How long do I tend the nest for a child who has already flown?
Here I sit, feeling like the worst mother in the world, right now. Tears pooling in my eyes as I type this, because I told OnlySon that I am planning on leaving North Dakota in a year, and he’s angry, albeit trying not to show it.
He wants everything to remain the same forever, but that can’t happen. Life stagnates if left to sit too long with no forward motion.
And I have been sitting still for many years now, waiting for something to change.
I’m not happy here, anymore.
Too many heartaches and heartbreaks.
Not enough reasons to look forward to getting out of bed every morning.
So, why should I stay?
For a son who has moved in with his father & is now going to be starting a new life of his own, getting a job, being busy with that & dropping by when he needs a shower or to pick up something else I’m storing in my basement or his bedroom?
For a job, which, yes, I enjoy my work – but, let’s face facts, isn’t a life?
Let’s see… Hmm…
What else does North Dakota have to offer me?
Two ex- husbands, one within city limits, and the other an hour away… No, that’s OK.
No one has been able to come up with a compelling, or even logical, reason why I should stay beyond my timeline.
I can’t live for my children’s benefit forever. There comes a time when they have to spread their own wings and leave the nest.
This is the way of life.
Why should I stay?
Tell me. When I feel as though there’s nothing left here for me…