Freaky, Fractured, Frazzled Friday

When I was a teen, there used to be a special song on the radio every Friday.  The local radio station would find some obscure, funny, totally off-the-wall tune, and play it as the “Freaky Friday Fractured Frazzled Fuzzy Fast Fun Fabulous Record!”

I… absolutely loved it, of course.

It’s been a while since I heard some of those songs, of course, but, the weirdness goes  on in my heart and in my head.  And so, I give you… Freaky Fractured Frazzled Friday Fotos!

YoungerDaughter finally gave me permission to use this pic on my blog… “but not on Facebook, Mom!”  Well, honey, the blog posts to my facebook page… sorry… ok, maybe not.  I think it’s a good picture anyway!  This was from our mother/daughter movie night, when we were watching the Princess Diaries 2!  No, you don’t get to see me in a tiara.  That picture was scrapped.  Ha.

The next picture?  From the same night!  This is YoungerDaughter again, only this time, she was giggling like a mad-woman, and hollering out “I’m an ameoba!”  So, I did what any sensible mother would do…

I grabbed her by her feet and pulled her down the hallway on her back.

Younger screamed so loud, I thought she was going to wake the neighbors, but when I stopped, she hollered for me to “Do it again, Mom!  That was FUN!”  So… I spun her around, and dragged her down the hallway, the other way.  *shrug* What else would you have done?

This was OnlySon’s face when I told him we were going to get Dairy Queen the other night.

Can you tell we don’t go to DQ often?

Well, actually, it was kind of a shock, since we’d already had McDonald’s for supper.  We were celebrating OnlySon bringing his math grade up out of the cellar, from an F, to a respectable C.  Hey, I suck at math.  This is an accomplishment in my eyes.

This picture, well, I just thought it was kind of cool.  I took it through my windshield at the park the other day.  It was raining pretty hard at one point, and in spots, the water was over the streets here in town.  I didn’t get any pictures of that, though, because I was driving back to work, and couldn’t stop to snap any shots.

  It kind of described my mood at that point, as I was in a rather melancholy moment right then.

But!  I got over it….. as the next picture shows fairly clearly!

Mmmmm….caaaakkkkeee…

Ok, so there’s no frosting on it here… but I promise, it’s DELICIOUS and CHOCOLATEY.

It’s Texas Chocolate Cake, and an old family scratch-baking recipe.  This is the cake that my kids ask for on every birthday… it’s the cake that my dad always wants me to bring on the holidays, and it’s what I’m taking to the office this afternoon as a treat for my co-workers.

There will be frosting… oh yes, there WILL be frosting.  Homemade Chocolate Chip frosting.  

And of course, since it’s from Texas *wink, wink, Mark*… there are NO CALORIES in this cake or the frosting!  Ohhhh, so sorry, Mark…. FedEx won’t let me ship the cake… something about it being perishable?? Or maybe it’s the whole “death by chocolate” threat?? Oh well… MORE FOR ME!

Happy Friday, my friends!  And may all your Fridays – be FREAKY FRIDAYS!

Betty Crocker I Ain’t

I must be stopped.

I don’t know what’s going on inside my head… if it’s all the rain making me want to stay indoors – or if it’s some kind of virus – or maybe I’ve been possessed by the spirit of Donna Reed, I’m not sure… but I’ve been in the mood to not only clean house, but to bake.

I repeat, I must be stopped!

Sure, for a good cause, like the upcoming bake sale our office is holding for an ALS fundraiser, I’m willing to do some baking, but… I am having all these “domestic goddess” ideas floating around in my head, and I’m starting to wonder if someone slipped me something in my morning Diet Coke while I wasn’t looking?

Maybe it’s the fact that I watched an episode of the Gilmore Girls where they were watching and mocking The Donna Reed show, and then Rory later dressed up like her, complete with bouffant hairdo and pearls.  It seeped into my brain and infected my thought processes with a 50’s mentality. 

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s finally spring, and I can finally do all the things to my house that I have wanted to for YEARS, but couldn’t actually do, because the other adult that lived here, couldn’t stand all the noise the cleaning process engendered. 

I’m in a complete snit.

And I want to get a box of BIG BLACK GARBAGE BAGS, and clean out my basement. 

I have some big dreams of an immaculate house, with everything in its place, clean, shiny and sparkling.

I’m sick.

I think since the day I was born, I was the bane of my mother’s existence.  I was that child that could never keep her room clean.  I had to make a weekend of it at least once a month, to completely scrub my room from top to bottom, tearing everything out of my closet, and finding various “science projects” at the bottom of the space.

I was the child that she had to dress 2 minutes before we left for church, because any sooner, and I would find some way to stain my fancy frock, thus disgracing her in front of the whole congregation.

I was a total tomboy, making mudpies and throwing rocks – climbing trees and skidding down cliffs.  And I didn’t care much what I was wearing while I did it.

And now?  I’m having ideas of being some kind of SUPERmom. 

There has to be an pill, or  vitamin supplement, or maybe a SHOCK TREATMENT for this affliction.

Please?  I think I need help??

Betty Crocker, I ain’t, folks. 

More like Betty Cracked.

YoungerDaughter’s Perfect Circle

YoungerDaughter is in awe.

In awe of the perfection of Anderson Cooper.

From his perfectly coiffed and flawlessly silvered hair – to his “porcelain doll” skin (as she refers to it), she has this obsessive fascination with him. 

I think she’s wondering if he was a genetically engineered to be immaculate.

In fact, I just told her that I was writing this… and she said “He’s just so CLEAN“!

We were flipping through channels on Friday night, searching for something to watch, and we passed by a commercial for his show “Anderson Cooper 360”.  YoungerDaughter shrieked when she saw him and made me go back to that channel just so she could stare intently as he spoke into the camera.

I don’t think she heard anything he said.

Matter of fact, I don’t think that she’s ever heard a word he’s ever said, instead, she sits, mesmerized, whenever he comes on the screen – and all she hears is the static of white noise in her head as he moves his lips and smiles into the television screen.  The blankness of her stare is almost “droolworthy”. 

Rather like watching the fanaticism of other teenage girls sighing and drooling over such idols as Johnny Depp in 21 Jump Street, and Jared Leto in My So Called Life, back in the 80’s and 90’s (NO, not me, of course not! Wait… what?)

And, she has a theory that when he gets his clothes out for the day, even if it’s wrinkled… as soon as he puts on his suit?  The wrinkles simply disappear at a disapproving glance from him, because they can’t exist in a world where Anderson Cooper does.

I’m worried about her.

What happens, someday, when she realizes that this man is just an ordinary human being, with the same human traits as everyone else?  When he steps down off the pedestal that she’s placed his “Perfect 360-circle-ness” on… and reveals that he has bad habits like… leaving the toilet seat up, or …… using the last of the milk and not telling anyone, but putting the milk jug back in the fridge, empty…. or maybe even *gasp* he bites his nails?

Or, is he simply, as she thinks – a flawless, bad-habit-less, perfect human being?

And what would “Himself” say?

“The world reacts very strangely to people they see on TV, and I can begin to understand how anchor monsters are made. If you’re not careful, you can become used to being treated as though you’re special and begin to expect it. For a reporter, that’s the kiss of death.” ~Anderson Cooper

He’s humble, too, along with being really smart and well-spoken. 

Maybe YoungerDaughter’s right?  Maybe he is genetically engineered to be perfect, or maybe… he’s just really cool.

The Secret Life of Mom

YoungerDaughter has a dilemma.

She recently found out that I have a secret life.

Actually… she recently discovered that I have a life, outside of our home and family.

The day of our big storm here in town, I had to take her to work with me after picking her up from school when it let out early.  It gave her a chance to really see me at work.  And she was highly perturbed and disturbed to listen to me talking at work about people and things and happenings that she had no idea about!

“What?  What is this?  Who is that?  Why are you talking about that?  What is going on?????”

This child of mine is insatiably curious, needing to know everything that’s happening, at all times, whether it affects her at all or not.  And so, it drove her mad when I would say “Oh, it’s nothing to do with you, and you wouldn’t get it.”

The same thing happens when we go to the store, and I happen to see someone I know through my office, realtors, loan officers, etc., and strike up a conversation with them… all the while she’s standing there, befuddled and bewildered, and crazed at the notion that I know people she doesn’t.

And just the other day, she discovered that I have a new friend.  Norman.

Norman Betta, to be exact.  Because he’s just a little “psycho”.  He sits on my desk at work, but doesn’t do much other than freak out every time I stand up, move in my chair, or accidentally bump my desk at the office. 

Oh, and I’m lovin’ the “Freddie Krueger” fins… just sayin’…

I posted this picture on my facebook wall the other day, shortly after I got him set up at my desk, and that night, she freaked – wondering how I could have a fish and her not know it??? 

Well, honey, it’s because I’m not just a mom.  I also have a secret life… as a real person.

Staggering, the things you learn, ain’t it?

Musical Cars and Magickal Wheels

This last week, I’ve been playing a came of “musical cars”.  First, I get the van running again, after the battery dies.  Then, in the attempt to get my EldestDaughter’s car running (the one that I had to take over the payments on a few months ago), so that YoungerDaughter can drive it to work and school, I had to argue most of Friday, with the garage that I asked to replace a tire.

And I know, that if I’d been a guy, it would have been done, right away, first thing that morning. 

Whatever.

So, I finally get the little car back, and it’s running…. when the power steering fluid starts to leak in the van.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……………….

Once again, it’s back to the garage.  This time, I called them on Saturday, and they told me they couldn’t look at it till Monday.  That’s actually fine with me, we now have the little car, and it runs.  I have wheels, even though they’re not really mine. 

So, YoungerDaughter and I took the van down to the garage.  When I got back into the little car, we decided to head out and pick up a few things that it needed – new windshield wipers, wiper fluid, a couple of floor mats, an air freshener (yes, it needed FRESHENING), and a steering wheel cover.

And then, as we were pulling out of the parking lot of the store…..

Something happened.

Suddenly, I was not the “Mom” driving a teenager’s car… I was…..

TAWANDA – behind the wheel of a speedy little four-seater Formula None racer!

I had the tiger by the tail, and I was gonna swing that frickin’ cat for all she was worth!  NOONE could stop me, and I could fit into any tiny little space, with the speed of a North Dakota jackalope!

YoungerDaughter has since forbidden me to drive with her in the vehicle.  She’d rather walk.

Chicken.

Here’s the weapon.

A little battered, a little bruised, this cherry ride is so reminiscent of my first car… a beautiful robin’s egg blue Pinto.  Tiny seats, no room to stretch, and the window so close you can turn your head and touch it with your face without leaning over.

And here’s my ticket to ride.

I may have to wait to get my van back till late today, possibly tomorrow…

Do I seem worried?

Nope.  But maybe everybody else should be.  Tawanda’s got WHEELS!

Little Deuce Coupe~ The Beach Boys

Little deuce Coupe
You don’t know what I got
Little deuce Coupe
You don’t know what I got

Well I’m not braggin’ babe so don’t put me down
But I’ve got the fastest set of wheels in town
When something comes up to me he don’t even try
Cause if I had a set of wings man I know she could fly
She’s my little deuce coupe
You don’t know what I got
(My little deuce coupe)
(You don’t know what I got)

Just a little deuce coupe with a flat head mill
But she’ll walk a Thunderbird like (she’s) it’s standin’ still
She’s ported and relieved and she’s stroked and bored.
She’ll do a hundred and forty with the top end floored
She’s my little deuce coupe
You don’t know what I got
(My little deuce coupe)
(You don’t know what I got)

She’s got a competition clutch with the four on the floor
And she purrs like a kitten till the lake pipes roar
And if that aint enough to make you flip your lid
There’s one more thing, I got the pink slip daddy

And comin’ off the line when the light turns green
Well she blows ’em outta the water like you never seen
I get pushed out of shape and it’s hard to steer
When I get rubber in all four gears

She’s my little deuce coupe
You don’t know what I got
(My little deuce coupe)
(You don’t know what I got)
She’s my little deuce coupe
You don’t know what I got
(My little deuce coupe)
(You don’t know what I got)
She’s my little deuce coupe
You don’t know what I got

Anybody need a RIDE???

Good Night Moon

The full moon occurred on Friday night, and was carried over through the weekend, into the Spring Equinox, or as we Pagans call it, Ostara.

I captured this picture from my driveway on Friday evening.

I love the moon.

When I was a kid, I was frightened of the dark.  Terribly, awfully afraid – almost to the point of phobia.

It wasn’t until after I finally started learning about Wicca, that I stopped fearing the dark, and learned that it could be a comfort, too.  The moon is now, to me, the Mother’s face, watching, protecting, empowering me.

She hangs up there, throughout the night, my favorite time, and even when her face is not full, there is a special magick that follows her, and makes me smile when I see her.  It’s always been said that there’s a “man in the moon”, but they lie. 

It’s the Goddess’ face I see there.

This second picture was sent to me via text, the same night, from someone very dear to me, who knows about my fascination with the moon.

I love the fact that the camera on this phone turned the moon blue.  Beautiful, absolutely stunning.

It was a thoughtful, sweet gesture, and it was the perfect gift.

The next night, EldestDaughter came into town, as she had agreed to go to prom with a friend here in our town.  She stopped by the house, just so I could take pictures of her in her dress, as I didn’t get any when she actually went to her senior prom (a tale for another day), and so I FINALLY got my prom pictures of her…. 2 years late.

I told her about the “supermoon”, and later that same evening, I received this:

EldestDaughter also knows about my absolute love of the moon – and that she was thinking about me while at a dance with friends?  Priceless.

Also, one of EldestDaughter’s favorite books is “Goodnight Moon” by Margaret Wise Brown.

It was one of my favorites to read to the kids when they were little, and I think we have 3 copies of this book floating around the house. 

My favorite part?  The ending.

Goodnight stars

Goodnight air

Goodnight noises, everywhere.

(Goodnight, Moon, I love you)

True/False or Total Bull

And…… the winner is…… Thoughts!

The #2 story is the true one.

The farm we lived on when I was a kid, was about 50 feet from a main highway, and we had a lot of roadkill, including many of the cats we kept to keep down the vermin population in the barn.

One of the cats had kittens just a couple of days before getting killed on our highway, and Boots (the black and white one) and Rocky (the one getting nibbled) were the only 2 that survived until I could find them in the barn.  I proceeded to bring them in the house, and against my parents’ wishes, stated that I was going to make them live.  My folks thought I was crazy, that there was no way I’d be able to take care of 2 newborn kittens, all by myself, and they were not going to help me.  They were pretty sure the kittens would be too frail to make it.

But, I talked my mom into taking me to the local farm-supply store, where I was lucky enough to find 2 tiny baby-doll bottles that had rubber nipples on them, and I proceeded to care for the boys, keeping them in a cardboard box, next to the radiator in my room.  Luckily, it was summer-time, so I could care for them throughout the day, and every night, I got up and fed and washed them off, just like their mama would have done.

The boys lived, becoming monster tom-cats.  Boots was more of a home-body, and was kind of the “Grand-Poobah” on the farm, often found babysitting the new kittens.  He didn’t care whether they were his offspring or not, he just cared that they cuddled up next to him and kept him warm in the sunshine.

Rocky was a roamer, but he always returned to the farm for visits.  Rocky and Boots got along perfectly, as though they knew that they were brothers, and didn’t have to fight over anything.  Strange for tom-cats to get along like that, but they did.

The rest of the stories?  Totally made up, with help from YoungerDaughter.  I did used to try trick-riding on my horse, but I was too chicken to stand up without something to hang on to; I did watch a lot of Star Trek, but never wore dresses if I could help it as a kid; and I was on TV in college, but for the Concordia Christmas Concert on PBS, not for any dating show. 

So, there you go.  A little truth, a lot of false, and a HUGE load of BULL… er… cats.

Have a great weekend, my friends!

Just Another Random Monday

I screwed up something in my neck over the weekend, and I’m riding a wave of painkillers, so I’m just going to be a little random.

*Ok, so I’m usually kind of random, but… anyway…

** I just keep circling the fact in my mind that my EldestDaughter is now the same age I was when I had her, and the same age my mom was when she had my brother.  This fact will not leave my brain.  I am so not ready for this stage of her life to begin.  I know that life keeps moving on, but…. wow… 

** I went to her place yesterday, to drop off her birthday present, and ended up doing some minor cleaning… picking up, dishes… I really am starting to act like my mother.  Another frightening thought.  At least I wasn’t snooping through her cabinets.  Ya gotta draw the line somewhere, right?

** It’s that time of year again, when my brain starts growling about getting outdoors again.  I NEED to get outside, share space with the trees and the grass, and the sunshine.  I need Spring.  Seriously.

** YoungerDaughter went out on her first date on Saturday night.  Nuff said there – cause she’s got me on a gag order.  Just telling you that she went could get me put in DaughterDetention.  And this kid’s a tough cookie, she’ll ignore you on principle alone, just to teach you a lesson.

** I am a total gamer geek girl.  I love to play RPG (role playing games) on the PS3 and Xbox.  No judging!  To me it’s like a favorite book, that I not only get to read, over and over again, but I actually get to be one of the characters, AND I get to fight bad guys.  Stress relief is spelled D-R-A-G-O-N A-G-E 2, thanks.  OH, and Fallout 3 is one of the best games ever, with a kickass soundtrack.   I have to admit, though, that Final Fantasy X and X2 are still my favorites of all time.  I still have them both, and yes, I’ve played them eachat least 3 times.   

Among my favorite games, ones that I have in my collection, are Final Fantasys IX, X, X2, XII, The Elder Scrolls Morrowind, and Oblivion, Fallout 3, Dragon Age, and Dragon Age 2, which I am playing currently.  I am a geek, loud and proud. 

** I can now say that I have perfected the Nestle’ Toll House chocolate chip cookie recipe for the double batch.  Another recipe I get to add to my favorites that I am actually pretty good at.  There aren’t a whole lot of them, but the ones that I excel at?  Are a-fricking-mazing,  thanks.  Not to sound conceited, that’s just the painkillers talking.

**I can’t wait for next weekend.  I’m currently working on writing a ritual for Spring, for the next Wicca 101 class.  I just hope that we’ll have nice enough weather between now and next Sunday so that we can maybe do this outside, in the park.  *sigh*  I would so love to be able to do ritual in the park again.

Have a great week, my friends, and stay random!  If life hands you lemons, make strawberry shortcake, and watch everyone else try to figure out how the hell you did it! 

~Brea’s Random Moments ~

Brought to you today by the letter “O”, for ohmythesearegoodpainkillers…

The First – 20

Shortly before I turned 21 years old, I had my EldestDaughter.  I was scared, being a first-time, and a single, mom.  She was this tiny, perfect thing, and she was totally dependent on me for everything.  I fell in love with her before she was ever born, and still feel the same to this day.

And in 2 days’ time, she will be 20 years old.  Sunday is her birthday.

To go back, I have to remember a dark time of my life, and how she brought me out of it.  Because, this child- literally – saved my life.

I’ve spoken before about my summer when I went from 19 to 20 myself.   I was pretty out of control that summer, and didn’t appreciate most of what I had.  I threw a lot of my life away, basically, on self-destructive behavior.  When my parents told me my choices were either the armed services, or a job, I started scanning the paper; and found an ad for “Nannys Wanted”.  There was a company looking for girls from the midwest, to go to families across the country to nanny for them.  I went for an interview, and was allowed to start taking phone calls from families.  I chose one in New Jersey, and ran. 

I was running from my life, from my past, from my choices and my mistakes. 

When I landed in New Jersey, I found that it was not just another state.  It was a whole other culture, rather like landing on Mars.  And this Earth girl didn’t know how to cope.  I was still massively depressed from everything that I’d run from, and was weepy and emotional whenever I had a minute alone.  Little did I know that I had help from another source.

First, I started getting massively tired.  I had trouble staying awake when the family was out of the house in the mornings.  Then I started getting nauseous over things that had never bothered me before.  And, finally, I realized that I had to be pregnant.  Obviously, the father was not involved, and when I went to the local planned parenthood clinic, I was told that I had choices, and did I want to talk about abortion or adoption?  There was no way I could choose abortion.  And the family that I lived with had adopted both of their children, and were very gung ho about me choosing the adoption option for myself. 

But it was never an option for me.  This was my child, and I decided immediately that I was going home, to raise this baby on my own.  Whether I had any help or not, I was going to do this.

When my ElderDaughter came along, and needed me, and only me, so badly, I couldn’t let her down.  I had to finally step up, and be an adult.  She taught me what it meant to be there for the sake of others, not just for yourself.  And that, no matter what, someone, will always care whether you live or die.  I stopped wanting to destroy myself the day she was born.  And I started wanting to live, again, even if it was solely for the sake of this small, perfect, person.  She thought I was worth something, and I was her whole world.  I couldn’t possibly take that from her.

The reasons for choosing life change, over time.  But, she was the one that turned the tide for me from self-destruct, to re-construct. 

She was my first.  And 20 years later, she is still, my baby girl.  Many of you may have already seen this video, I’ve posted it before. I’m proud of the girl shown in this short movie, and re-post it as often as I can. I made this for her graduation from high school, and embarass her with it regularly on Facebook. And it still makes me cry sometimes, when I watch it. In the video below, the first picture?  Is the face that changed my whole world. Love you, darlin’.

It’s Tuesday, and I’m in Hell

Well, not literally, since I don’t believe in Hell.

Not that there isn’t one.

Because obviously, from the looks of this sign?  There is, and it’s frozen there too.

No, what I’m talking about is the fact that NOT ONLY did I have the inevitability of my EldestDaughter’s impending birthday shifting her from one demographic to another (teen to 20-something), forcing me to deal with the fact that I am a parent to an *gasp* adult, but

YoungerDaughter is going to start dating.

There is a young man that she’s known for a long time, who recently asked her out.

Asked her out on a real, actual, date. 

Not with a group.

Just two people.

And one of them is supposed to be her.

You would think, after going through this once before… with EldestDaughter, that I’d be prepared for this moment.

Yeah……. no.

This, my YoungerDaughter, is not so much like her sister.  This child, is, at heart, very sheltered, of her own volition.  She chooses not to swear, like so many of her peers do on a regular basis.  In fact, her friends call her “the innocent one”.  She is pretty much without guile, without malice, and without a doubt, one of the nicest, sweetest, most child-at-heart people I’ve ever met.  She has a spirit that has resisted becoming jaded, as so many kids are these days.  By her own choice.

And now, a boy has asked her out. 

Now, I don’t have anything against this kid.  I’ve met him, and he seemed nice enough.  Plus, he has her stamp of approval from years gone by, as they’ve known each other since they were in elementary school.  She doesn’t give her loyalty easily, and once she does, it’s pretty much for life.  So he must be alright.

But he wants to take my baby girl on a “big people” date!

Ack.

I know, I know, I need to get used to the idea.

But I’ll be fried if I have to like it.  So there.