Home » humor » No Thanks, November.

No Thanks, November.

I’ve heard that human beings have the genetic capability to hibernate, we have just evolved beyond the need to do so, since we have foodstuffs available to us year-round, instead of having to forage like wild animals.

Can I de-evolve a little, please?  Just for the month of November?

I’ve talked before about how November & I don’t get along.  It’s the one month out of the calendar year that I could, quite happily, skip, altogether.

For the last few years, it has been the worst month of them all… and yet I’m supposed to celebrate “thankfulness” during this same month.

*sigh*

1 year, we hit a deer on our way home from Thanksgiving dinner at my parents’, turning the front end of our van into a metal sofa.

For 2 consecutive years after that, I ended up in serious, horrific, fights with my brother, which ended up demolishing any kind of relationship I had with him.

The year after that, my MiddleChild was in a car accident, & we still don’t really know how she survived & escaped from her car. A simple miracle in the midst of an awful crash.

Every year.
Something awful.

So, you ask… what’s this year’s event?

Let me show you.

image

Only swollen 3 times it's size

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All the pretty colors

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Just ow.

Cracked ankle bone, severely sprained,  black & blue and freaking ouch all over.

Friday night I was babysitting for the Toddler Tornado.  He fell asleep on the couch while we watched a movie, & when I carried him downstairs to his bedroom… I missed the last, too – short step at the bottom.

I had the presence of mind to twist my body so I landed on my back on the floor, allowing my grandson to land on me, instead of the other way around…

But in the process… I heard my ankle “pop” 3, maybe 4 times, and we had to lie there for a couple of minutes until I caught my breath. 

TT was fine, a little scared, of course, but totally willing to fall immediately asleep when I laid him in his bed.

Then I crawled my way back up the stairs & surveyed the damage.

Well… yesterday was the doctor visit, who provided me with a snazzy black boot (so lovely & slimming, black goes with everything! ), and a pair of shiny silver crutches. 

But, I seriously think that- just maybe- I should look into having this month renamed

No-Jen-ber.

And just sleep through till December 1.

Think I could get that to happen?

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7 thoughts on “No Thanks, November.

    • Thanks. LOL, it hurts, of course, but I’d take this and more, just knowing that it kept my grandson from being hurt.

      Gramma ‘ s got plenty of padding, I’ll bounce better than the kidling.

  1. I totally agree you. Your stories will be added to my collection of data points showing why November is definitely the WORST month ever. My husband was trying to convince me that Thanksgiving somehow salvages November, but this clearly demonstrates it does not.

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