It Has A Certain Ring To It…

I’ve been slightly obsessed with – rings – lately, & I don’t know why.

You see, I’ve never really been much of a jewelry person. Oh, I’ve always had a couple of pieces that I wear, ones that I rarely take off, like my pentacle necklace (representing my faith), & some tiny gold hoops that sit in the top cartilage of my left ear (pierced by my best friend shortly after high school).

And each piece of jewelry that I wear usually has a story behind it, a personal meaning for me, that is the reason it gets worn.

So, what’s the story behind my recent need to wear more & different rings? 

Not a clue. Really, it’s odd.

But, here’s a brief description of what I’m wearing on my hands right now, & what they each mean. (In no particular order of importance to me)

First up – Right hand:

Thumb – A sterling silver pentacle ring. Again, representative of my faith, & a daily reminder to myself to balance the elements of my life.

Index finger- triple fidget ring. This ring represents my kids to me. I have 3, & a lot of times, they make me fidgety.😜

Ring finger- sterling silver ring with oval amber stone. This stone for me represents healing & preservation of memories. 

Left Hand-

Thumb- electroplated sterling with cz & opal inlay stones. This ring I purchased through an introvert group page, and to me, it’s just really pretty & subtle, while having some “spark” to it. I love the blue-green tones of the opal.

Pinky – This has 2 rings. The first is a simple band of hematite, which is a protective stone that “bounces” outside negativity away from me. I have a tendency to pick up easily & take on other people’s emotional states if I’m not careful, so this is a necessary accessory for me.

The 2nd ring is a gold band with 7 white sapphires. This is extremely sentimentally important to me, as it was my sister, Midnite’s ring before she passed away in 2009. My beloved Nephew gave it to me after her passing, & I wear it in her honor.

Ring finger – sterling silver 2-strand braided band. No, I’m not married. This ring I specifically bought for myself. It reminds me that I am truly the only person I can always count on to take care of ME, and that I need to remember to rely on myself, have faith in myself & trust that I will always get through the tough times.

I’ve been let down, abandoned, hurt, mentally, physically, & sexually abused in my past. I’ve made it through everything. Yes, I have friends & family who’ve helped me in the past with dealing with some of those situations, but the one, constant thing in my life has always been – ME, obviously.

This ring is my reminder to never again put all my faith in someone else, or try to rely on believing that others will be there…because too many times, they haven’t been. It’s my “Stand tall on your own two” ring.

There are other rings I have, that I wear occasionally, but these are the semipermanent ones for now. This is the story I wear on my hands at the moment, & whether there’s anyone out there who sees these rings & “gets” this story – I know it. I’m living it. And this is my current expression of it.

On The Block

Something I discovered a few days ago…

Someone I considered a friend, at least, a friendly acquaintance, blocked me from her social media.

Why, you ask? 

Well, as to the actual reason, I couldn’t say, since she didn’t bother to drop me a note stating her reasoning.

But, I have my speculation.

This lady is someone I met through blogging, years ago.  She wrote a funny, sharp, & thoughtful blog , that I enjoyed thoroughly.  Always sarcastic, but never what I’d call “mean”, she’d talk about her past, her present, her job, boyfriend, vacations, pets, celebrity crushes, whatever struck her fancy.  And I’d laugh at every one because of her sharp & witty sense of humor.

She was also a former member of the military, with strong pro feelings about guns. (I’ve never had a problem with responsible gun ownership, & she’s definitely of that sort, so no worries right?)

Well, fast forward a couple 3 years or more, & she happened to post something about guns.. Something to do with the current stories of the government wanting to get rid of private persons owning semi-automatics. Nothing that would nornally ring my bell, but I read it, and noticed that there were an awful lot if commenters mocking people who were non-gun owners, nonmilitary, etc. 

So, I commented.  I stated that I had great respect for responsible gun owners, that I had nothing but love for our military, and that I, personally, was NOT a gun owner, of my own free will.  

Also, that I would never mock others who chose to think differently than I did, simply because of those beliefs. 

A few days later?

Poof.

My “friend” was no longer.

Welp. 

Guess that’ll teach me to be tolerant of people with ideas different than my own, won’t it?

Yeah, she has the right to have whatever people she wants on her social media, and I’ve purged mine from time to time as well.

But it would have been interesting to know her true reasoning behind putting my head on the block.

Dangit, I forgot the Title

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My lilies are blooming, finally, in my flower garden!

Proof that I actually do have patience lurking somewhere inside my skin.

This variety is called “Forever Susan”, & I bought the bulbs online last fall, planted them after the first good frost, & waited until this week to see them!

Patience is not my strong suit, so I think it was pretty damned impressive that I got these to grow & bloom without losing my mind & either over-planting something else on top of these, or ripping them out when they didn’t come up after the last snow of the year melted away. 

My pumpkins are still growing, as well.  All the seeds I put down have sprouted, & the leaves are getting bigger.  No pumpkins yet, of course, as it’s still too early for that, but I’m hopeful.

And, I’m working on sculpting, again.  I’ll post pics when I’m done, but I’m making miniatures for trees to go in my shop.  Time to put some new stuff up, & hopefully generate some more interest.

Otherwise, life goes on.
Drama still exists.
And I’m still here, alone, but hanging on.
Permaneo.

A Start

Half days is a good place to start.

I went back to work today, feeling pretty good about my decision to start with half days.  And I think it went well.  I actually woke up before my alarm went off, so I was off to a better start than I thought.

About 10am, my lower back started to hurt, along with my abdomen, so I knew a full day wasn’t going to happen; & by 1pm, I was wiped, so I came home.

Wise choice, considering I fell asleep in my chair by 2, and slept till 5.

It continually frustrates me that I’m still getting so tired this quickly, but, I guess, since it’s still only been 3 1/2 weeks since the surgery, it isn’t unexpected.

By 6:30, I felt somewhat recovered from today, so, of course, I decided to push the envelope again, & started trimming the hedges that line one side of my property.

Yep, I’ll pay for that later.

But, fuck it.

They need doing, and I’m the one who’s here, so it’s got to be done.

Tonight, I’ll take a nice, long shower,  try to stretch out the kinks in my back & shoulders the hedge trimmer put there, & take my happy ass to bed a little earlier than normal.

Tomorrow, I’ll have to try to finish trimming, & see how far I can get on raking up the branches before my back gives out.  Yardwork never really seems to end when it’s high summer.

Speaking of which, HAPPY SUMMER SOLSTICE!!

Today was the longest day of the year, & tonight us a full moon… the Strawberry Moon, they call it, since this is when strawberries are going full force. 

And with the moon sliding into Sagittarius,  it’s the perfect time to set new goals, & take those first steps toward reaching them.

So, here I go, taking my first steps toward my new goals.

* Getting my normal life back (whatever normal means at this point).

* New craft projects, & revisiting some old ideas with a fresh perspective.

* Reclaiming who I am, and setting goals of where I want to be next year at this time.

Time to get started.

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Pain and Relief

“Have I seen you before?”
“No.”
“Hmm, you look familiar.”
“Well, you’ve seen my mom…”
“And her name?”
(I answer the question)
“Ahh, yes, I know her.  Now, I hear you’re in a lot of pain. Well, that’s understandable.  I’ve looked at your test results, and you have a significant cyst on your right ovary.  We’re going to take care of that.”

Tears of relief sprang to my eyes as I heard the doctor’s words.  The first person, well, the first doctor, anyway, to believe me, to really listen to what I was saying, and the first one to tell me that, not only is my problem more serious than any of the others stated, but he was going to make sure that it didn’t bother me anymore.

I’m still in pain for now.
But not for long.
Blessed Goddess, not for long.
Thank you, Dr. H.

You CAN Stop The Signal

Or, at least, I can.

*silence*

As for the vague Firefly reference, I’ve stopped the signal, sort of, at my house.

Ever since EldestDaughter & Schnicklefritz left last week, my house has been oddly quiet. Even more oddly than just the usual lack of kidly noises…

Because I haven’t turned on my TV in 8 days.

I know… odd.

I’m not much of a TV person, anyway, since I gave up cable last year, confining  my viewing to Netflix & movies from my own collection. And, I didn’t even really watch much of that, either, usually using it as just “background noise” while I worked on other things.

But I haven’t even played one of my games in that 8 days either – which for me, is odd. I love playing Fallout 3 or 4 after a rough day.  Taking down super mutants, raiders & deathclaws is a good de-stresser for me.

But, I’ve been too tired, I guess. Preferring the natural sounds of the birds chirping outside,  & my dog in the backyard,  barking into the air for no reason, it’s just…quiet.

It didn’t start out on purpose,  I swear. It was more or less just me, tired out after a long day at work. Hurting from the medical crap I still have plaguing me, & the combination of those things, plus the medications I take to mitigate both anxiety & pain… and you have insta-zombie.

Able to watch time whoosh by and disappear without lifting a finger.

And, then it’s bedtime for Bonzo.

So it just continued, night after night, me, staring my way through an evening, maybe working on a craft for a few minutes… but mostly, just…zoned.

Until, here we are. Day 8 of the Dead Zone.

Will it continue?
Will the TV ever live again?
Stay tuned, Mousketeers, and we’ll see you here – same bat time, same bat channel, later this week with an answer!

*cue white noise *