Blinkers, Blinders and Blindfolds

I was prompted by a comment made by a friend of mine on one of my blog posts yesterday.

Dragonfae said: “What is it with mothers in denial of all the nasty crap and the need to deal with it?”

I’ve given it a lot of thought.

Growing up, my own mother had a tendency to hide from things that she didn’t want to acknowledge.  I used to tell my best friend that if there was something outside herself that she didn’t want to see – she’d “slam the window shut on it”.  Actually, it was more like a steel wall coming down, blocking all visual, sound, every sense, really.  As though, if she could just block out all of the sensory information about it – it wouldn’t exist.

My mom had a really strong “Blindfold”.

The problem with that is that when you wear the blindfold too long – you end up squinting when it’s finally removed, shocked and disoriented by the light of the truth.  It makes it all that much more difficult to face the things in life that are right in front of you, and you are usually in it up to your elbows by then, because you decided you didn’t want to see it coming.

Then, there are the times when we all – me included – wear the “Blinders”. 

There are times when we’re so focused on what’sright in front of us,that we don’t see the mess coming from the side, or from behind.  Focusing on the task at hand is good, and gets the job done, but you don’t want to be so blind to what’s going on in the worldaround you that you get mowed over by something you didn’t use your peripheral vision for.

I’m guilty of that to a certain extent.  There have been things in the past that I got side-swiped by, simply because I was too focused, hyper-focused, on something else. 

But you can still end up “ass-deep in alligators” before you actually see the trouble surrounding you.

So, I think I’m going to practice being the last sort of person I pondered on today.

A “Blinker”.

Because maybe I close my eyes for a second, to re-orient my vision and perspective…

But at least I’m looking.  I’m seeing.  And I will know what’s going on around me.

I won’t hide behind a more convenient “Blindfold” or even the hyper-focus of the “Blinder”.

No more side-swiping, no more refusing to look at the hard truths…

Even if I don’t like them.

Family fubar

My family.  Most looking in from the outside would think of it as the “perfect nuclear family unit”.

 Growing up, my mom and dad were high-school sweethearts.  They married, and my brother and I are the only children.  (There’s another story there, too, but I’m not gonna talk about it just yet)

My parents are still married – to each other, even.  Yep, that home wasn’t broken.

At least not by divorce.

But there are other ways to break a family.  Things that the members do to each other that turn the “perfect family” into something that resembles another family entirely:

 Matter of fact, the theme song to this old show is currently my ring-tone for when certain members of the clan call me.

There’s a reason for that.

ANYway…

I learned the other night that my brother, his wife, and daughters are going to be moving in a couple of months.  They currently live in the same town as our parents, which is about an hour away from where I live.  This is plenty close for me.  My brother and I have issues. 

My brother was offered a better job, in Florida, and so he is going to be leaving in just a couple of weeks to start the process down there.  The girls, and my sister-in-law are all going to finish up the school year, then join him down south.  This is where my sister-in-law is from, and I know that she’s been missing her family there, plus, the culture differences from the far north to the far south are very different – and I know she’s never really gotten used to it.

So, while I care about my brother, and my sister-in-law and “the short people” as I call my 3 nieces, I guess I’m not as bothered by them moving to the other end of the country, as my mom would like me to be.

And…. I don’t even feel guilty about not feeling worse.

When my brother and I had our big blow-up a couple of years ago, I think I decided that, since he was claiming that his “little sister had died years ago”… I’d let it be like that.  I was pretty much forced into letting the incident go, to make my mom happy… but I’ve never forgiven him for the pain he caused me.  He’s never apologized for it, either.  He only said “I’m sorry if you were hurt”… not sorry for what he actually said and did.

Because he didn’t believe that he did anything wrong.  He still doesn’t believe he was wrong.

And that, I won’t forgive.  I can let it go, for the sake of the family – but I won’t forget it happened. 

And things have never been the same since.

We are now “polite strangers” with a history of past damages.

And when a polite stranger moves away… just how bad are you supposed to feel?

I love my nieces, and my sister-in-law is a lovely, young woman and I like her a lot.  But I don’t spend much time with any of them, because of the circumstances that surrounded the whole “Sibling Wars”.  And it’s been hard, not being able to get close to the only nieces I have, and the only ones I’m likely to have.  But, you can’t change someone else’s mind – only your own.

Honestly, I don’t see my brother and I ever being close again. 

There are lines that you do not cross – but if you cross them anyway – you can’t ever go back.

There is no time machine to go to the past and take it all back.

There’s no words that can be said to make it “OK”.

I’m not still furious over it.  That takes too much constant energy.  But I am resigned to the fact that, while he and I may share genetic material, we’re not family anymore.

And that’s where it gets broken.

 

 

 

Brain Rabies

I think I’ve been infected.

It started with a sniffle, which moved to post-nasal drip, and stealthily worked its way up into my sinuses and back into my ears.

There is now a soft, but constant ringing noise in my right ear.

I will go insane because of this.

Oh, wait.  Crazy can only get “er”.

I’ve had my voice fluctuating between normal and husky – all the way to non-existent.  People are going to think the multiple personalities are finally coming out to play. 

They’re not – I keep them locked up good and tight with the other Voices in my head.

I know that most people refer to this as “the common cold”, and write it off as a small inconvenience.

Whatever.

It’s brain rabies, I know it!

I’ve heard about brain rabies, a friend with her own troop of flying monkeys told me about it, and so I know it’s real and dangerous, and can only be cured by copius amounts of alcohol and bacon.

For realz.

One of the other symptoms of this heinous disease, so I’ve been told, is that you can’t focus on one thing for more than

Hey! Squirrels! I thought they were hibernating for the winter!

Awww… look how cute they are…

Uh, where was I?

Oh – that’s right.

Brain Rabies - seeee??

No, I didn’t plan that wild tangent all out and go googling for pictures of cute little squirrels to distract you – it was just like it happened here, honest.  It’s the rabies, man.

I’ve had a million and one things floating around in my brain lately, all stuff that I wanted to blog about, sorta…

But, have you ever had 2 colors of play-doh, and made something where you mixed it together?

Yeah, it doesn’t ever look right again, and you can’t pick those 2 colors apart ever.

Hey… doesn’t this look a little like a squirrel, if you cock your head to the side a little and squint?

 Jumping tracks again, sorry.

And I just had the crap scared out of me!

While googling  for a picture of “mixed up playdoh”, I ran across this:

This is a picture of another blogger’s cat.

Here’s Sally, mine: 

Twins?  Doppelgangers? 

I don’t know, but I do know that if there are 2 out there like my Patchwork Sally – in all her rabid-squirrel-coon-cat glory…

We’re all doomed.

Brain rabies is only the beginning.

Eternal Sunshine of a Twisted Mind

Sunshine… on my shoulders… makes me happy…

Sunshine… in my eyes can make me cry…

Sunshine on the water looks so lovely…

And it looks even better on my blog!

I was surprised and pleasantly so, yesterday, when I was informed by a visitor that she had given me the Sunshine Award!

Dr. Sherry E. Showalter nominated me for this, and I am honored to accept, after checking out her blog, and learning that she is a speaker and psychotherapist about loss and grief, and has written a book entitled “Healing Heartaches – Stories of Loss and Life”.

Helping others deal with loss is something that I’m familiar with, and it’s something that fulfills me in a way I never thought possible.  And finding other people out there (of which I’ve met SO MANY since I’ve started blogging) who lend their shoulders, ears, hearts, and hankies to others to help them through the grieving process – it’s amazing at the generosity of the human race behind the scenes.  These healers of the heart, often wounded themselves in some way, are almost never recognized for all they do, or for everyone they’ve helped.  But I aim to recognize some of them today!

And now, for the instructions. I was told to answer some questions, so here you go!

Favorite Animal:   Ok, so I know it’s supposed to be a “real” animal… but I can’t choose just one.  Cats, dogs, horses, goats, mice, hamsters, ferrets, teenage children… they’re all beloved animals to me!

Favorite Number: 3
Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drink: Diet Coke
Facebook or Twitter: Facebook
My Passion: Writing, truly – madly – deeply
Getting or Giving Presents: Sure, I like getting, but I’d rather give.  I like watching people’s faces when they open something and realize it’s funny/cute/just what they wanted but didn’t know it/totally twisted and hilarious
Favorite Pattern: Um…Simple…
Favorite Day of the Week: Saturday
Favorite Flower: Carnations

And, of course, I’m supposed to nominate others to receive this award as well!  All deserving, and you should really go check them out -

1.  Mark – The Idiot:  Don’t let the nickname fool you, he’s one of the warmest, funniest, most compassionate people I’ve ever met.  And, he’s totally twisted too, so GO READ!  His blog is The Idiot Speaketh, and I’m honored to call him my BloggingBigBro.  Just don’t believe half the stuff you read, cause he’s got a wild imagination, and has no fear of using it to make himself look foolish!

2.  Mary at Fibromy-Awesome:  This gal has a voice that just won’t quit.  She is a funny, positive force out there, working on just getting through every day with a smile and a handful of wisdom that just seems like it’s common sense everyone should know.   

3. Sparrow at Sparrow’s Ramblings:  When you’re talking awards, Sparrow’s always on my list.  She’s one of my best friends, and she has helped me through some really tough times of my own – with a sarcastic wit and a compassionate heart, always willing to take on another’s burdens, in spite of her own life being a whirl of teenagers and jobs and drama that ensues from those. 

4. Dragonfae at Among the Crystals, Dragons and Fae:  A constant source of support and internet hugs, this lady is spectacularly unique and funny.  Smart, as in builds satellites, and wise as in knows the right things to say at the right moments.  Truly, a kick-ass lady with a heart of titanium – because it is stronger and can stand up to the rigors of space, of COURSE!

5. Mckenzie with a lil k at The Unabridged Girl:  This girl, her laughter is infectious; her compassion is boundless, and her talent is limitless.  She has a knack for knowing just what to say or do to make the sun come out on any given gloomy day.  With a quirky sense of humor and a gift for thinking sideways, she’s one of my treasured blogging friends.

Whew… so many people to nominate…

I’m going to stop at 5, instead of the previously stated 10 that Dr. Showalter nominated.  My fingers are all twisted and cramped now, and I don’t want to give anyone too long of a list to go check out all at once!

I’ll just end with this for today:

Even though the paths may wind

Through the shadows in my mind

Even darkness has its end

If you search around the bend

Twisted though the journey be

Sunshine appears – even with me.

Just a Touch

This might be a little TMI for some, but I’ve always been able to be open and vulnerable here.  It’s easier to say things from “behind the wizard’s curtain”, than it often is to say these things in real life for me.  A little anonymity goes a long way, I guess.  Things that I stutter and blushingly can’t spit out face-to-face, you’ll often find here, bold and in large print… I’m just a little weird that way. 

Anyway…

My friend, adopted sister, and fellow blogger, Sparrow, wrote the other day about the importance of human touch.

Not necessarily the mind-in-the-gutter, adult-R-rated meaning, just the simple act of touch.

And how important it is to a person’s well-being emotionally and physically.

I’d forgotten how necessary it was until I started dating A.

My ex wasn’t big on PDA.  Having been abused at a young age by babysitters, daycare workers, and growing up the way he did, he really didn’t want people to touch him much at all.  And so he didn’t touch others much, either.  Except for OnlySon, who was almost smothered sometimes, in hugs, hair-rufflings, etc.

And me?  Well, I was never really into the full-blown, get-a-room-wouldja! type of PDA, but I do like need a certain amount of human touch.  Or at least, that’s what I’m re-discovering.

I didn’t realize what I had been missing, how touch-starved I’d been, until A and I really started going out, and suddenly – someone was touching me.  Not because I asked him to, but because he simply wanted to. 

Taking my hand while we watched tv.

Brushing my hair from my face, and tucking it behind my ear.

Tucking my arm in his as we walked from the car to a restaurant.

Plopping his feet up in my lap as we snuggled on the couch, and I rubbed his feet, or me turning him to face away from me, so I can rub his neck and shoulders. (I know you’re laughing, but I like giving massages – so there!  :p) 

Rubbing the back of my neck as we drive from one place to another, or when we’re snuggled on the couch.

Holding my face in his hand.

Just a touch.

It’s a scientifically proven fact that monkeys will die when deprived of touch from a young age, or they’ll go insane.  It’s the same with humans, and babies have suffered from “failure to thrive” because of neglect.

And it’s something that’s totally preventable.  Cured through touch.

Something that simple, and yet, so many people are deprived of it – every day.  It’s no wonder the world’s gone a little insane. 

Luckily, I’m not one of them, not anymore. 

To Which I Say NOOOOOoooo….

My little girl is growing up way too quickly.

YoungerDaughter – my little Haus Frau, my Haus Maus baby-girl who used to sit with me for hours on end when she was little….

has a crush on an older boy  young man some dude who is actually older than EldestDaughter.

So now, she’s taking great pains with her hair, makeup and clothes every day, striving to look older, more sophisticated, than her formerly happily-scrunched 17-year old self.

And while I haven’t met this guy, I’ve seen his picture, and he doesn’t look much older than YD, so that makes it more difficult.  Trying to reconcile the actual age he is, with the age he looks, coupled with the fact that he works at the same restaurant that YD does, which is normally a young-person’s type of job. (He just finished school – college - as an “older student”, with my sister-in-law, another “older student”…. *sob*) 

Yeah, he’s over 21.  By a couple few years.

Yeah, once YD hits 18 this summer, it won’t make that big of a difference.

I know that “age is just a number” and that once you reach a certain number, it really doesn’t matter how many years separate 2 people that care about one another.  My brother and sister-in-law are 12 years apart, and they do just fine.

But it makes a difference now. 

And I’m not ready for it.

I’m not sure YD’s ready for it.

So far, this guy doesn’t know that YD likes him this much.

And I’m hoping (read desperately praying) that this is just a crush, and that it will blow over by graduation, or shortly after.

Please?

The Little Things

Yeah, yeah, I know what today is.

Who doesn’t?

I’ve never really been all that big on the 14th of February.

Mostly, because I have an issue with people who only show how much they care on 1 day of the year.  If you care about someone, it shouldn’t just be on 1 day, it should be all the time.

And it’s those little things, those almost-not-obvious moments, that mean the most.

*It’s stopping by because you know they aren’t feeling good, and need to have someone close, even if it’s across the room because they’re virulently contagious.

*It’s bringing cough drops, because you want them to feel better, and you know they don’t have any.

*It’s remembering that they like something, and remembering that they don’t like some things.

*It’s making someone laugh… even if they’re really grouchy and don’t want to.

*It’s sidelong glances when you think they’re not watching, just to find out that they are… and then they blush.

*It’s paying attention to the things they say, even if you don’t agree with it, or understand it – letting them talk something out and just actively listening.

*It’s knowing that you can argue with them – and they won’t just walk away, they’ll argue back. 

*Taking someone’s hand, just to hold it.

*Being content just to sit and watch bad cable tv with them, because they’re getting a kick out of it, and you like watching them laugh.

*Offering to help them when they need somebody who knows how to fix stuff.  Because you know how to fix stuff.

Most of these things don’t cost much, if anything. 

But they are priceless.

And I’d rather have them than a million cards.  Cards are words printed on paper, and sure, they can get your feelings down in indelible ink, proof admissible in court and all that… and yeah, they’re nice too.

But if I had to choose just one, I’d rather have all the little moments, the small touches and smiles, the day-to-day proof.

Oh, and flowers.  Cause I’m a girl, and I’m supposed to want flowers, right?

These are actually my favorites – carnations – cause they smell wonderful!

Ok, so yeah, I like flowers too.

 

 

So, if there’s someone in your life that you care about… you don’t need to say it with flowers, or chocolates, or cards today.

 

Laugh at their jokes, listen to them talk about their day/kids/work/favorite morning cartoon/frustrations/joys, take their hand, look into their eyes…

 

Show them.

 

And not just today.

 

*Love ~ it’s what’s for dinner

*Love ~ better than a kick to the head…wait – what?

*Love ~ just another wordpress.com blog

*Love ~ the other right meet

 

Random Flash Fiction ~ Valentina’s Day

“I think I’m in trouble, Jess,”  Valentina sighed heavily as she raked her hands through her copper-colored mane of hair.  A spark of fear flashed in her eyes before settling to tired resignation, as she looked up at her best friend seated across the table from her. 

“What do you mean, ‘in trouble?”  Jess watched her friend’s face carefully, knowing that she could see every mood slide across her friend’s face and get the true meaning behind her words just from body-language alone.  Valentina telegraphed her feelings in every move, every gesture, making her fairly easy to read.  And fairly easy for men to take advantage of. 

“Well, you remember how I told you that I wasn’t going to do that whole ‘love’ thing anymore?”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

“So?  What does it really hurt to try again?”  Jess reached over the table and tapped her finger on the back of Valentina’s hand.  “Just because Bill was a dick, doesn’t mean all men are, you know?  And Coop seems to be a decent guy.”  Tipping her head in front of the window to catch her friend’s wandering gaze, she held it with her own, forcing her to acknowledge what she was saying.  “I mean, really, how many guys do you know that will stop by just to check up on you when you’re sick, hunh?  Remember?”

Nodding, Valentina remembered.  Shortly after she’d met Coop and they’d started dating, she’d come down with an awful case of laryngitis.  Coop had ridden to the rescue, bringing her little things to cheer her up and help her feel better.  Most men she’d known would have run the other way, surgical masks clamped firmly in place to prevent “contamination”.

“Yeah, I have to admit, he does know how to be really sweet.  But…”

“But what?  He’s funny, you like that.  He makes you blush, which I haven’t seen you do in years, and you told me he pays attention better than anyone else you’ve ever known, male or female.  Which – by the way – thanks a lot.”  Laughing, Jess stuck her tongue out at the chagrined look on Valentina’s face.

“Sorry,”  Valentina blushed again, simply thinking about Coop sometimes brought that about.  She didn’t know what it was about him, but just being with him was somehow more peaceful, and more exciting – all at the same time.

“I just… well, I think I’m falling in love with him.  And I’m scared, Jess.  I’m having a hard enough time admitting it to myself, I don’t know if I can even tell him.  God, Jess,”  shoulders slumping heavily, the red-head’s eyes started to glitter with excess moisture.  “What if I screw this up, and he leaves me too?”

“I wouldn’t count on that.  I’m a little harder to get rid of than you think, V,”  the deep voice coming from right behind her paralyzed Valentina.  Terror stood out on her face as she realized that he’d heard – oh gods – what had he heard?

Spinning in her seat, Valentina looked up to see the man she’d only recently realized she loved.  From his hand resting on the hip of his dark blue jeans to his red button-down shirt, complete with the little bow and arrow applique on the pocket, he was completely relaxed and smiling down at her. 

“Coop! I, uh…” 

 

 

Breakthrough

Talking to EldestDaughter last night, I was… well, the only word to describe my state of mind at the time – is “elated”.

Considering the surroundings she’s in right now, court-forced treatment (because of a technicality, and a vindictive state’s attorney who has awful professional ethics), my ED has been going through some serious navel-gazing.

And she’s come to some realizations that I’ve been hoping for YEARS that she’d find for herself.

And, as awful as it sounds, maybe this treatment that she was forced into… won’t be the worst thing in the world for her.  Maybe this is exactly what she needed, at exactly the right time.  I just wish the circumstances surrounding it hadn’t had to happen the way they did.

I know, this all sounds so murky and round-a-bout.

I’m trying to protect ED’s privacy here.

Needless to say, the circumstances that got ED where she is now, where she has to be for a little while yet, have fallen behind the strides and gains ED has gotten from the people she’s surrounded by now.

Last night, after talking to her, and finding out all that she’s come to see – with both eyes open – and the complete shock that enlightened epiphany most often brings – I wanted to cry with relief.

It’s been a long road, and I just hope that ED can see it all the way through.  It’ll be so much healthier for her in the long run, and she’ll be so much happier at the end of this journey – if she just sees it to its conclusion.

Opening your eyes to who you really are – seeing it reflected in other people, through their own eyes – is not always easy.  It’s often painful, confusing, and can cause anxiety, anger, and depression.  But it can also spur you into making changes for yourself.

Because I’ve often said that you can never change another person.  And no one can ever make you change yourself.

You have to choose, for yourself, to make changes because you want them.  It’s the only way that the changes work, it’s the only way that they’ll ever stick, and it’s the only way to do it without resentment and recrimination.  Because it’s all you.

ED has been surrounded by people who have it worse than her, people with problems that she can’t imagine having to shoulder through.  But, through listening to them talk, and through hearing about some of the things in their lives that closely mirror her own… she’s finding that she now understands so much more about herself, and why she does some of the stupid things that she does.  And she’s gaining the tools necessary to not only forgive herself, but to forgive others for their past mistakes – so she can let go of all the old resentments that have been eating away at her for all these years. 

Once she can reach that point?  Everyone who has a problem with her will have to deal with their issues on their own, she won’t feel guilty for them anymore, and she can simply choose to walk away from the negativity, instead of trying to fix everyone else and make everyone else feel better by giving up pieces of herself.

We talked about how one of the people in her group was talking about being a “people pleaser”, always trying to make everyone else happy, they emptied themselves out of emotion, energy, etc.  And when they had given everything they had, and there was nothing left, they had to ”fill” that gap with something else, to take away the pain.

And ED realized that she’s been doing that with her Paternal Gene Donor for most of her life.  Trying to please him has repeatedly “emptied” her out.  Trying to “fix” others has repeatedly drained her dry of energy and will.  And once empty, she grew resentful.  Resentful that it was never enough, could never make those others happy.  So she would try to fill the void within herself with what she and I have taken to calling “dangerous fun”.  Those things that sound like so much fun, and friends will try to convince you are just “the best time ever”, but are dangerous to you, to others, and are almost always illegal.

And the one thing that ED realized that really made me want to cry?  That she is stronger than she ever thought.  She will make it through this, she will be better for it, and she will know that she can walk through fire – on her own if necessary – but that she also has a strong, loving, and unconditional support system waiting for her if she needs us.

I think my baby’s finally growing up, for real.

Thank you, Goddess, for letting me be a part of this, and for helping my little girl get through this time.

Mass Hysteria

(From Wikipedia – all-seeing, omniscient source of internet knowledge)

[Mass hysteria—other names include collective hysteria, group hysteria, or collective obsessional behavior—is the spontaneous manifestation of the same or similar hysterical physical symptoms by more than one person.^[1][2]

A common manifestation of mass hysteria occurs when a group of people believe they are suffering from a similar disease or ailment.]

People get a little nutty around the edges when they think there’s something suspicious floating around.  Maybe it’s caused by a version of hypochondria?  I don’t know.

And Mass Hysteria has been around for a long time. 

Historic cases:

• Dancing mania (e.g. Dancing Plague of 1518)
• Halifax Slasher
• Mad Gasser of Mattoon
• Salem witch trials
• Spring Heeled Jack

And there are some that are more recent, such as the LeRoy, New York incident:

“In late 2011, 12 high school girls developed Tourette-like symptoms. Their school was tested for toxins, and all other factors for their symptoms were ruled out. The case, and some of the girls and their parents gained national media attention. In January 2012, several more students and a 36-year-old adult female came forward with similar symptoms. They were all diagnosed with conversion disorder which doctors said had resulted from a traumatic experience earlier in their lives and was triggered by recent stress and anxiety”

And while most of these have to do with physical manifestations of some imaginary suspicion or paranoia, there are new outbreaks of mass hysteria everyday.

On Facebook.

On Twitter.

And all over the internet in general.

Today, my office received an “URGENT EMAIL – DO NOT DELETE – NEW VIRUS WARNING”

Basically telling us that if we opened any emails that were coming with an invitation to retrieve a holiday e-card, then we were going to inadvertently fry our harddrives, and possibly melt our brains as well.

That this was “The WORST VIRUS EVAAARR”, as told to them by “Dave’s brother, a high muckity-muck at Microsoft”.

Ohhh….kay…

So, after I read through the email, which cited Microsoft (through Dave’s brother, although… who’s Dave?  And why do we listen to his brother?), CNN, and Snopes.com – I decided to dig for myself.

I went to the Snopes website and read all the way to the bottom of their article about the “Hallmark Virus”.

It’s not new, it’s been around for years, in different forms.

It’s not “The Worst Virus Ever” – CNN never said that. (Kinda figured, but had to check it anyway)

And Snopes said that the easiest way to avoid the problem?  Don’t copy and paste a URL into your browser from an email.

Ever.

Internet Safety 101.

Maybe there should be courses out there to instruct people on this… and maybe it should be required in schools as well.  Teach young people how to avoid the viruses and worms in the first place, get the older generations before they’re allowed access to the “net”… a course you have to pass before your computer will let you log in for the first time?

I like the sound of that.

Kinda like those breathalyzers they hook up to repeat offenders’ cars. 

You can’t pass?  You get your keys yanked until you can.

Of course, then there’d be mass hysteria over the fact that someone’s telling you that you can’t access the internet.

Someone told the Internet Nazis I can’t be allowed to google LOLCats!”

…. good thing?