How many times will I do this?
How many times will I tell myself “never again”?
How many times?
Obviously, I’ll never learn this life lesson. I’ll return in my next life, fresh-faced & naive, and face this lesson again.
Because, somewhere, down in the bottom of my heart, even after all the times it’s been fractured & pinned back together…
There lies a shred of hope.
And I can’t seem to kill it.
It’s not done with me, yet.
Whatever is going on, the wrongness I’ve been feeling lately, it’s still there.
My anxiety & depression have been riding me for days, holding me under water, not letting me sleep. And I’ve been trying to restrain from posting here, since I know I have a tendency to word vomit and regret it later.
I’ve been trying to shake this off, but it’s not working.
And I don’t know what else to do, but retreat.
*delete, delete, delete*