Stuff Every Kid Should Learn About When They Get Here – The “B” Words

Onward, Little Buddha, we’ve got a lot of letters to cover, and so little time before you get here!

B – is for Blankie.  You will be needing one of these.  I know that there are plenty of them lined up for you to choose from.  Choose wisely, Little Buddha.  Thin, thick, heavy, soft, big or little… these things must all be taken into consideration when choosing one’s favorite scrap of cloth to cling to for comfort.  Don’t mind any of the goofiness that your parents might tell you about “convenience and washability”.  Fooey.  This is going to be your woobie, your blankie, your peace and your bestest good friend for a while.  Pick the one you like best.  Mom and Dad will just have to work around that.  (Psst – just a secret for you!  Mommy still has hers!)

B- is for Bounce.  There’s going to be a lot of this, too.  Babies fall down, often.  You’ll fall, get up, and fall again.  Don’t worry, Little Buddha, Gramma will laugh at the little bounces – so you know you’re ok.  For any big bounces, I’ll have plenty of bandaids and kisses to make it better.  Just remember – be a ball, not a brick.  Bricks don’t bounce very well at all.

Just keep in mind, though, that you can’t bounce very well off chairs, countertops, and roofs (Gramma tried this one when she was little, believe me – it doesn’t work!).

B – is for Bestest Baby.  That’s you, by the way.  Just so you know.  Cause you are.

A is for Aw, crap… another project meme?

I decided that I’m going to write some more “Gems of Wisdom from an Old Lady” to my new grandchild.  And I’m going to do it in an educational manner – alphabetically, cause you know I’m all about being educational!  So, I’m going to work my way through the alphabet, giving examples of general and specific

Stuff that Every Kid Should Learn About When They Get Here

A:  Is for Applesauce.  Launched at high velocity from highchair level, this mashed and processed fruit makes a wonderful wallpaper paste, as well as a great-smelling hair-care product for Mommy.  On the floor, it can cause many wonderful moments of slapstick humor as people slip in it and step onto it wearing socks.  Also make sure to get the cats, they could use a little fruit in their diets!

It’s also for Adventure.  You’ll have a lot of these in your life, make sure to invite your Gramma along once in a while, hunh?  Life gets boring doing nothing but sitting at home watching Elmo talk to his crayon drawings.  Let’s go find some trouble to get into, shall we?

A is also the first letter in Alcohol.  You don’t ever need this, it’s poison – it’s yucky, and Gramma is going to make sure to put the Mr. Yuck stickers all over any bottle that comes into her house with that word on it.  Poi—-son, stay away from Gramma’s poison, alright?  Gramma’s old, she can drink the poison.  You are little.  You can’t.  Ever. K?

A is a wonderfully versatile letter.  It also starts off the words Adorable, Affectionate, and Absolutely Perfect, which I know you will be. 

So there you go, Little Buddha.  Your A words for the day. 

Tomorrow we’ll work on the letter B.  For Bit— well, let’s keep that for tomorrow, alright?

 

Friendly Friday

You and your friends may not always agree

On what’s best

But as long as you can agree to be different

It’s all good.

Just don’t eat their face.  Cause that’s not friendly.

(Reposted from another one of my blogs – an old post, but I thought I’d revive it… just for today)

Letter to Little Buddha

My dearest grandchild,

As we get ready to welcome you into this life, I wanted to share some things with you.  Things that I know, things that I think you should know, and some things that I hope will help you as you start out on your journey.

First – I love you.  Already, before you are even born and among us, I know that you and I will share a special bond – that of Grandma and Grandbaby.  This is a different type of bond than that which you will share with anyone else.  And it’s a wonderful thing, because there won’t be any obligations between us.  I’m not your Mom or your Dad, I’m the Gramma.  I don’t have to be the one who lays down all the rules that we will be breaking together.  I don’t have to be the “boss”, just the Gramma.  This means I get to spoil you, love on you, give you advice, hugs, kisses, sneak you treats when your parents aren’t looking.  We will have a conspiracy between us that no one can break, because I’m the Gramma, and that gives me certain unalienable rights of spoilage.  I’m going to use those rights to the fullest of my ability.  You’re welcome.

Second – I will always have stories to tell you.  I am full of information – both useful and useless.  I will be able to giggle with you and tell you silly stories in funny voices, I will sing to you and teach you songs that I taught your Mommy.  I know stories old and new, and can make them up as we go along.  We will make up stories of our own, together, and I can and will always be up for a good session of “Good Night Moon”.  Count on Gramma, I’ve got a million of ’em.

Third – There’s a lot of scary stuff out there in the world, and I’ll be there to hide behind until you’re ready for it.  Mommy and Daddy will be there to protect you, too, but there’s nothing like hiding with Gramma.  You will always have a safe place to run to when the world gets too much.  And Gramma likes to bake, so we can have treats while we wait for the scary stuff to go away.

Fourth – Did I mention that I love you?  You’re going to hear that a LOT, so just to get you ready for it – I Love You.  I LUURRVE YOU.  Loveya.  LOVE YOU, little one!  There will be hugs and kisses and spending money tucked in your pocket and special little presents – “Just because”.  I’m the Gramma.  I get to be all lovey-dovey and people just expect it.  Get used to it.  I plan to. 

Fifth – When you get here, there are going to be a lot of people vying for your attention.  Grammas get special privileges.  We get to be bossy and tell people “It’s my turn”, even when it’s really not.  I’m going to be hogging a lot of your attention.  I get the most snuggles.  Fact.

Sixth – I know this is getting to be a long letter, but forewarning – Gramma’s get to be long-winded.  We have long stories, and are older than your parents.  We get to talk till we’re blue in the face.  I’m not saying you have to listen to all of it, and in fact, I expect you to roll your eyes half the time when you get to be a teenager.  But I’m going to talk anyway… just because I can.

Seventh – I love you.  Just thought I’d remind you… in case you forgot.

Eighth – When you and your Mom and Dad get into arguments, or aren’t getting along, I’ll be there.  You can pour all your troubles out to me, and I will listen without judgment.  I might ask you to try to work things out with your parents, and I’ll do my best to smooth the waters between you, but you can always come to me with things you can’t tell your folks.  Secrets are safe with me, unless they’re going to hurt you or someone else.  Then all bets are off, and I’ll meddle to my heart’s content.  I might meddle anyway, as long as it’s not going to hurt you to do it.  Gramma’s are good at meddling, it’s just something we do.  But I promise I’ll always have your best interests in my heart, and I’ll try to ask you before I meddle too much. 

Ninth – When life has you down, and you feel like no one understands you, or “gets it”… come to Gramma’s house.  Whether I understand “it” or not, I’ll snuggle you and help you feel better.  Cookies, milk, a warm blankie and an empathetic ear go a long way, honey.  Grammas always have love to spare.

And Tenth – I love you and can’t wait to meet you and hold you for the first time.  You are already special, Little Buddha, and I will make sure you feel like the wonderful, amazing, perfect little person you already are. 

~Love, Gramma

Sliced and Diced

I feel pulled in about a million different directions lately.

There are a lot of things going on, but it’s hard to pin just one of them down long enough to finish what needs to be done.

So I’m slicing and dicing this week.  A little here, a little there, and hope I end up with something that resembles a cohesive whole instead of something that ends up being fed to the dog.

I'll take the mess - no problem!

Here’s a little bit of what’s been going on:

 

*I’m trying to get the house ready for when the grand-baby gets here.  We have to clean the basement (which is difficult with Future-Son-In-Law leaving his stuff all over the floor, chairs, tv, tables, couch, etc.)  I also need to clean up the spare bedroom down there so we can get EldestDaughter’s and FSIL’s stuff in there.  Is it too late to call the reality show that helps people organize their homes and lives?  Yeah… I thought so.  They’d call it a “fail” anyway, I think. 

 

*Went out with some co-workers on Friday night.  It was fun – but I felt too old for the crowd.  I think I’m supposed to be having some kind of “mid-life crisis” over this?  Well, I’m not.  I like hanging out and laughing occasionally, but the party-girl era has passed.  I’d rather sit in a quieter restaraunt or bar and be able to actually have a chat with someone than be in a place that’s so crowded that taking a deep breath causes you to get accused of sexual harassment. I no longer remember where the fun is in attempting to stand still in a room jam-packed full of sweaty, drunken people who think screaming at the top of your lungs to be heard is the sign of a “good time”.

 

*And on that same tangent… I’m tired of people who think I should be on one side of the fence or the other when it comes to being friendly with others.

I can get along with a lot of different types of people, and I don’t have to bad-mouth either side to do it.  If others want to play the “my side/their side” game, count me out.   I had a friend who was extremely jealous of anyone I spent time with outside of that friendship.  Just because I talk to other people and can get along, doesn’t mean I’m any less of a friend.  I’m just not getting in the middle of the dispute.

 

*I want ED home.  She’s been away for almost a whole month, and I’m worried that she’s all alone at the end of her pregnancy.  There’s supposedly a winter storm coming on the day I’m supposed to be bringing her home, and she’s 2 hours away.  I’m praying as hard as I can that the weather holds out until we get her through my front door.  Then we can all relax a bit.

 

*OnlySon and I need to do something together again.  I feel like I’ve been neglecting him, even though he’s with his father a lot, and isn’t even home most weekends.  We need to do something – baking, book-shopping, something fun.  He has been getting along really well with A lately, though.  They’ve been talking “dude-stuff”, and OnlySon has been having a blast, giggling so hard he almost has a seizure.  I’m so glad they’re getting along – and fear that I’ve created a testosterone monster dynamic in which I end up out-numbered and getting the “It’s a guy thing” speech, complete with the rolling eyes and conspiratorial glances at each other.

 

*YoungerDaughter is having a rough time with her crush.  I’m trying to be as understanding as I can, but I’m truly not comfortable with her contemplating dating this guy.  He’s a decade older than her, they’re in completely different stages of their lives, and… did I mention he’s a decade older than her?  I know I can’t be hypocritical about this, because my brother and sister-in-law are 12 years apart, but at least they were both adults when they met.  YD is still just a teenager.  It does make a difference now, even if it won’t in a few years.

 

*I’m working on trying to get things ready for YD’s graduation in May.  There’s so much that has to be done, it’s a daunting task.  And, since the divorce, I have to organize it by myself, plus still keep the household running – with the addition of 2 more people (ED and FSIL), and the promise of another one (grand-baby) on the way next month.  Daunting, indeed. May is a lot closer than it appears at first glance.  I’m feeling a little like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, and wondering what I did with my pocketwatch – and my sanity?

 

But… as a wise man once said…

Well said, Mr. Bueller… well said.

 

Runaway Train

Lately my life has felt somewhat like this:

  The train is barreling down the track, and I haven’t been able to decide where I am in relation to the train.

Am I on the train?  Am I driving it, and haven’t figured out that the brakes work?  Am I in front of the train, and have no hope of getting off the tracks in time…

Or am I standing on the platform in the station, watching it as it speeds past?

Everything’s been moving at light-speed, barely giving me a moment to catch my breath from one stop to the next.  And while I’m moving as fast as I can, just to keep up… I’m not sure I have the brain power to keep moving this fast and furiously forever.

Not that all of it’s been bad.

Why do you have a problem with HappyMom?

There have definitely been some good things going on, and I’m happy about them.  Getting to know A better has absolutely been a good thing.  Being able to spend time with him, getting to know his kids, it’s been a whilrwind – but one I’m glad to be caught up in.  I wouldn’t change that, because it’s been a lot of fun, and I’m smiling more, giggling, even… it’s enough to make YoungerDaughter comment “Geez, Mom – you’re worse than a teenager!” 

To which I say “And that’s bad, why?”

And the anticipation time for the new grand-baby coming is growing.  We’re only a couple of weeks away from EldestDaughter’s due date, and she’s getting ever more impatient.  I’ve almost resigned myself to the fact that she’s going to find a way to get on the back of a motorcycle on a bumpy country road, just to be done with this already!

I laugh about it, but I remember that same feeling – oh so very well. 

But there have been other things, not-so-happy things, that have been zooming past, daring me to keep up or be left behind.  The situation with EldestDaughter has been a difficult one, and there are still some unresolved issues.  I know that we’ll work them out, get her life back on track and going in a healthy direction.  It’s just hard – knowing that I can’t actually do anything to catalyze the change.  ED has to do that herself.  I’m just here as support staff.

So, where does that leave me in relation to the train?  Hell if I know.

Somedays, I’m on it, watching the scenery slide past in a watercolor blur, not knowing which station I’ll get spat out at.

Some days – I’m driving the train – blowing the whistle and laughing my head off at the sheer exhiliration of the speed we’re travelling.  Hair blowing around my face, and my eyes shining, I look forward in anticipation of what’s going to appear seconds away just up over that ridge.  I’m strong, and ready for it.

Some days…. I feel more like this:

I guess – it’s all just a matter of perspective?

Brain Rabies

I think I’ve been infected.

It started with a sniffle, which moved to post-nasal drip, and stealthily worked its way up into my sinuses and back into my ears.

There is now a soft, but constant ringing noise in my right ear.

I will go insane because of this.

Oh, wait.  Crazy can only get “er”.

I’ve had my voice fluctuating between normal and husky – all the way to non-existent.  People are going to think the multiple personalities are finally coming out to play. 

They’re not – I keep them locked up good and tight with the other Voices in my head.

I know that most people refer to this as “the common cold”, and write it off as a small inconvenience.

Whatever.

It’s brain rabies, I know it!

I’ve heard about brain rabies, a friend with her own troop of flying monkeys told me about it, and so I know it’s real and dangerous, and can only be cured by copius amounts of alcohol and bacon.

For realz.

One of the other symptoms of this heinous disease, so I’ve been told, is that you can’t focus on one thing for more than

Hey! Squirrels! I thought they were hibernating for the winter!

Awww… look how cute they are…

Uh, where was I?

Oh – that’s right.

Brain Rabies – seeee??

No, I didn’t plan that wild tangent all out and go googling for pictures of cute little squirrels to distract you – it was just like it happened here, honest.  It’s the rabies, man.

I’ve had a million and one things floating around in my brain lately, all stuff that I wanted to blog about, sorta…

But, have you ever had 2 colors of play-doh, and made something where you mixed it together?

Yeah, it doesn’t ever look right again, and you can’t pick those 2 colors apart ever.

Hey… doesn’t this look a little like a squirrel, if you cock your head to the side a little and squint?

 Jumping tracks again, sorry.

And I just had the crap scared out of me!

While googling  for a picture of “mixed up playdoh”, I ran across this:

This is a picture of another blogger’s cat.

Here’s Sally, mine: 

Twins?  Doppelgangers? 

I don’t know, but I do know that if there are 2 out there like my Patchwork Sally – in all her rabid-squirrel-coon-cat glory…

We’re all doomed.

Brain rabies is only the beginning.

Eternal Sunshine of a Twisted Mind

Sunshine… on my shoulders… makes me happy…

Sunshine… in my eyes can make me cry…

Sunshine on the water looks so lovely…

And it looks even better on my blog!

I was surprised and pleasantly so, yesterday, when I was informed by a visitor that she had given me the Sunshine Award!

Dr. Sherry E. Showalter nominated me for this, and I am honored to accept, after checking out her blog, and learning that she is a speaker and psychotherapist about loss and grief, and has written a book entitled “Healing Heartaches – Stories of Loss and Life”.

Helping others deal with loss is something that I’m familiar with, and it’s something that fulfills me in a way I never thought possible.  And finding other people out there (of which I’ve met SO MANY since I’ve started blogging) who lend their shoulders, ears, hearts, and hankies to others to help them through the grieving process – it’s amazing at the generosity of the human race behind the scenes.  These healers of the heart, often wounded themselves in some way, are almost never recognized for all they do, or for everyone they’ve helped.  But I aim to recognize some of them today!

And now, for the instructions. I was told to answer some questions, so here you go!

Favorite Animal:   Ok, so I know it’s supposed to be a “real” animal… but I can’t choose just one.  Cats, dogs, horses, goats, mice, hamsters, ferrets, teenage children… they’re all beloved animals to me!

Favorite Number: 3
Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drink: Diet Coke
Facebook or Twitter: Facebook
My Passion: Writing, truly – madly – deeply
Getting or Giving Presents: Sure, I like getting, but I’d rather give.  I like watching people’s faces when they open something and realize it’s funny/cute/just what they wanted but didn’t know it/totally twisted and hilarious
Favorite Pattern: Um…Simple…
Favorite Day of the Week: Saturday
Favorite Flower: Carnations

And, of course, I’m supposed to nominate others to receive this award as well!  All deserving, and you should really go check them out –

1.  Mark – The Idiot:  Don’t let the nickname fool you, he’s one of the warmest, funniest, most compassionate people I’ve ever met.  And, he’s totally twisted too, so GO READ!  His blog is The Idiot Speaketh, and I’m honored to call him my BloggingBigBro.  Just don’t believe half the stuff you read, cause he’s got a wild imagination, and has no fear of using it to make himself look foolish!

2.  Mary at Fibromy-Awesome:  This gal has a voice that just won’t quit.  She is a funny, positive force out there, working on just getting through every day with a smile and a handful of wisdom that just seems like it’s common sense everyone should know.   

3. Sparrow at Sparrow’s Ramblings:  When you’re talking awards, Sparrow’s always on my list.  She’s one of my best friends, and she has helped me through some really tough times of my own – with a sarcastic wit and a compassionate heart, always willing to take on another’s burdens, in spite of her own life being a whirl of teenagers and jobs and drama that ensues from those. 

4. Dragonfae at Among the Crystals, Dragons and Fae:  A constant source of support and internet hugs, this lady is spectacularly unique and funny.  Smart, as in builds satellites, and wise as in knows the right things to say at the right moments.  Truly, a kick-ass lady with a heart of titanium – because it is stronger and can stand up to the rigors of space, of COURSE!

5. Mckenzie with a lil k at The Unabridged Girl:  This girl, her laughter is infectious; her compassion is boundless, and her talent is limitless.  She has a knack for knowing just what to say or do to make the sun come out on any given gloomy day.  With a quirky sense of humor and a gift for thinking sideways, she’s one of my treasured blogging friends.

Whew… so many people to nominate…

I’m going to stop at 5, instead of the previously stated 10 that Dr. Showalter nominated.  My fingers are all twisted and cramped now, and I don’t want to give anyone too long of a list to go check out all at once!

I’ll just end with this for today:

Even though the paths may wind

Through the shadows in my mind

Even darkness has its end

If you search around the bend

Twisted though the journey be

Sunshine appears – even with me.

To Which I Say NOOOOOoooo….

My little girl is growing up way too quickly.

YoungerDaughter – my little Haus Frau, my Haus Maus baby-girl who used to sit with me for hours on end when she was little….

has a crush on an older boy  young man some dude who is actually older than EldestDaughter.

So now, she’s taking great pains with her hair, makeup and clothes every day, striving to look older, more sophisticated, than her formerly happily-scrunched 17-year old self.

And while I haven’t met this guy, I’ve seen his picture, and he doesn’t look much older than YD, so that makes it more difficult.  Trying to reconcile the actual age he is, with the age he looks, coupled with the fact that he works at the same restaurant that YD does, which is normally a young-person’s type of job. (He just finished school – college – as an “older student”, with my sister-in-law, another “older student”…. *sob*) 

Yeah, he’s over 21.  By a couple few years.

Yeah, once YD hits 18 this summer, it won’t make that big of a difference.

I know that “age is just a number” and that once you reach a certain number, it really doesn’t matter how many years separate 2 people that care about one another.  My brother and sister-in-law are 12 years apart, and they do just fine.

But it makes a difference now. 

And I’m not ready for it.

I’m not sure YD’s ready for it.

So far, this guy doesn’t know that YD likes him this much.

And I’m hoping (read desperately praying) that this is just a crush, and that it will blow over by graduation, or shortly after.

Please?

The Little Things

Yeah, yeah, I know what today is.

Who doesn’t?

I’ve never really been all that big on the 14th of February.

Mostly, because I have an issue with people who only show how much they care on 1 day of the year.  If you care about someone, it shouldn’t just be on 1 day, it should be all the time.

And it’s those little things, those almost-not-obvious moments, that mean the most.

*It’s stopping by because you know they aren’t feeling good, and need to have someone close, even if it’s across the room because they’re virulently contagious.

*It’s bringing cough drops, because you want them to feel better, and you know they don’t have any.

*It’s remembering that they like something, and remembering that they don’t like some things.

*It’s making someone laugh… even if they’re really grouchy and don’t want to.

*It’s sidelong glances when you think they’re not watching, just to find out that they are… and then they blush.

*It’s paying attention to the things they say, even if you don’t agree with it, or understand it – letting them talk something out and just actively listening.

*It’s knowing that you can argue with them – and they won’t just walk away, they’ll argue back. 

*Taking someone’s hand, just to hold it.

*Being content just to sit and watch bad cable tv with them, because they’re getting a kick out of it, and you like watching them laugh.

*Offering to help them when they need somebody who knows how to fix stuff.  Because you know how to fix stuff.

Most of these things don’t cost much, if anything. 

But they are priceless.

And I’d rather have them than a million cards.  Cards are words printed on paper, and sure, they can get your feelings down in indelible ink, proof admissible in court and all that… and yeah, they’re nice too.

But if I had to choose just one, I’d rather have all the little moments, the small touches and smiles, the day-to-day proof.

Oh, and flowers.  Cause I’m a girl, and I’m supposed to want flowers, right?

These are actually my favorites – carnations – cause they smell wonderful!

Ok, so yeah, I like flowers too.

 

 

So, if there’s someone in your life that you care about… you don’t need to say it with flowers, or chocolates, or cards today.

 

Laugh at their jokes, listen to them talk about their day/kids/work/favorite morning cartoon/frustrations/joys, take their hand, look into their eyes…

 

Show them.

 

And not just today.

 

*Love ~ it’s what’s for dinner

*Love ~ better than a kick to the head…wait – what?

*Love ~ just another wordpress.com blog

*Love ~ the other right meet