertips.

This place, this park, is a very special space.  And even though it’s a public park, I still feel like it’s all mine.  There’s a stillness, a silence, that fills me when I’m there, and it brings me a lot of serenity. 

The sanctuaries I’ve found have always been outdoors, close to the earth.  And knowing what I know now, about myself, my faith, it makes a lot of sense.  And so, I’ll leave you with this.  There are places on this earth; wonderful, peaceful, serene places.  And if you’re lucky enough to find one, mark it on your mental map.  Hold on to it.  Because this could become a sanctuary, a resting place, for you, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  And that – is a treasure.

P.S. And yes, I ate the other half of that cookie. He shared with me, after all.

Tuesday Theology 2/22/11

Kwan Yin – Mother of Mercy, Compassion and Love

Saturday, February 19th, was the birthday of my Patron Goddess, Kwan Yin, also known as Guanyin, Kannon, and Avalokitésvara, among others.

My Goddess has a murky past.  Doing some research this weekend, I learned that there are many people that believe that the deity began as a male god.  Others believe that KwanYin was a hermaphrodite, being both male and female at the same time.  Still others say that Kwan Yin was a real person that lived in the Shang Dynasty in China (1600 BC–1046 BC).

My favorite story of Kwan Yin involves the legend of Miao Shan.  In this legend, she was a Chinese princess, raised by a cruel man that wanted her to marry well.  Miao Shan told her father that she would marry, only, if the marriage eased 3 misfortunes:  1.  That her marriage would ease the misfortune of the suffering that people feel when they age.  2. That it would ease the misfortune of the pain people feel when they fall ill.  And 3.  That the third misfortune it would heal was the suffering caused by death.

When her father asked who she could possibly marry that would ease these misfortunes, she replied “A doctor.” 

Her father, furious, wanted her to marry someone of wealth and power, not a “healer” of no note, so he threatened her, locked her up and took away many of her privileges. 

Miao Shan didn’t balk or back down, though.  Instead, she begged her father to let her live in a temple, as a nun.  Finally, he let her go to the temple, but told the monks there to give her only the worst jobs, thinking that would soon bring her home to do his bidding.

Instead, Miao Shan worked tirelessly, until finally, even the animals began to love her, and help her with her chores. 

Her father was enraged when she refused to return and marry as he wished, so he ordered the temple burned.  Miao Shan put out the flames with her own hands, but suffered no burns.  Frightened, her father then ordered her executed.

There are many tales of how she was executed, but they basically all tell the same story, Miao Shan was first sent to the Buddhist version of “hell”, where, through her compassion for the suffering she found there, she released all the good karma she’d built up over her many lifetimes, freeing so many souls that she turned hell into a paradise, and was kicked out by the ruler there. 

As she began her ascent to “heaven”, Miao Shan/KwanYin heard a cry of suffering, and turned around to see what was happening.  Upon seeing someone crying out, she decided that she could not ascend to heaven until all the suffering on the Earth was cured, and descended back to help.  Thus, she became a revered “bodhisattva”, which is a semi-divine Goddess. Forever between Earth and heaven, she hears the laments of the world, and seeks to comfort all.

Is it any wonder, that she is my Patroness? 

Happy Birthday, Blessed Kwan Yin.

Tuesday Theology 2/15/11

What is Wicca Anyway?

I know I’ve talked a lot on my blog in the past about being Wiccan, and little bits and pieces, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually described what it is to me.  The word carries so many different connotations for so many different people, and it can be difficult to get a description. 

There’s a saying:  “Ask 10 Wiccans about Wicca, and you’ll get 15 different answers”

So, today, I’m going to define my religious beliefs. 

You’ve officially been warned. *insert smirk*

The books all say that Wicca is “A Nature-based religion encompassing the belief in both a Goddess and a God as Deity, with a reverence for all living things, incorporating magick to cause change in every-day life.”

True, so far as theoretical theology defines it.

To me?  Wicca is the belief that all life has a sacred value to it, because everything is, in fact, connected.  At the atomic level. 

Yes, I use Science to define Religion. 

Blasphemy, some might say, including some of the Wiccans I know.  I’ve been told time and time again that Science and Religion are mutually exclusive, and can’t ever be combined.

Hooey, I say.

Because, one of my core beliefs is that all things in the universe are made up of two things:  atoms and energy. 

Atoms are the substance, and Energy is the force that catalyzes motion and change in that substance. 

All the atoms in the universe are touching at some point.  The floor’s atoms are touching your feet’s atoms, are touching the atoms in the air, are touching atoms from a tree outside my house, are touching… you get the picture.  To affect one thing is to affect all things, even if you can’t see the effect of it, it’s there. 

The Butterfly Effect.

Now, as far as Deity is concerned?  Well, check out the symbol for Yin and Yang.

Perfectly balanced between light and dark, male and female, in motion and at rest.  Everything in the universe struggles for that balance.  Nature abhors a vacuum, and seeks to fill it with the opposite element, to correct the imbalance.

So, for me, there must be a balance between male and female.  God and Goddess. 

In fact, the largest part of why I began to study Wicca was that search for balance.  Learning how to balance home and work, spirituality and mundane life, moods, etc.  Finding emotional and spiritual balance was something I’d searched for – for a long time, and Wicca gave me the freedom to find it in my own way, and the acceptance of peers that were also searching for their own way, without being told we were doing it wrong.

And I’ve found it.  I carry it.  In my heart, within my head, and on my body.

A balance between light and dark, male and female, and the elements: Air, Fire, Water and Earth.  It’s all there.  It’s all within me, attainable.  Sometimes I forget that, and I don’t act the way I profess to work toward, but that’s human nature.

I get back up, I strive, I stretch myself, and I try again.  That, too, is human nature.  And, as the books say… Wicca is a Nature religion.

~Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.~ Albert Einstein

Mama, I’m Comin’ Home

I had a switch flipped inside my head today.

By the simple act of a friend posting a picture of the Dalai Lama to my facebook.

The Face of Zen

In that one instant, it was like an old fashioned camera flashbulb went off in my head, and I could suddenly see much more clearly what I’ve been doing for the last few days.

I’ve been kind of cranky.

Now, most people probably didn’t notice, because I hid it behind humor and/or sarcasm.  But I know, now, it was there.  A constant tension, anxiety and an aftertaste of anger that’s been squealing at the edges of my nerves for the last couple of weeks, at least.  I can feel the raw edges of my feelings still cringing at the thought of some of the things that I’ve felt/done/said over the last few days alone.

And I’d been surfing that wave of discordance like an old pro.  I used to live in that zone, that constant anger and anxiety and depression.  And occasionally, I slip back into old habits. 

It’s like an old, moth-eaten, sweater.  You look at it, and think, “Hmm, I’m a little chilly, this looks warm.” And you slide into it, forgetting that once on, it gets tangled on other things in your life, tearing more holes in the fabric meant to keep you warm, and besides, there’s just this constant… itch… that ends up beneath your skin, and you can’t reach it, and it irritates you till you either throw yourself up against the wall, drag yourself through thorns to scratch it, or you take the stupid sweater off.

I’ve also been getting little “messages” from my patron Goddess, Kwan Yin.

But I couldn’t hear them, because the other stuff, the depression, the anger, the anxiety, was ringing too loudly in my ears.  I had my “snark switch” set to 11.

And Kwan Yin has never been a pushy Goddess.  For me, she has always said “To hear the words, you must stop speaking, be silent and still, and listen.”

Today, after seeing the Dalai Lama’s smiling face, I remembered what drew me so strongly to Kwan Yin and Buddhism, strongly enough to add a flavor of that to my faith, and to take one of their Boddhisattva as my Patroness.

It’s the peace.  The stillness of being and the love that radiates from within.  It’s the message of tolerance, hope and acceptance that everyone can be whole unto themselves, without needing someone else to complete them, but that the companionship is lovely.  It’s the warmth of the Goddess’ arms around me when I need solace, and her gentle nudging when I stray from the path I set for myself.  And I can lay down the anger, the anxiety, and the depression into her arms, and she molds them into light, into energy to be used constructively, instead of destructively.

I’ve been nudged back on the path.  Mama Kwan Yin?  I’m coming home.

Thanks for the reminder, Mark. I appreciate it.  I needed that.

But then again, I hear that’s what big brothers are for.